AFTER 9/11 (that’s right, that’s how this begins) there was a period of time when people wondered if they would ever laugh again. The overwhelmingly grim fact that American life had changed forever was painfully real. Of course, time heals all wounds, or whatever, and we did eventually find our way back to some semblance of normality. Similarly, in the tempered exuberance that followed the definitive end to the era of Osama Bin Laden a couple weeks ago, just a few months shy of the 10th anniversary of September 11th, we were constantly reminded that as relieved as many might feel by his death, one day, sooner rather than later, we would be reminded that the world was still filled with danger and tragedy. Today is that day.

The Zookeeper! Barfing soon to a theater near barf!

Comments (73)
  1. “This looks like a dull, sappy comedy.” – me, for the first 54 seconds

    “_” – me, for the rest of that trailer

  2. This all I have to say:

  3. HAHAHAHA FAT MAN FALL DOWN GO BOOM!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO TALKING MONKEYS?!?!?!?!? GIVE ME ALL THE FANDANGOS!!!!!!!

  4. “You know what, we need to bring more unlikable, unfunny people into this picture!”
    “I hear Joe Rogan may be available.”
    “SOLD”

    - Somewhere in Hollywood about 18-months ago working on this barf-o-rama

  5. “Is T.G.I. Friday’s as incredible as it looks?”
    “It’s pretty good.”

    *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG click click click click* THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH BULLETS IN THIS GUN.

  6. Of course Nick Nolte is a talking gorilla because….. ya know what? I don’t even know anymore.

  7. I am utterly disgusted with the lack of farts in this trailer.

    I mean, people fart. It’s just something they do. Why wouldn’t they make jokes about that?

  8. This reminds me of how smart Ben Stiller is because this movie would fit EXACTLY in to the opening trailers of Tropic Thunder.

  9. Does this movie have no respect for realism?! I mean, Paul Blart went to college and trained to be a zookeeper, he can’t just change jobs and fancy sell cars!!! It’s totally unrealistic!!

    …also, the animals talk and teach him about love, I guess?

  10. does anybody else think it’s really funny when kevin james’ body hits something really hard and then he falls down or breaks something?

  11. crickets are going to love this!

  12. also, unfair advantage for anybody from queens when talking to animals. they’re used to it.

  13. So this is just an adaptation of the song “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid?

  14. Why would they ever greenlight a movie with TWO talking apes in it?

  15. This looks like Dr. Doo-as-Little-as-you-can-to-come-up-with-an-original-idea

  16. I’m convinced that one lucky amateur filmmaker captured a real monkey facepalm once on camera and now editors everywhere like to have a little bit of fun by subtly cutting that footage into as many different movie trailers as they can ala Wilhelm Scream.

  17. Definitely gonna watch this when I have a hangover. 100% sure that is going to happen.

  18. If animals could actually share their romantic advice, I’m pretty sure it would consist of “try to fuck everything.”

  19. I’ve never seen Ermanno Olmi’s I Fidanzati but isn’t this just that only with talking animals and comic violence and farting and laziness and scorn for the viewer?

  20. Go lay down Kevin James. You have already made enough money “pretending” to be a doofus who inexplicably has a mega hot wife

  21. Rob Schneider just fired his agent.

  22. So who thinks we should call the apocalypse early? Or at least the death of the arts? Maybe the radio people were right, and it is the 21st of May this year. Do we get cannibalism and nuclear winters or constant robot warfare though — that’s the next big question.

  23. Brides getting knocked down by things make me laugh. Except when those things are Kevin James.

  24. “Money well spent.” – T.G.I. Friday’s product placement department.

  25. Why have you sullied the Talking Heads? That’s the real crime here.

  26. That’s weird. For some reason my computer showed me the 3-hour version of that trailer. Did anyone else feel like they were watching that trailer for 3 hours?

    The hell of it is, Rosario Dawson was the reason I watched, and she was just there to make one face for 0.009 seconds. But that is kind of in keeping with how Hollywood uses her in everything, so…

  27. Is it me or did the movie seem a little pretentious?

  28. So basically this is just like the X-Men origin story for this guy, right?

    Fortunately, these guys are on the case.

  29. Also, who would rather date a gross and slimy car salesman when they could date someone who went has an advanced biology degree and works with animals?
    Perhaps she prefers the scent of Axe body spray to the smell of elephant dung (haha just kidding no one does, elephant dung is better).

    • Yeah, before I managed any other coherent reaction to this trailer, my issue was “Uh, who would want to date someone who wouldn’t want to date a zookeeper?” I’m asking my girlfriend if she’d ever date a zookeeper and if she says no, we’re done.

  30. It is nice to see Aslan still getting work.

  31. You find out animals can talk and you’re only going to use that to get their zany ideas on how to pick up women????

  32. I for one can’t wait to see what happens when that gorilla goes into that T.G.I. Friday’s. I hope he asks to see a wine list.

  33. I wonder if he’ll ever figure out that Rosario Dawson is the right one for him instead of chasing after that frigid white woman that broke his heart.

  34. Also, what asshole movie for assholes would be complete without Jon Favreau?

  35. “Of Course I am in this.” -Ken Jeong

  36. This movie is going to be number 1 at the box office for a million weeks.

  37. I’m waiting for the ABC Family World Premiere of this, which according to their recent premiere, Jurassic Park, I’ll only have to wait like 18 years.

  38. I think I know everything I need to know about this movie, and the world in general, from the still shot that appears before one hits play on the video (dumb person alert – what are those called? Thumbnails? That doesn’t seem right, they are too big).

    Chubby guy scolding a gorilla in a too small t-shirt.

    Sums it up.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.