When mom brought the new Old Spice guy around, we weren’t buying it. Sure, he called us “Chief” and mussed with our hair and said things like, “Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle before? Would you like to?” and then mom would put up some kind of weak protest and he’d laugh and say “Oh come on, it’s safe enough. Let the boy have some fun.” But we weren’t buying it. All through dinner at the mid-priced restaurant where new Old Spice guy said we were even allowed to order appetizers, which mom NEVER let us order appetizers, it was still just like “what are you trying to do here, new Old Spice guy? What’s the end game?” We were suspicious. And we were right to be suspicious. Because new Old Spice guy didn’t go away like the others. He stuck around. He sat on our furniture. Mom brought him snacks while he hogged the TV. She said it was important for children to have an Old Spice guy in the house. Says you, mom. We hear the two of you at night, “deodorizing.” We’re halfway through our second quarter of Health, OK?! He just better not ever try and boss us around or else you’ll see.

You can’t tell us what to do, new Old Spice guy. You’re not our dad. Isaah Mustafa is our dad!

Comments (34)
  1. Why is New Daddy wearing a shirt?

  2. Does this mean we get two Christmases?

    the commercial would have been better if they had a new generic white male spokesman after each previous one died, or does Old Spice make me invincible? I smell a lawsuit. (lawsuits smell like peaches)

  3. Real men get eaten by piranhas. Be a real man.

  4. Don’t worry, Gabe. I bought you a DVD that I thought might inspire you.

  5. Wait, which man is the man my man* could smell like? So confused.

    *Also, “my man?” I guess I’m confused about a lot of things.

  6. Whatever. I know who my tv commercial dad will always be…

  7. If I saw a half man half skeleton walking out the woods the last thing I would want to do is smell it.

  8. Isaiah Mustafa, why have you abandoned and left us with this immortal monster?!?!

  9. http://tinypic.com/r/a4wlc6/7

    Cake for dinner, don’t tell your mom.

  10. Weekend Dad says all sorts of silly things about mom and New Old Spice Man. Sometime he uses the B word and gets really mad.

  11. cool video some of my fondness is that old old spice dad and my mom met at b,lack.w.hite y o u n g b l a c k s p o k e s m a n m e e t o l d e r w h i t e m o m s dot com. they really hit it off its the perfec place for superhero-physiqued spokesmen with demon-reality-shifting powers to meet sixty-year-old single mothers.

    jk parents still together #ohaidadwhoneverreadsvideogum

  12. I challenge New Old Spice Guy to a Wrestling of Arms!

  13. Well it was fun while it lasted. Bye Isaah Mustafa! Now I can go back to not giving a crap about Old Spice.

  14. Isaiah Mustafa : this guy :: Sean Connery : George Lazenby

    I want to give this guy a chance, but its gonna be an uphill battle.

  15. I always wanted my deodorant named after track one of the Top Gun soundtrack.

  16. Hey guys, I don’t trust new dad’s facial hair.

  17. Your new dad looks like my old dad. Your mom is a whore.

  18. Sideshow Mel voice: “THAT MAN IS HALF SKELETON!!!!”

  19. I saw this days ago on:

  20. white ladies in saris, dananana, you aren’t indian.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.