Last night, Lindsay Lohan made a “surprise” appearance on The Jay Leno Show to talk about her most recent incarceration and all of her legal troubles in general and also to talk about the 10,000 movie roles that she has reportedly been up for and then subsequently fired from in the past couple years and also her comic book, I bet. I put “surprise” in quotes because it was not a surprise at all. They pre-taped the segment a couple of days ago, and screencaps were already all over the Internet yesterday along with previews of what she would say. The larger truth, though, is that even if it was an actual surprise (NBC was airing ads for the episode last night claiming it was “the one everyone would be talking about,” which is hilarious, and definitely displays NBC’s confusion over what everyone is talking about these days. HINT: it ISN’T The Tonight Show.) I’m not sure who cares about Lindsay Lohan at this point? It has been two years since Videogum downgraded her from “celebrity” to “woman of interest” and even that title seems unearned at this point. She a sad and vivid example of the ravages of fame, and that’s about it. There isn’t even any mean-spirited joy in her tragic circumstances anymore. It’s basically just watching an unemployed person with a drinking problem struggle to get work. Neat! So, she was on The Jay Leno Show last night, and EVERYONE is talking about it, I’m sure. You’re welcome to, if you want, this IS America, but maybe you feel the same way that I do: that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t need any more attention. That if anything, the constant attention is helping to perpetuate her destructive behavior, but also, if we are being completely honest with ourselves, that not talking about her isn’t so much about helping her as it is about staving off boredom. She’s boring now!

You know what isn’t boring and doesn’t get nearly enough attention? Pets wearing sunglasses. It’s up to you what to make this thread about, I’m just saying that maybe it’s time to shift our focus from struggling young starlets to some buddies with real talent! OH, LOOK AT THAT TALENTED GUY!

Comments (71)
  1. She’s also a sad and vivid example of the ravages of lip injections.

  2. “She did HOW much coke?!”

  3. This seems rather apropos…

  4. This little guy doesn’t even need sunglasses!

  5. Too cool for school!

  6. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

  7. Ready to party with Lindsay!

  8. Will you accept a monocle/tophat combination? I feel the need to class up a Lindsay Lohan post a bit.

  9. Completely unrelated to this post, but I’m currently watching “The Making of the World’s Biggest Airplane: The Airbus 340″ and JOHN TRAVOLTA keeps popping up with a big grin on his face and a pilot’s uniform, pretending to be an expert on airplanes

    • Question: when John Travolta flies his private planes [guyz, Johnny Travs has a TON of private planeage], is he wearing a fucking pilots uniform? For who? Does he have to show his credentials? Why is there a need for such a STRICT dresscode?

      It’s not like when I’m making my Richard Blais frozen kitchen creations, I throw on my Top Chef topcoat, amiright?

  10. This is my girl. She’s a good girl. But she can’t wear sunglasses over her prescription lenses.

  11. This is my cat Morty. He has to wear a perscription visor to keep laser beams from shooting out of his eyes.

  12. All hail the Hypnotoad and his trendy sunglasses.

  13. This llama is fashionably late to the party, as usual.

  14. I feel bad for/actually like Lindsay Loha…

    Wait, I kinda do.

  15. Based on an actual events.

  16. This one has aviators:

  17. well, this is my dog wearing goggles…

    close enough, right? and adorable if I do say so myself.

  18. Hope I’m not too late!

  19. Can I put this here? I can put this here.

  20. Great, now I’m late for work.

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