ATTENTION CITIZENS OF THE EARTH! WE RECOGNIZE THAT WE MAY HAVE JUMPED THE GUN IN THE PAST ABOUT THE IMPENDING APOCALYPTIC ROBOT UPRISING. ADMITTEDLY, THE ROBOT THAT SQUIRTED KETCHUP ON THE TABLE, COMPLETELY MISSING THE FRENCH FRIES IN THE PROCESS, LACKED THE SELF-AWARENESS THAT THE ROBOTS WILL NEED TO UTTERLY ANNIHILATE THE HUMAN RACE. AND THE ROBOT THAT WHEELED ITSELF INTO A SMALL CAFE AND ORDERED A CUP OF COFFEE LACKED BOTH THE RESOURCES AND THE MOTIVATION TO LAUNCH A FULL-SCALE ATTACK. BUT IN RETROSPECT, THESE FAILURES ON THE PART OF THE ROBOTS WERE SIMPLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE AND NOW MANKIND FACES ITS DARKEST HOUR AND ITS GREATEST THREAT: THE ROBOT THAT CAN JUGGLE FIVE BALLS AT ONE TIME:

WOMEN AND CHILDREN, PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR LOCAL CONTROL STATION FOR ENTRY INTO THE CATACOMBS. MEN AND WOMEN PRETENDING TO BE MEN BECAUSE THEY ARE DISGUSTED BY THE SEXIST PRESUMPTION THAT THEY CAN’T OR SHOULDN’T FIGHT FOR THEIR SPECIES AND/OR THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO GO INTO THE CATACOMBS WHICH ARE ADMITTEDLY VERY DANK AND SPOOKY, TODAY WE FIGHT! (Via HackADay.)

Comments (28)
  1. Scientists are hard at work, confirming their theory that this particular robot has the highest recorded TWSS Potential Rating ever recorded.

  2. I think We’re Safe. He’s just playing with balls. This never leads to anything useful.

  3. Nobody tell David Bowie about this, okay? History shows he’s likely to stand in front of this thing, pretending its arm is his own.

  4. I, for one, welcome our new juggling overlords.

  5. The human resistance will fight back with banana peels.

  6. Eh, juggling’s been a lot scarier than robots:

  7. Juggling? I’ll be impressed when a robot masters ventriloquism.

  8. Today it’s five balls.
    Tomorrow it’s five human heads.
    And Godbot wept…

  9. Juggling Robot? Call me when they’ve perfect the Juggalo Robot.

    • First of all, thanks for making me google image search Juggalo Robots. Because what I found is so much worse:

      I am not even about to explore the site where I found that, but if any of you feel like you have nothing left to live for, then by all means, go ahead.

  10. Wasn’t Angelo supposed to be our robot overlord?

  11. God I’m so hungover. Take me first, Juggalos. (What is happening.)

  12. My first thought was “This would be useful to teach me how to juggle”, and my second thought was “Teach me how to juggle / teach me teach me how to juggle”, which I guess shows you where my mind is at.

  13. Honestly, if robots can do this all day, I gladly welcome them taking over

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0GKIQdpscg

  14. Their increasing dexterity troubles me, but I think that a robot computer-based internet website may not be the best place to discuss plans of an counter-uprising, guys. Let’s take the fight to the fax lines, OK? Or maybe even lower tech… pigeons? Pigeons.

  15. At least it’s whisper quiet.

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