bristol_palin_0507

Ooooh, I’m too young for this. From The New York Times.

Following in her mother’s footsteps, Bristol Palin is going to star in her own reality television show.
The untitled show has been ordered by the small cable channel BIO, formerly The Biography Channel. The channel says it will follow Ms. Palin, the eldest daughter of the former Alaska governor and TLC reality show star Sarah Palin, as she moves with her 2-year-old son to Los Angeles from Wasilla, Alaska, and works at a charity.

“Untitled?” UNTITLED?! Look, I know that names for reality television shows about the inexplicably famous offspring of an inexplicably popular politician who is for some reason taken seriously in this country don’t exactly grow on trees. But if you have time to sign a contract, you have time to think of a name. And if the LAMESTREAM media can’t do it, we’ll just have to stand in that gap. It can’t be that hard. We just need a few more details to make sure we get that name juuuuuuuust right. For example, will, say, any of her fellow contestants on Dancing with the Stars be on the show with her? Let’s find out!

The show will also feature two of her friends, Kyle and Christopher Massey. Ms. Palin was a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars” with Kyle Massey, an actor, last year, and since then the three have become “best friends,” according to the channel, so much so that she will live with them in L.A.

Perfect. “…‘best friends,’ according to the channel.” I wish I could have been there for that scoop. “Now, Ms. Palin, I know you became friends with Kyle Massey. But would you say you became best friends? I’m just not comfortable having you move to Los Angeles with someone who isn’t absolutely your very best friend.” Also, this.

In a news release Bio describes Ms. Palin, 20, as “the most famous single mother in America.”

Good grief. There’s a quote for the tombstone. You know, I used to have sort of a soft spot for Bristol Palin. For all I knew, she was as embarrassed by her mother’s nonsensical ramblings as anyone. Even the Dancing With the Stars gig might have been excusable because, whatever, we all have to put shells in the shotgun. But once you start cashing in on your single parenthood and your child and your “best friend” by milking all of them to breathe some half-life into the feeblest of celebrity statuses and maybe keep those Palin 2012 hopes (nightmares?) alive, well, that soft spot turns to COLDEST ICE. Whoof. Yuck, yuck, yuckers.

But that’s all outside of our control. We can’t do much, so we should stick to what we can do. And what we can do is NAME BRISTOL PALIN’S REALITY TELEVISION SHOW. What will it be, guys?

Via The New York Times

Comments (67)
  1. My Mom’s A Really Stupid Attention-Whore; and, I Learned Everything From Her!

  2. “Bringing up Barfs”

  3. Cancelled.

  4. Teen Mom

  5. Cultural Detritus: The Show

  6. The Paul Reiser Show

  7. Three Idiots and a Baby

  8. The Hills with a Toddler!

  9. Thirtysomething Minutes of Garbage

  10. The most famous single-mother in America? That bitch! – Murphy Brown

  11. Keeping Up With The Kardashians In Terms Of How Many Unnecessary Reality Shows One Family Can Have

  12. Northern Overexposure

  13. Celebrity Rehab: The Prequel

  14. Family Matters

  15. America’s Got Talent (No, Not Really)

  16. Palin Comparison?

  17. Bristolplasty!

  18. I’m a Celebrity… Get me Out of Alaska!

  19. Palin’ Around

  20. My posts are being eaten!!! Apologies if this show up more than once:

    “How To Make It In America”

  21. “The Beverly Wasillabillies”

  22. Bristol Knows Zilch

  23. Me & My Little Paycheck

  24. Bristol Grizzly’s Mother Hood

  25. Rock of Love with Bret Michaels

  26. “Who Wants to be a Single-Mom Millionaire?”

  27. You’d Rather Watch That Weird Cable Channel In Which Rings Rotate Around On A Lazy Susan Than This

  28. “Nailin’ Palin”

    Oh wait that one already came out.

  29. “Pushing the Envelope: Is There Anything This Family can do to Destroy its Credibility?”

  30. That’s So Palin

  31. Dumpy With No Charisma and the City

  32. How to succeed in politics without really trying

  33. This Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

  34. If she thinks this could lead to a political office and maybe a vice-presidential candidacy, she has her career path completely backwards.

    Um… Moving In With The Stars?

  35. Bristol Palin’s Birth Cannon

  36. Fuck Everything.

    • Sorry, I should clarify- that’s less a “title” and more “what I immediately thought upon hearing that Bristol Palin is getting a reality show”

  37. Whoreders

  38. BOHICA Baby: Bend Over Here It Comes Again, Starring Bristol Palin

  39. Levi to Beaver (My baby’s father is Levi Johnston and I look like a beaver and I’m from Alaska which has beavers I think? Who cares what the title is no one is going to watch this. I’m surprised you’re still even reading this title, which I know, is like, wayyy too long.): The Series

  40. I hear that MTV is simultaneously shooting a new reality series called “House Guests From Hell.”

    (That doesn’t already exist, right?)

  41. Escape from Witch Mountain

  42. The BP (baby)oil spill

  43. “We all have to put shells in the shotgun” is a beautiful bit of language.

  44. Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?

  45. Abortion Sauce

  46. L.A. Opposite of Confidential

  47. Who Do I Think I Am?

  48. Palingroans.

    Growing Pa(l)ins?

  49. “Why I Canceled My Cable Subscription”

  50. Bristol Can Do It! (But YOU Really Shouldn’t)

    from BIO, the mixed-messages network.

  51. “Saved By The Bell: The Community College Years”

  52. Night Court

  53. Bringing up Baby Palin

    Breaking Bristol

  54. Bristol Palin’s Whorelaska

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