It’s getting harder and harder for kids these days to dance to Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied” in a gym or cafeteria without Beyonce herself showing up. Whoops, sorry. The way that’s written, it kind of sounds like I’m talking about a problem. No. NOT A PROBLEM. The best!

Oh, Beyonce. You are going to give all these obese kids a heart attack and then who will teach them to eat/dance healthy?! (Via Vulture.)

Comments (61)
  1. McGruff the Crime Dog visited my elementary school.

  2. Unfortunately Beyonce did not get the memo about the proper dress code for this school dance and no one let her sit at their table

  3. The most amazing thing about this is that she does that dance in those heels. Good Lord.

  4. It makes sense she’d show up there. Two former members of Destiny’s Child were substituting that day.

  5. I give it three weeks before Gwyneth Paltrow starts showing up at children’s line dancing sessions to a smattering of applause followed by an awkward silence.

    • Who wants macrobiotic granola snacks? Anyone? Really? No One? I made all this food, and by I mean I made I mean my chef made of course

    • “After you’re finished dancing, I suggest you enjoy a shot of this amazing juice made out of wheat grass, beets, gold leaf, and camel urine. I swear, it changed my life.” — Gwyneth Paltrow, probably

    • you kids need any Georgian style bathtubs?

  6. “That was really fun kids, but I’m going to have to confiscate everyone’s cellphones and cameras now.” -Ms. Beyoncé Knowles

  7. Meanwhile, Jay-Z is also crusading against childhood obesity with his new song, “I Got 99 Problems but a Sandwich Ain’t 1.”

  8. There will come a day in America’s future where the only educators left in the country are James Franco and Ms Beyonce Knowles.

    • And no one will ever get any work done because let’s face it if you don’t have a crush on Beyonce and/or James Franco then you don’t have a crush on anybody

  9. On a serious note, is it just me, or is the world being sort of awesome lately? I’m worried about us you guys.

    • we haven’t even had any awful tea party news. The worst is what, Donald Trump is a grumpy old man? I can live with that.

      • Nah, the worst is those guys claiming that we have torture to thank for the takedown of OBL. Which we obviously do not, I mean hello logic. (To wit: If torture gave us this valuable intel, we might have capitalized on it, oh, I don’t know, some time remotely closer to when we were torturing people?) So anyway, don’t worry, the world still sucks. You’re welcome.

    • It’s the calm before the 2012 storm.

    • Videogum was hacked last night. That was pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen.

    • I know it’s all VideogumUSA around here most of the time, but Canada just had a super cruddy election where a crazy asshole got re-elected.

      I hope that makes you feel better!!

      • BUTBUTBUT the NDP got the most seats ever, and are about the best opposition you can hope to have against a Conservative majority (the Libs have moved waaaaaaay right in the last couple of years, thanks in part to the minority government).
        We worked crazy hard in my riding, and got our NDP MLA re-elected by more than 6,000 vote more than in ’08. And Harper poured tons of resources into this riding.
        SO! It’s not all terrible!!!


  10. Let’s her get that reaction on a New York subway ride.

  11. It cut away right before the janitor threw her an alley-oop and she dunked on like six fat kids.

  12. “NO STREET SHOES ON THE GYM FLOOR!” – what my old gym teacher would have screamed at Beyonce, probably

    But seriously, this is mega awesome. Life needs more choreographed dance numbers with lots of participants and special guest stars.


  14. Did you guys see Michelle Obama doing the Dougie?

  15. When will Kathie Lee Gifford’s dance be incorporated into school exercise programs? Whenever it is, can someone let me know so I can homeschool my kids during that time?

  16. This kind of stuff used to happen all the time in my high school. Of course, back in my day, it was Aretha Franklin instead of Beyonce, and instead of dancing and clapping, she’d just cut in line in the cafeteria and eat all the mashed potatoes.

  17. For the record, kind of a dick move to give all these gals image problems by calling them all obese. I mean, they are 14, they don’t look that terrible but definitely not obese.

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