I’ve got a pretty huge problem with this and I’m going to tell you what it is. Sure, Aziz is in it, and Aziz is very funny. It’s got Jesse Eisenberg, who is a very talented and charming young actor with a bright career ahead of him. Danny McBride: enough said. Nick Swardson has spent years building a devoted fan-base and is due to start getting larger roles in bigger movies. It was directed by Reuben Fleischer, who made Zombieland and is making a name for himself as one of the more unique and original comic directors of his generation. It was written by first-time screenwriter Michael Diliberti, and that must be very exciting for him, his first major motion picture packed with stars! But here is my problem: NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF HOW DELICIOUS PIZZA IS? Pizza is basically the fifth character in the movie. I mean, here you have pizza as the centerpiece of the whole thing–it even provides the cute reference for the title–and yet not a single person turns to the camera and says “Hey! You know what? Pizza is delicious!”

Actually, maybe this is a good thing, because truth be told, I am tired of how so many movie trailers give away all the good pizza stuff right in the trailer and then you see the movie and you’re like, ugh, aren’t there going to be ANY pizza surprises? PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!

Comments (41)
  1. Ever heard of subtext? That the whole first scene in the trailer was really about wanting to fuck Aziz Ansari’s sister because pizza is so delicious. Read between the lines, Gabe. There’s a large pepperoni pizza waiting for you there.

    • Seems like there subtext is little pizza vs. big chains; Aziz and Jessie are the small local Italian joints making good pizza, trying to get back, and BAM the big chains come in, whack ‘em over the head, and make them do terrible things to survive. Or maybe all that is just the hangover from the food poisoning I got last night from the pizza joint…

  2. I can’t watch it at work. Is Jesse Eisenberg sort of awkward and mumbly? Does Danny McBride say ridiculous things? Does Aziz Ansari continue to make absolutely no impact on my brain?

  3. This jagoff is writing screens, or whatever?

  4. My question is where are 50 Cent and Val Kilmer?

    (This was shot in Grand Rapids last summer. It was very exciting for us!)

  5. I think Gabe’s having pizza flashbacks, guys. Should we worry?

    PIZZA! PIZZA!

  6. You don’t get there in 30 minutes or less without making a few enemies.

  7. From one of my favorite Wikis, List Of Unusual Deaths:

    2003: Brian Douglas Wells, an American pizza delivery man in Erie, Pennsylvania, was killed by a time
    bomb that had been fastened around his neck. He was apprehended by the police after robbing a bank, and claimed he had been forced to do it by three people who had put the bomb around his neck and would kill him if he refused. The bomb later exploded, killing him.

    Hope they don’t go and make it a HOLLYWOOD ENDING now. And cast James Franco as the bomb.

  8. Kudos to Gabe for speaking truth to pizza.

  9. Why doesn’t he just take the bomb off and throw it in a lake or something?

  10. This is why you should never blog hungry.

  11. 30 Minutes Or Less – “Somebody Has To Deliver The Pizza”

  12. Finally a movie with Nick Swardson in it that doesn’t look like crap. And I actually am excited about that, no sarcasm-o.

  13. Sooo nobody else is a little weirded out that they’re making a comedy out of someone getting a suicide vest strapped to themselves and being forced to commit a federal crime?

    • I am, yes. I don’t think a lot of people know about that real story. It happened in Erie, PA and it’s still not clear if the guy wearing the bomb (who died when it actually went off) was in on it or not? It was all very bizarre but making a comedy out of that situation seems distasteful, although not insensitive or anything. It’s weird though that I wouldn’t consider a thriller based on the same situation to be distasteful, which is messed up, because it would be just as distasteful if not moreso.

      I don’t know what conclusion we reached, but I’m glad you brought that up.

  14. I’ll go see this. I mean, even if the pizza surprises were predictable. We all have to put pizza on our families. Who are outfitted with bombs. Sometimes that is just the way life goes.

  15. in the real life version of this the guy actually exploded, so it would be pretty cool if the last 30 minutes of the movie was a really intense standoff and aziz crying and cursing god from a safe distance.

  16. I just found this out, but they shot some of the movie in Grand Rapids, so it is delicious Grand Rapids Pizza!

  17. LOL for everything about this post. I wish I had more than that, a joke or something, but I don’t. I just loved this post. I kept waiting to get to Gabe’s criticism. I’ve been reading VG for a while, and I like a good Gabe Rant as much as the next monster. Needless to say, I was not expecting the criticism that finally emerged.

    Thank you, Gabe. Thank you, Videogum. Happy Good Friday. God bless.

  18. I enjoyed that trailer.

  19. Does Jesse Eisenberg play that Jesse Eisenberg character in this movie? I hope so, I never ever ever get tired of it.

  20. This is Jesse Eisenberg’s follow-up to his Oscar sht?

  21. Inside Info – the pizza place that is the setting for this movie, Vito’s, was renovated before shooting began. The pizza is still among the worst in the city. So don’t worry about it

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