So it was announced this morning that the long-prayed-for 3D version James Cameron‘s Titanic will be released on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s maiden, or whatever, voyage: April 6th, 2012. “Oh no, but I already had 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s maiden or whatever voyage plans,” you’re probably thinking. Yeah, I KNOW. But I doubt anyone will show up to our Titanic Centennial parties now that this is coming out on the same day so I guess let’s just cancel our caterers and ice sculptors and nude draw-ers and start standing in line outside of our movie theaters. Ugh. This always happens when we plan a party to celebrate the 100th anniversary of something James Cameron made a movie about, doesn’t it?

Comments (48)
  1. “I’ll never let go.” – James Cameron

  2. I’ll be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s maiden voyage by watching my desk in 3D. “All this paperwork – it’s like I could reach out and touch it!”

  3. I have always thought Titanic need to look more like a diorama. 2D movies turned into 3D movies are the best.

  4. A 3D version of True Lies would be much more topical..

  5. Fortunately I never booked that ice sculptor for my party. The great thing about icebergs is that they have this great sort of DIY asthetic. All you need is a block of ice and an ice pick and voila! Instant movie villain! Or hero, depending on who you were rooting for.

  6. speaking of long-prayed-for 3D versions

  7. True story: when Titanic came out, I saw it with a friend and then she and I were discussing it at a diner. I said something like “So when the boat started sinking…” and a woman in the next booth said “THANKS FOR RUINING THE MOVIE…* JERK!”

    I thought she was kidding, but she was dead serious. So I said “Ma’am. I am so sorry if I ruined the movie for you, but it’s a historical fact that the Titanic sinks, It doesn’t ruin the plot of the movie. If I wanted to truly ruin the plot, I would have told you that Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end. Oops.”

    Ha ha! FLW proves a point to a stupid. However, by this time three or four other tables had started listening to our little tete-a-tete, so I inadvertently ruined the movie for a lot other people. How about you, dear reader? Did I ruin it for you?

    Fun times at Long Island diners.

    *She literally paused for about two full seconds before throwing the “Jerk” capper on the end of the sentence.

  8. In this version, the iceberg will be replaced by an oil derrick, most people will die because of the oil in the water rather than the cold, and Kathy Bates’s character will have all kinds of topical things to say about THAT.

  9. Titanic 3D–>$$$–>Unobtanium–>$$$–>Titanic 4D

  10. I will be celebrating the anniversary of the release of this movie by sitting alone in my room while all of my friends go on dates with GIRLS.

  11. “Said director James Cameron: ‘There’s a whole generation that’s never seen Titanic as it was meant to be seen, on the big screen.’”

    Translation: If you were born after 1997 or too young to see it then, I want to take your money now.

    Sad confession – I saw this 7 times in the movie theater. And owned the soundtrack. Sigh.

  12. This is about Starship Titanic, right? The cool video game and book created by Douglas Adams, released on the 11th anniversary of his death as an homage, right? Please? Please, universe?

  13. Oh, great. Celine Dion will probably be an internet trend when this thing comes out. THE ICEBERG WON, PEOPLE.

  14. Now we can all know what it’s really like to drown in icy waters, knowing the last words you heard were stupid shit written by James Cameron.

  15. JAMES CAMERON: I’ve had you guys on this for 10 years. You’re telling me there’s NO way to make a sequel?

    SCRIPTWRITER: Well, it was YOUR idea to sink the boat in the first one.

    JAMES CAMERON: It was a good idea! My good idea!

    SCRIPTWRITER: Yeah, but you practically imprisoned any possibility for a sequel at the bottom of the ocean! What do you want us to do? Re-release the boat or something?

    JAMES CAMERON: No, I pay you guys to – wait – what did you just say?

    SCRIPTWRITER: I just said, ‘what do you want us to do? Re-release the boat?’

    JAMES CAMERON: …

    SCRIPTWRITER: Sir?

    JAMES CAMERON: Genius! Pure genius!

    AAAAANNNND SCENE!

  16. Someone entered this is the #hollywoodpostitnote thread, right?

  17. Did anyone else think it was kinda weird that at the end after *SPOILER ALERT* the Titanic sinks and Rose dies that Heaven is like, the ship? And she walks in and has to go up the staircase and all of the dead people are there clapping? I mean, is this really what Heaven is like, James Cameron??

  18. Also, let’s be real, I may be having loads of fun making cracks about James Cameron for this, but I’m TOTALLY going to see it.

  19. Why limit yourself to one blockbuster release, James Cameron? One word: TITANITAR.

  20. True story when I got my girlfriend a 46 inch flat screen we totally rented Titanic on Blu-Ray and it was pretty rad.

  21. My Barf Will Go On

  22. Back when Titanic fever was sweeping the nation (the movie, not the actual event) I remember refusing to go see it, but I can’t for the life of me remember why. I finally saw it on TV in college years later and realized I’d been depriving myself of the part where the guy falls off the ship and hits a propeller on the way down.

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