Ding ding dong ring-a-ding ding ding dong, keep your pogs ringing!

Wusssuuuuup pointers?! It’s cool beans to run with the IN crowd, but before you can be cool to other peeps you’ve got 2 b cool 2 yourself. Don’t do drugs. Playstation 3. To look good on the outside you’ve got to feel good on the inside. Earth Science. You also have to keep your body clean.

Once you feel cool on the inside (just remember, you are a special snowflake and your mom loves you very much) you can start to be very cool on the outside. With perfume. Perfume smells great, and it’s a great way to pretend you’re a real grown up lady with shoes. Maybe you are thinking, “Hey grandpa, I’m not putting no toilet water on my face like some old corpse.” Well what if it was JUSTIN BIEBER TOILET WATER? Now do I have your attention? Snap into a slim bottle of Someday!

If you ARE going to have sex with an imaginary Justin Bieber angel who came from your closet to whisk you into the satin-CGI clouds with the power of flight, use LOTS of protection and be married. (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (41)
  1. Justin Bieber makes the case for a reverse NC-17 rating.

  2. Chris Hanson photo.

  3. What’s in this stuff, REVOLVING DOOR PHEROMONES!?!?!

  4. I’ve always wanted to smell like a Canadian lesbian. This’ll be much easier than my usual practice of rubbing myself with maple syrup and Indigo Girls CDs.

    • The second sentence=hilarious!
      The first sentence… homophobic? Kind of insulting to lesbians, right?

      • Sincere question – Would “Canadian lesbian wannabe” have been better? Because I hear what you’re saying, but I can see that facetaco was riffing (LOL!) on the popular meme of lesbians who look like Justin Bieber, although maybe conversely that Justin Bieber looks like a lot of lesbians (at least according to the meme). So if it had been turned on its head so that Bieber is trying but failing to be a lesbian (being a wannabe), that seems like it would be better than now, where I think a part of the sentence is suggesting that being a lesbian is an insult.

        This might sound completely dumb, but it sounds like you have thoughts on the matter and I for one would like to hear them!

      • You forgot hockey! Therefore, it was discriminatory against Canadians AND lesbians.

  5. The music that starts this off led me to believe this was going to be a psychological thriller. Seeing an imaginary Bieber did nothing to dispel that notion. This commercial is actually about suicide. She’s killing herslef because an imaginary Justin Bieber is telling her to.

  6. I’m not saying shit until I talk to my lawyer.

  7. There are more cuts in that video than there are seconds.
    Attention span, schmention schman.

  8. I always had a sneaking suspicion that Justin Bieber was a little light in the loafers purple moon boots.

  9. HAHAHAHA I’m sorry! I love this! MOOOOMMMM I need this for tomorrow! I bet it smells like baby powder and RAZZLES! (So… like a stripper…)

  10. Holy Georgia O’Keefe, Batman. Check out that bottle!

  11. Okay, now I’ll take him seriously.

  12. Marg Helgenberger and the CSI crew aren’t buying

  13. Dang. Not available yet.

  14. Why does it say Never Let Go? I though we were suppose to Never Say Never?

  15. This looks like is was made from an old thrown out Britney Spears prefume ad.

  16. so lars von trier makes commercials now?

  17. Director: “We need some sort of lid for this perfume bottle.”

    Justin Bieber: “Here’s a toy I accidentally stepped on from the Happy Meal I ate on the way to the shoot.”

  18. Sorry guys, I’m sticking with Electric Youth.

  19. His new hair does nothing for his eyebrows. Whatwashethinking!

  20. I’m mostly just offended that the design of the bottle is clearly ripped off from Marc Jacobs Lola.

  21. This Justin Bieber perfume ad is disturbingly close to that SNL skit with Tina Fey. Seriously, how did the perfume company think this was not going to be creepy?

  22. I think we’ve all been hinting at it, but I’ll just say it: why does the bottle look like a ripe vagina? GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  23. Nice Goon Squad “pointers” reference.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.