Photos
Expectation 2 – I am extremely nervous and tend to embarrass easily, so try not to make too much fun of me. If you make fun of me and I cry, I will take a picture of myself crying and post it on here along with a screen grab of the comment that made me cry just to make you uncomfortable. And probably I’ll also hire one of those planes that drags a banner behind it at the beach that has your comment and then “This turd-hole made Superglue cry. Shame!!!” on it so that all the kids who are at Beach Week after graduation will know how mean you were to me.
Expectation 3 – My syntax is, at times, unconventional. I tend to just write words in the order they come out of my brain, which could occasionally be deemed “the wrong order.” You’re just going to have to get used to it.
Expectation 4 – I am not sophisticated. At all. My sense of humor is very bodily function-centric. If you have an animal fart related tip to send in, TODAY IS THE DAY. I’d also accept a tasteful human fart video, like if there’s a video of a baby scaring himself with his own farts or something, that could be kind of fun. So I guess if you’ve just been sitting on some juicy fart videos, it’s time to get up off them.
Expectation 5 – This will be fun! I am super thrilled to be here on this week of Monster All Stars and I am totally ready to go. I kind of feel like the Make A Wish kid who wished really hard to get invited to blog and it came true! Miracles all up in this bitch.
If after today you’re not totally sick of me, feel free to follow my very spotty twitter. I also occasionally write for MOBFD (the Monster spin-off blog, which all of you should be reading), so if you’re craving, come on over there. But for now, let’s get right into it! To the animal fart-mobile!
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Woo hoo! They don’t call her SUPERglue because she’s mediocre, y’all.
I really want to make a pun about how I am stuck on superglue, but it isn’t working. Just know I tried.
I similarly tried to make a pun about horses and Superglue. We failed together, Tiny Robert.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Related: Today is not Pony Day pt. 2.
GOT IT! Everyone ignore my previous comment and continue reading, please.
I liked Superglue a lot better under her previous name, Horse.
Don’t you mean SUPERhorse? Sorry to be to picky but that seemed pretty obvious to me.
I’m home sick today, which sucks because I’m sick. But that also means I’m home for Superglue day, which is great because it’s Superglue day. All in all, not bad. Bring on the farts.
Also, I have plenty of farts over here should you need any extra.
Please incorporate the phrase “hang loose” every chance you get today.
Perhaps this picture can aptly express how excited I am for today’s guest blogger:
Juicy farts are the worst kind of farts (but the best videos maybe? probably not)
How did I not know about MOBFD? It’s gold! GOLD.
Woo hoo! Glue you are going to kill today!
Enjoy the day, Supes. Because come tomorrow, you’ll just be looking wistfully over your old posts, remembering the one day where you were a god amongst monsters.
This would be a great day to post about last summer’s hit movie, Fart Fart Barf.
I wrote Fart Fart Barf as a sequel to I Know What I Did Last Summer.
I know you did, because you are a stone cold fart-barfing genius.
This is for you, homie!
This so perfectly sums up our relationship. I’m glad you’re stalking me.
Oh man glue. I haven’t been on here in a while but I had to give you a GREAT JOB!