Oh no! Genuinely! That is the second time I have written “oh no” today but the first time was a joke. Sad news (that is also the second time I have written “sad news” today, but let’s just put our Serious Hats on now) from TMZ.com. Professional wrestler Macho Man Randy Savage has died.

Florida Highway Patrol tells TMZ … Savage was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler when he veered across a concrete median … through oncoming traffic … and “collided head-on with a tree.”

Savage was transported to Largo Medical center, where he died from his injuries.

Jeez. He was only 58 years old. Sad emoticon. 5,000 Candles in the Wind. R.I.P. Macho Man Randy Savage. You are in heaven now, snapping into the angels.

Comments (52)
  1. Around 2:15 it gets all prescient

  2. I am sure he and Andre The Giant are wrestling the angels together by now

    • In the South of France, Samuel Beckett was neighbor to a young Andre the Giant. He drove him to school because Andre couldn’t fit in the seats of the local school bus.

      That is all.
      #whatafuckingmenschthoughright

  3. I, for one, will be snapping into a Slim Jim when I read the Monster’s Ball this evening. RIP, Macho Man. And tell Miss Elizabeth I said hi.

  4. Snapping into the Angels? Too Good, Too Good.

  5. As a friend pointed out, his retirement match against The Ultimate Warrior in Wrestlemania VII was the worst kind of bullshit. NO ONE CAN SURVIVE FIVE ELBOW DROPS!

  6. First Li’l Sebastian now Randy Savage…. I must find the strength, courage, hope to continue on in this cruel world (don’t for a second think I am being sarcastic).

  7. Burning question: Will Jake the Snake crash the funeral?

  8. RIP Macho Man. I’ll always remember you as made of rubber, with unbendable limbs.

    • The Macho Man wrestling doll always lent itself to quality elbow drops.

    • This just sent me in a sad nostalgia spiral. RIP, Randy Savage.

      • I, too, enter a sad nostalgia spiral when seeing such a wrestler action figure — plunging into so many memories of playing with wresting figures with no enthusiasm, knowing each wrestler only as an action figure, maybe immovable, maybe with a chopping action, pretending to find some excitement, as I was smart enough to understand the importance of fitting in even with things I loathed; and because at least one of my friends pretended to like Star Trek for me, so the least I could do was pretend to like wrestling.

        • Hear! Hear! I still have fond memories of having wrestling moves demonstrated… on me. I am a better person for knowing the difference between the full- and half-nelson. (I am not a better person for knowing the difference between the full- and half-nelson.)

  9. Your move, Kool-Aid man.

  10. So glad we know what year his Jeep Wrangler was made. That is definitely an important thing to report.

  11. Space Ghost will be so sad.

    • “Have you ever met Haystack Calhoun? He was a MOUNTAIN of a man! I sent him home to momma with a rollin’ DDT!”

      • Twenty years ago I would of put your head in a half nelson, twisted it around, saying each letter of the alphabet on every turn, and then when I reached the first letter of my true love’s name, it would be the lovely Elizabeth, I would yank your head clean off and roll it down the pike like a bowling ball!

  12. My condolences to Miss Elizabeth.

  13. The Slim Jim guy is beside himself.

  14. He was taken too soon; BONESAW WASN’T READY!!

  15. I like to image that all the Savages are related. They would have the best Thanksgivings ever!

    Dan Savage and Michael Savage fighting over the turkey leg while Adam Savage tried to build a potato catapult. Fred Savage pulls the hair of that little scamp Ben Savage with the Eurythmics playing in the background. All this presided over by grandfather Randy “Macho Man” Savage, who is not a ghost so it’d be haunted rather than presided over. Key distinction, that is.

  16. Today is a sad day for all things whose title includes the word “Macho.”

  17. “Be the first of your friends to like this”–HELL, NO, I DON’T LIKE THIS, FACEBOOK!

  18. I would just like to point out that the report says nothing about the current condition of the tree who was also injured in the accident.

  19. Shoulda been you, Ravishing Rick Rude.

    oh wait, it was. in 1999.


    never forget

  20. Well starting at 6 p.m. PST, the righteous will be joining him as the Rapture moves across the timezones. I know this because I read wikipedia.

  21. First Savage Garden breaks up, and now this…

  22. kanye loves the glasses.

  23. I wish I had his voice.

  24. He’s snapping into that big Slim Jim in the sky.

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