Okay, so sometimes witnessing the innocence of childhood fills you with yearning, and sometimes…
(Note: the relevant portion of this video ends at 2:40)
Yin and yang or something like that.
Thanks for the tip, [Not Actually] Betty White, tyrannosaurus sex, and Carla!
“[Not Actually] Betty White” is my friend, I know him IRL! He thinks Gabe put this up and parsed his name correctly! Let’s not tell him the truth!
Ya know, my beard in high school WAS an evil brunette…Santana?!
I was about to say you just let the cat out of the bag, but if he hasn’t picked up on the guest bloggers yet, I think we can safely discuss this openly without fear of being caught.
Your taco is smiling!
Yet when I take off all my clothes and pick up dead squirrels I’m a weirdo, double standards amirite
Person With Video Camera Stands Idly By As Little Girl Plays With Dead Squirrel
Duh Affciando Magazine: Child PRotective Services Takes Child, Puts Her In Home That Does Not Allow Children To Flirt With The Possibility Of Rabies
Can’t get rabies from a dead animal because they have to bite you. I guess if you like dripped it’s fluids into an open wound….Buut! You could get the plague through its fleas, which would be on the lookout for a new warm body to emigrate to; also ticks. Any whatever other icky bacteria they have on them. Fortunately, this one was freshly dead and none of the really nasty stuff, like anthrax, would have started to grow. Rigor mortis hadn’t even set in yet!
I am both intrigued and concerned by your knowledge of dead squirrels
As bizarre as that is, it actually pales in comparison to his/her (?) knowledge of dog asses and walrus boners:
Folks, I think we found our next guest blogger!
I’m a biologist.
A BONER biologist? With a secondary focus in ASSES? You are like the Fear Factor of scientists.
I like how the cartoon said you could learn how to express* the glands at home. Um… no. I’m okay paying the vet to do that. My dog fired ass juice three feet out. Also, he looks sad afterwards.
*express meaning sticking your finger up its ass and squeezing
I know this is from yesterday’s post, but I want someone to have to read this.
It’s a good thing children don’t often put their hands in their mouths without washing them.
SUGAR BUSH SQUIRREL!!
I’m happy to see I’m not the only who regularly Flirts with Rabies. He’s a nice guy, amirite?
Behold, the dangers of children playing with stuffies.
Finally, another excuse to post the marvelous adventures of Sugar Bush Squirrel, International Superstar!
And in an incredibly tasteless way!
T-sex, you never need an excuse to post Sugar Bush Squirrel.
Do I need an excuse to post a Christmas Anteater? Technically a Southern Tamandua, but it doesn’t matter.
It’s like, I’m laughing? But, with a grimace? A grimace chuckle?
I’m so confused. Somebody explain how I should feel here.
It’s called a grumckle. This guy knows what you’s talking about:
If you’re going to resort to deleted scenes of the movie Gummo for your content today, Godsauce, I’m just going to go ahead and take my business elsewhere.
This easily wins my Biggest Cute Kid to Bad Parent Ratio Award of the week. Congrats creepy camera guy.
They are bad parents and bad editors. The last five minutes was just the dog pooping in the back yard! I was waiting for more premium dead squirrel content. Very anti-climactic ending.
I should have mentioned.
No! You are not to blame. I chose to watch every second.
Seems pretty clear that parents in this country are way more concerned about their kids kissing adorably than with rubbing dead rodents on their faces.
Is anyone else excited for the little girl/yogurt cup mash up video? I’m really excited. Wait…that doesn’t sound right…
I like this girl, she is funny and cool.
Can someone explain to me why eega isn’t a guest blogger this week?
i do what i want
Yeah, see! This! This is how I felt!
Future Yogurt Cup Manufacturers of America.
I’m pretty sure this girl is all cute and stuff in the public eye, but that little terror most definitely broke that squirrel’s neck to play with it. No, you may not call me crazy.
Video title: “How to lose your daughter in 10 Days”
In related news
I can only imagine what Chareth Cutestory must be feeling about this.
thankfully nothing anymore. *sob* she’s in a better place.
I did not make it through the whole thing. It seemed so long and weird and *intimate*, and not funny like the dad clearly thought it would be. The woman stage whispering ‘no, Sean, FUCK’ around 1:07, what? Get some editing software, you affluent little attractive and slightly awkward family with your lovely back yard!! I felt like I was watching a private home movie and shouldn’t be. I have a feeling they will wish they did not put this on the internet. I feel like maybe they have important jobs and maybe their co workers will feel funny about their so free little girl fondling dead animals? Not that there is any thing wrong with that! I just want to close the drapes of the internet so they can be alone and won’t be misunderstood or juged or watched any more.
sorry Ms. bk you already addressed the editing issue. I did not hit refresh and now I must live with the shame of plagiarism.
Right, I watched the whole thing because I thought there would be some sort of ‘revenge of the dead squirrel’ type of resolution. But then I realized I was just watching the intimate moments of a strange young family and I remembered that the internet is weird sometimes.
I feel like I should apologize for this, but I just won’t. Look at her delight! Look at how its limp little body flops around!
This is the life that we chose.
so cute. She was going to get a bath right after anyway, let her play with it. Just don’t eat anything that you found already dead. Oh, no one was going to eat it?
GO TO JAIL.
But no one ever thinks of the families of the deceased !
Look at this stupid chipmunk, it thinks it’s a squirrel:
Oh crap. This is not cute. The squirrel was all limp, and flopping around, and dead. They should have calmly, and immediately, told her to put it down. Aghh… Nobody should play with corpses, except maybe Tim Burton.
I watched this without sound, and did not like it at all. Plus, did anyone notice the video recorder zoom into that lady’s breasts? Yes, I notice these things.
I noticed it too! Hehehe.
This is amazing. Keep calm and carry on.
can’t wait for the sequel where she’s carries around dead Ivy.
Greyhound 1; Squirrel 0. Score another one for team dog.
Not pictured: the fight between mom and dad about dad’s decision to video tape what would many years later be recounted as “the incident.”
What happens when she finds out he put it on Youtube? I … have a funny feeling that Mom DOES NOT know about that.
Every household needs one of these:
Future Goth chick.
You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.