Well, little girls, I guess this is it! I’ve gotten in trouble for saying this before, but I don’t like the Harry Potter movies that much. DEAL WITH IT DOT GIF. They just seem like rather bloodless translations of the books with enough CGI to choke a sniggling pumpersquatch (or whatever). It’s also hard for me to get particularly lost in a sweeping, epic drama when I know exactly how it all turns out in the end. It’s kind of like Tom Cruise’s Valkyrie but with more wizards. And if you want to REALLY get into it, I don’t actually like the BOOKS that much past the fifth one. The fourth and fifth books are nicely dark and creepy and interesting, but after that everything gets kind of muddled. By the seventh book, the world that J.K. Rowling has created is splitting at the seams. (Are we really supposed to believe that there is an entire other planet’s worth of wizards but only six of them ever do anything of any importance?) But obviously, a lot of people are into this stuff. (Hahah, funniest thing I have ever said.) And this movie looks fine! Very exciting, I’m sure. I do like the part when Harry Potter hugs that old gypsie and they jump into the quarry! How excited is everyone, show of hands? OK, now, everyone else look around you: see the hands? THOSE ARE NERDS. #Gotcha.

Comments (97)
  1. Got chills! Can’t wait! #nerdalert!

    • Word. Plus, when it comes out on DVD, I fully plan on spending a weekend watching all 8 movies in a row, (drinking butter beer, if I can get my hands on some.) Accio Fun!

      • I worked at Universal Studios for a summer one time when I hated myself and they let us try butterbeer before anyone else. And it was the worst experience of my life.

        Imagine, if you will, something so delicious that you cannot even take a breath’s-length moment to cry the blissful tears of serenity you rightfully deserve to release at this juncture in your life, because before you can open your mouth to pray you are immediately bitchslapped with the existential realization that nothing will ever taste as good as butterbeer. You will spend the rest of your life in vain trying to find something better, KNOWING IN YOUR HEART that your quest is futile, but still you are unable to let go of the primal urge to trump this moment one day. For what is life if butterbeer is the pinnacle? You can intellectualize it, but you cannot accept it. You cannot accept it.

        tl;dr Butterbeer is REALLY good, I had it once!

    • I’m GEEKING out over here, silently freaking at my work desk! Cannot WAIT!!! Accio July 15!

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  2. Did anyone else notice that Voldemort screams the exact same way like 10 times during this trailer? Is that “naaa-ooooooohhhh” noise like his catchphrase now?

  3. I’m a big fan of books 1-4 (5 was a little too teen-angsty for me and I agree with Gabe on 6 and 7) but I’ve at least read them all. Still, the past few trailers for the past few movies are just confusing. Has my memory lapsed or are things happening that just never happened in the books?

    • Word. That whole gypsy trust fall thing doesn’t ring a bell.

      • OMG Book 6 is my favorite. I do agree that the movie kind of messed up some of the best parts of HBP though. But I thought HP7.1 the movie redeemed itself, cinematically speaking.

        OMG I’m just so excited right now. Can’t help it. Jazz hands!

        • 7.1 the book is, honestly, a bit boring, what with all the tromping around the woods for ever. The movie is more interesting simply by virtue of the fact that you can see them doing it (and Nick Cave). I did miss Lee Jordan’s radio broadcasts, though.

          Boy, do Iove Harry Potter. It took me until my boyfriend wanted to see them to care one bit for the movies, but after watching them all in the span of a couple months, I’m glad I did. That little Radcliffe boy is a good actor.

      • I read book seven again recently(because I’m an adult and I can read what I want), and that is definitely not in there.

      • Everything involving Harry and Voldey in the trailer either doesn’t happen or is wayyyyy different, which is why I’ve never been a huge fan of the movies. Although I did like the last one!

  4. at the start I thought this was a prank and it was a trailer for Lovely Bones 2: Even Lovelier.

  5. I wish this movie was released this weekend so I can do a study on who gives a shit about Harry Potter in comparison to who gives a shit about royal weddings. Scientific stuff here.

  6. I drink your Butterbeer. I drink it all up.
    #harrypotterizedmovielines, anyone?

  7. I will be in Spain for the entire month of July, and will not get to be in the theatre opening night, as I usually am. I want so badly to complain about that…but I’ll be in Spain. So I don’t feel like I can complain. Maybe Teacherman can take his computer to the movie and show it to me via Skype.

  8. I’m not even ashamed to say that I cried when they showed Ron crying over Fred’s body

  9. Winter is coming?

    • Do you think Gryffindor will join the Usurper Hugglepuff king when the Slytherin Dragon King returns to take back his thrown? I think the bastard and the mudblood will play a pretty important roles maybe they will rally the Children of the Forbidden Forest. Lets hope the ice wall can hold of the Dementors! CAN’T WAIT!!!!

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  11. I looked through the linked comments too, and it’s sort of blowing my mind a little how many people love this. I always felt a little (completely undeserved, admittedly) backlash towards the books, because, you know, people have been writing good kid’s books for decades, so what makes JK Rowling so special just because she figured out how to rip off Roald Dahl and not get sued?

    But of course they’re kids books and who cares and I got over it. And since I wasn’t invested in the books, I watched the first few movies sort of eagerly because a) I didn’t know what happened in them, and b) fun fantasy series of movies! Why not?

    And I came out of them feeling much as Gabe does in this post – like, what? They’re dull and lifeless and poorly plotted and nearly free of any real sense of adventure and they have WAY too many child actors who aren’t particularly good at their jobs and… whatever. My biggest complaint as a complete non-fan is the extent to which Harry is a total cipher that I find it nearly impossible to care about. Through the first three movies at least, he doesn’t DO anything – stuff happens to him and he almost gets killed and someone saves him. Whatever.

    So bring on the downvotes, I guess.

    • Nope, too easy. Next time, try a strongly-worded defense of bullying. Now that will get you downvotes. (cc: facetaco)

    • “I don’t like things that lots of people like.” – Brave Internet Commentator

      • I upvoted your comment, for bravery.

        • haha – fair enough. But I’m really not trolling or disliking just to be Winwood or whatever. Bob’s Burgers is great! Arrested Development is the best show ever! The Office is pretty funny sometimes although it used to be much better! Christopher Guest makes really funny movies! Etc.!

          I have nothing against populist opinions – just wasn’t able to get on board with this one.

          • I’m with you, limesix. I really tried to like them when my friends pushed them on me, but I only got through the first one and one movie. It just kept making me wish I were reading Susan Cooper again as a kid. Those books were terrifying and awesome.

            Maybe it’s because I teach college literature and, when I ask my English majors (ENGLISH MAJORS) who their favorite author is and they say Rowling, I get bored. I die of boredom every time. I am a ghost a thousand times over now. Because liking Rowling doesn’t mean they’re curious about gothic literature or mythic children’s lit or even fucking fantasy novels; they just like Harry Potter.

            Maybe it’s also because whenever I spot a sexy dude with a big fat book on the subway and I’m all wondering what his deal is (Pynchon? Wallace? Fielding? George Eliot?), maybe I could hit that, he’ll turn a bit and I’ll see it’s fucking Harry Potter. Lady-boner-killer.

    • For the record, it’s Diana Wynne Jones she rips off more than Roald Dahl.

      • Also for the record, I don’t think JK Rowling ripped off Diana Wynne Jones. Just saying, if you go down that route, I think it’s a little more apt.

        • Agreed – like I said, I was being unfair in my backlash. I read the first part of the first book and it had a very James and the Giant Peach kind of feel. Obviously there’s a lot more to it than that.

      • Oh my god thank you for the Diana Wynne Jones shout out. I swear I am the only person I know who has read any of her books (and after wikipedia-ing her I apparently need to read more). Also here is a good time to admit to my Dalemark Quartet related AOL screen name.

    • I don’t understand how people can disassociate the images in these movies from what they read in the books. You basically have to picture each character and monster or whatever as what they came up with for the movie. Having seen a couple in this series, I would think (hope) that the books are far more affecting. So why even see the movies? To see stuff from the book brought to CGI life? That seems so boring!

    • limesix – totally! I started the series a few months ago and am on book 5 and really can’t imagine going any further. It’s repetitive, boring, and I find myself wishing Hermione was the main character. Harry seems bullheaded and constantly surprised by his world. Um? There’s magic and wizards everywhere, and he’s always exclaiming, “I can’t believe it!” Also, if they can turn back time in one book to save someone’s life, why can’t they do it every time? Blerg. I’m going back to the Dark Tower series!

      • For the last time, the time turners were all destroyed during the fight at the ministry! I mean, I guess that was a while after they were introduced, not to mention all of the time before that, but…um…you can’t just go mess with time all the time, ok? It’s only for incredibly important things, like taking all of the classes.

    • I think there is a certain degree of nostalgia to a lot of the love for it, but I don’t think that makes it invalid. I got the first three books slightly in advance of my sixth birthday. I loved them — loved them — more than anything else that had existed in my life up to that point, pretty much. Now, I recognize that JK Rowling is not a particularly good writer! But it’s still something that’s been in my life for this long, and that’s affected and changed me in a lot of ways, and thus it continues to have value for me. When the last movie comes out, it will have been almost twelve years since I first got the books. Twelve years. The only things that have been part of my life for longer than that are my family and Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. I’ve never even lived anywhere longer than five years. So yeah, the movies are often pretty terrible, and I can understand you not liking them! I will forever resent Emma Watson’s eyebrows and their regular placement in these movies. But those of us who do love them tend to have good reason, even when they’re less than quality.

      So now I’m going to go watch that fanvid to We’re Marching On and cry some more. /nerd

    • I think the problem here, limesix, is that you are judging the whole thing having not read past the first book and only watching the first few movies. The first few movies were total crap! The actors had not yet learned how to act and they made changes to the books for the movies that were stupid and didn’t add anything. The movies are much better now. The actors are good and the movies are more focused now that they have a consistent director. The books are also much more complex than I think many people give them credit for. I think the great thing about the books is that they grow with kids. The books start of shorter and more simplistic and less scary and generally grow in complexity as time goes by. For me, it was perfect because I read the first books at a younger age and finished the series in college.

  12. My three sons and I have been reading the whole series every night for the past year, and we’re halfway through book seven. My rule to them is: we finish a book, and THEN they can watch the movie version. Looks like we’ll finish book seven with plenty of time for them to see the last movie in the theater, and that is SO making my day right now.

  13. Did anyone else think that the first Dealthy Hallows movie was really good? I mean like actual good movie. I thought it was the best movie of all the Harry Potter movies. They did a really good job of expressing this exestential crisis that Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are go through when they have doubt, uncertainty, and confusion of their purpose in the face of the doom. The scene with Harry and Hermoine dancing to the Nick Cave song was incredible.

    • I totally agree. I thought it was really well done.

    • I concur!!!! (obvs, lol) Yates and the movie team take some liberties sometimes, but I feel for the most part they always just enhance or help illustrate visually what the books tell verbally. (the Harry/Hermione dance is a perfect example of this.) I think the last 3 films have done an excellent job of showing the trajectory of the Harry/Hermione relationship (best friends), the Harry/Ron relationship (best friends) and the Hermione/Ron relationship (love) and the relationship of all 3 as a group. I’m always excited to see not only how they will bring the books to life, but also how they will interpret/enhance/explore them onscreen.

      #communicationsnerdhijackingpostover

    • I’m with you, jwormyk. I went with my friends to see Deathly Hallows pt. 1 even though I hadn’t seen movies 5 or 6, because why not?, and I really really really loved it. The Tale of the Three Brothers animation sequence! The dancing scene! Malfoy Manor! Rupert Grint’s acting! I was really surprised by how much I loved it.

      A week later, I started reading the series and finished within a month. And now I’m obsessed and going to a midnight screening for part two. YAY!

      • The Three Brothers animation scene was really something special. Ron Weasley is my favorite character in the book and I really like how Rupert Grint portrayed the character’s struggle with insecurity/ loss of faith and redemption.

  14. I love Harry Potter!

  15. All right. I got excited… BUT BEGRUDGINGLY. The last movie was definitely better then a lot of the previous ones (Though Prisoner of Azkaban might be my favorite.) …BUT I don’t like how they are bringing in characters whose stories they completely left out just to kill them off. Dobby, anyone? and Oh, right! Let’s make sure we show Lupin for a couple minutes each movie so that the end of the 7th movie will make more sense. OH SHOOT! what is that ladies name again!? no one will care! she’ll just be another body… oh well. #nerdsigh

  16. *Reads Gabe’s post, puts down Harry Potter™ Wand Replica, puts on fightin’ gloves*

    Bring it Gabe & other detractors

    • Hold on, hold on… I’ll help. I’m trying to get this Ravenclaw tie off first though… somebody could just grab it in a brawl and choke me to death like Princess Leia does with Jabba the Hutt.

      Whoa. That was a lot of nerd for one sentence…

  17. I just got all the goosebumps.

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