What have you accomplished, I guess? What have I accomplished? What has anyone ever accomplished. Don Gorske has eaten 25,000 Big Macs and at least, when he is about to die which should reasonably be very soon but I guess might not actually be, and someone asks him what he has ever done, he will know exactly what to say: “I know the exact number of Big Macs I have eaten and I can tell you for a fact that it is over 25,000.”

So, congratulations on keeping perfect account of your Big Mac consumption, Don Gorske, and we hope you don’t stop keeping track now just because you’ve reached 25,000. Your job is not finished! Please eat all the rest of the Big Macs. (via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (48)
  1. If you look carefully at the end credits of Super Size Me, Don Gorske is credited as “Half-hearted attempt at balance”.

  2. I feel like this man belongs on the America brochure, we have brochures for immigrants so they know what America’s like right?

  3. Don Gorske is the Billy Mitchell of Big Macs. He’ll get to that kill screen soon enough.

  4. Somewhere, Stephen Hawking is resting his case.

  5. Ms. Gorske seems unclear on what “good weird” means.

  6. A running commentary of my mind through this video:
    8 seconds: Why hello, handsome guy with a penchant for tasty burgers
    10 seconds: NO WEDDING RING??!! BE STILL MY HEART
    15 seconds: Oh my LORD we are going to be so happy together this burger-loving stud and I – SO HAPPY
    18 seconds: Mrs. TheKelBurrows-Big Mac? Mrs. TheKelMac? Mrs. TheBigKelMacBurrows? Hell, it doesn’t really matter. We have our whole lives to figure that out.
    20 seconds: Wait! WHO IS THAT BITCH?!?!!
    24 seconds: He IS married??? GOD DAMN IT!!
    I turned off the video at that point. I hope I didn’t miss anything good at the end.

  7. Where are all the concern trolls at who think that anything short of making fat people want to kill themselves is “encouraging people to be unhealthy”? Look, a skinny dude encouraging people to be unhealthy! Yay! Give him prizes! Oh and to answer my own question, they’re busy shame-masturbating into big mac wrappers out of self hate.

  8. I can’t IMAGINE eating nine Big Macs a day.

  9. Cool hair. Very Moe Howard with mutton chops.

  10. If I knew we were keeping track of things like this, I would have logging the number of glasses of Franzia I have on a daily basis.

  11. “But that’s OK, it’s a good weird.”

    This was straight-up my face when she said that:

  12. “It was the best thing I had ever eaten, therefore I decided that I would continue to live the rest of my life never experimenting or trying to eat anything new, perfectly content to arrest the development of my palate at the ripe age of 17.”

  13. I feel like this guy has a receipt of every big mac he’s every purchased in a binder and will gladly sit you down and tell you grand tales of his memorable bic macs.

  14. Is that you John Lennon? Couldn’t keep out of the limelight could you? Yoko is going to be pissed.

  15. Also glad I can finally put a face to every person who writes reviews on yelp

  16. Hide yo’ McRibs, Hide yo’ fries…

  17. That motherfucker needs to learn how to cook.

  18. Won’t anybody think of the COWS????!!!!!!

  19. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  20. Good first post as Assoc. Editor, Kelly. If you’ll notice, I was the first to say so. Therefore, I should clearly be your favorite. Forever.

  21. Does he still have to pay for the Big Macs or are they free? Cause a calculation of how much money that is would probably make smokers feel pretty good about themselves. Since, you know, at least they’re addicted to the nicotine.

  22. “How in thee HELL is that man still standing?” -Good Ol’ J.R.

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