And Mario Cantone is on it?

Previous guests include Nathan Lane, Nora Ephron, and John Lithgow (well, obviously). Hey, I like wine, and Stanley Tucci is a good actor (although he was very hammy in The Lovely Bones, right? Which is weird, I think, to be hammy but also be a child rapist-murderer?). But what is this? Am I the weird one for thinking this is weird? No, right, sorry, you’re right, Mario Cantone PRETENDING TO BE A GLASS OF WINE for Stanley Tucci to riff off of isn’t weird. Carry on, world. Although, sorry, one more thing: it is hilarious how everything wine touches turns to hilariously pretentious caricature. Right? Poor wine. So delicious. So full (bodied) of itself. (Boo!)

Comments (35)
  1. Pinot nope!

  2. Hey, how would you get through making Burlesque?

    • My friends and I once wrote a treatment for a sequel to Sideways called Upwards. It would have all the pretension and awfulness, but instead of being about wine, it’d be about cocaine. There was an amazing monologue by Virginia Madsen where she rambles on about how whenever she does blow, she thinks about what it was like when the coca leaves were harvested, and the poor underage Colombian workers forced to stomp the coca into powder, and what the weather was like when it was transported across borders in the trunk of a Ford Pinto, hidden in teddy bears.

  3. More like Mario Can’tone.

  4. At least he didn’t call his show The Grapeist?

  5. More like Stanley Tucci’s has a show about whine.

  6. As we speak, Charlie Sheen is developing a syndicated talk show called, “Cocaine Chat.”

    “So Lindsey, what do you think of as an ‘effervescent’ snort?”
    “Oh, I would half to go with the ’09 Bolivia crop. Full bodied aroma, without a hint of pretension.”

  7. “Gentlemen! We have successfully converted the City of New York into a 41 second long YouTube clip!” — Scientists

  8. Stanley Tucci doesn’t appreciate your sass.

    (ok, yes, I really did just want to post that gif. Can you blame me? It is an excellent gif, and Stanley Tucci is the best. He is one of the fantasy guests to my fantasy dinner party. Oh, how whimsical it will be!)

  9. Don’t criticize Stanley too harshly, I hear he’s a bit Tucci.



    I’m going to hell for that one.

  10. I’m pretty certain that when a bottle of wine touches the inside of my body no one thinks of the word “pretentious.”

  11. This is just like when me and my friends hang out, you guys. Other than the nice clothes, good wine and lack of drunken shouting, exactly like us.

  12. Tucci was pretty awesome in Easy A as the dad who just doesn’t care that his daughter might just be the town whore.

    • I thought he was a pretty supportive dad. I guess the line between supportive and apathetic is geometry joke.

      • oh, he definitely was, in the ‘hey, here if you need me, in the meantime whateva, you got this’ kind of way.

        which is different than how my dad would have handled the situation with my sisters, which is ‘MURDER MURDER MURDER KILL KILL KILL’

    • Agreed.
      “After we watch The Bucket List, remember to cross ‘watch The Bucket List’ off our bucket list.”

  13. Oh Mario Cantone! You are ACTING. Brava!

  14. Quick question — will they ever discuss Savignon Blancs or Unoaked Chards, because those are totally LADY WINES. Am I right ladies?

  15. I didn’t watch the video, but I’m pretty sure it’s actually Stanley Tucci talking about different types of vines. It is called “Vine Talk.”

  16. Is there a Monster Wine Club? Can there be one?

  17. *sips wine*

    “I taste sticks… and rope.’

    “Why thank you!”

    Man, I miss Party Down.

    Now on the topic, I wish they would have Modern Family’s Cameron (in character) as a guest, it seems like guaranteed television gold.

  18. You know who would be great on this show? Our girlfriend!*

    *By “our girlfriend” I obviously mean Gwenyth Paltrow.

    • Also, I hate wine culture. I think it’s just a snootzy way for suburbanites to hide their alcoholism. “Oh, I never drink outside of a couple glasses of wine with dinner, but red wine’s good for your heart. Besides Jim Darling and I picked it up at a little vineyard in Provence. Europeans drink wine everyday, it’s cultural.”

      • Depends on the people. Actual wine people in wine counties in California are pretty cool. The jackasses who use it to define themselves would be jackasses using something else to define themselves if they didn’t know about wine. (See: Paltrow, G., car culture, vinyl collectors) Also, once you start to really learn about which appellations and regions you like, it becomes a fun hunt to figure out what a good wine is and what a great wine is for under $30 or $15 or $10. But I’m more of a wine-yes than a win-o. Heyo!

  19. You should see his show about fencing, Tucci-hé

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