First of all, I have not seen a less convincing “scientist” than James fucking Franco since the movie Chain Reaction where they let us know that Keanu Reeves was a genius by putting him in a Harvard sweatshirt. “They don’t just sell these at the gift shop, you know.” But, the James Franco problem is beautifully offset by the Freida Pinto solution. I hope this is one of those fake movies that is all just a ruse to get me into the theater and after five minutes of roughly shot footage starring Craigslist actors, Freida Pinto turns to the camera and says “Marry me, Gabe,” and the whole theater erupts into applause and I’m like “I can’t believe you went to all this trouble,” and she’s like “It’s not trouble if you truly love someone so much.” That’s probably what this is. “From Weta Digital, the effects company that brought you the Avatar Wedding Proposal.” On a sidenote (now that we’ve talked about what’s important): I do like the idea of living in a world in which the threat of super-intelligent apes taking over is even remotely scary. Haha. Nope! Unless the apes are made out of dirty bombs. OH MY GOD, THE APES AREN’T MADE OUT OF DIRTY BOMBS ARE THEY?!

Comments (68)
  1. The video’s not working for me. Must have been posted by some over-tired after hours athlete.

    • Damn, dirty athletes!

    • I love this , So does My boyfriend .he is almost 11year older than me .i met him via ap‘emi’ngl a nice place for seeking ape love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive young primates and treat you like a banana. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends.. Just love it

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • At this point, this reads like a cry for help, and I’m really worried about you ghkry.

        Also, if you’re going to hang around and become a Monster, I recommend getting an avatar.

  2. Actually, James Franco has his doctorate in bongology, with a minor in knowing which stores are open 24 hours and also sell Cheetos.

  3. How can we make James Franco a convincing scientist?

    Easy, just cast him alongside a bunch of gorillas.

  4. Does anybody have Freida Pinto’s number? Gabe needs to save her from some sentient apes real quick.

  5. If only there were some other intelligent species on Earth to stop these apes from taking over.

    • The big problem is that there are just SO MANY apes in today’s major cities. I’ve heard that in cities like New York alone the ape population is several time the human population. It is especially bad on the subway, where feral apes are always rooting about on the tracks and in the garbage.

  6. True Storygum: In fifth grade, after reading “Congo” by Michael Crichton, I was convinced I wanted to be a primatologist and teach sign language to gorillas. I even took a summer enrichment course in ASL.

    Today, I work in marketing and communications. So yeah, pretty much the same thing. Also, I’m totally going to see this.

    • True Story follow up: after seeing “Congo” starring Laura Linney and Ernie Hudson in 1995 I was convinced that I should obtain an enormous diamond so that I could build an awesome laser gun.

  7. A small point:


    …these are dust filters. Unless that chimp is going to start hanging drywall, I’m unclear why they’re all wearing them.

  8. Frank went to Harvard. He lived in Lowell House and was a member of the Signet Society.

  9. “First of all, I have not seen a less convincing “scientist” than James fucking Franco since the movie Chain Reaction where they let us know that Keanu Reeves was a genius by putting him in a Harvard sweatshirt.” –Gabe

    I disagree Chain Reaction came out in 1996. Since then to my mind there have been two much greater leaps of faith in the believability of actors as scientists:

    1999 — The World is Not Enough, starring Denise Richards as (ugh) Dr. Christmas Jones, a nuclear physicist.


    2005 — Alone in the Dark, starring Tara Reid as Dr. Aline Cedrac, an archeologist and museum curator.

    Oh glasses, maybe she is a… NOPE.

  10. “I’m Gonna Make like a Gorilla and watch Freida Pinto sleep, too.”
    -Gabe, Probably

  11. Did anyone else see the ape go all Twilight in that bedroom around 1:17? I really hope this movie ends with that ape finally finding someone to groom him and live with him forever as an ape-vampire.

    #apepeopleproblems? #apepeopleproblems.

  12. Man, there’s going to be a lot of disappointed Italians when they find out this is about monkeys.
    (I’m posting a visual aid here, to bring the total number of people who get this up to three.)



    Too soon?

  14. This looks like the comedy hit of the summer!

  15. James Franco just got a PHD in Chemistry just to spite Gabe

  16. While the Apes aren’t MADE of dirty bombs, if I know anything about apes, they will be throwing some dirty bombs at some point.

  17. do i see tyler labine in there as the wacky fat best friend/comedy relief/scientist? i think i do!

  18. Not to cast a net of realism onto something as inherently goofy as the Planet of the Apes (“Are you familiar with the Planet of the Apes?” “The movie or the planet?”), but if an army of super-intelligent, super-STRONG apes were unleashed on the public, there’d be a lot more limbless, faceless people laying around than there were cafeteria chairs and various strewn papers i that trailer.

    “Oh my gosh! They’re in the trees and jumping on cars!” More like, “All my body parts have been twisted off and they’re eating my genitals!”

    I’m not typing this to be funny or anything. I’m just saying apes are vicious. If I go to this film I’ll be scoffing at the fact that no one has been savagely torn apart by super-intelligent computer animated apes, but will also be happy that I’m not seeing Hollywood’s take on people being torn apart by those same apes.

    I guess what I’m saying is I’ll pass.

  19. Too bad the apes don’t talk in this one: “I came here to kick ass and eat bananas. And I’m all out of bananas.”

  20. So, ok, we’re talking about a population of apes in the world that is miniscule compared to humans, ie. all of the Great Apes are threatened or endangered, so there are perhaps ~10k of them in the world? I love science fiction, but how is this at all believable? The original Planet of the Apes storyline had the apes rising after a nuclear war, which didn’t make much more sense but at least explained the reduced human population. Plus, the natural habitat for the apes is Africa and Asia, not North America. Is it too much to ask for a minimum of logic in Hollywood? An asteroid hitting the earth, at least?

    • That depends. Is the asteroid made out of apes?

    • In the original film series, we were breeding them for manual labor. So there were a lot more of them than 10K running around. Not sure if that’s the case in this version.

    • This is a great point, Bubbles. I – not knowing the PotA mythology – thought, “Hey, cool, so THIS is how they took over.” But what you’re saying is that’s all wrong. And so the nuclear war / manual labor stuff (credit: My Ironic Mustache) set in Africa or Asia would’ve been a potentially really solid idea for a movie, but Hollywood just said, “Eh, whatevs,” as they’re often want to do. And here we are.

      That said, I’m surprised by how on-board I am with this movie. It looks pretty fun, no? However, if this is all an elaborate ruse so that Freida Pinto can propose to Gabe, well, I guess that would be fun, too. Fingers crossed for you, Mr. Videogum.

  21. I am a hyper intelligent ape writing from the year 2258.
    The great ape takeover did not begin as this trailer depicts.
    The movie itself is actually the cause.


  23. if you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the entire trailer, i implore you to try again. the thoughtful ape at the end makes it all worth while.

    WHAT IS HE THINKING ABOUT? my guess, naked franco.

  24. I thought the whole thing with the Planet of the Apes was that Apes evolved after humanity nuked itself into near extinction. Am I missing something?

    Oh, also this movie looks like crap crap crap.

  25. Of the Of the Of the

  26. Spoiler Alert: They (probably) blow up the Statue of Liberty at the end.

  27. This seems like a job for the Fast and Furious gang.

  28. I seriously thought the title of this movie was a joke. Like in my mind “The Rise of the Planet of the Apes” is akin to “Eat, Pray, Love and Basketball Nanny Diaries”. But the reality of this is much more depressing.

  29. Yet another movie where things are “rising”. I know Hollywood is remarkably unoriginal, but can we please get a more creative way of describing some impending threat from a large group or enemy (machines, apes, Silver Surfers, etc.)?

  30. Someone bet someone else “Hey, I bet you can’t make a worse movie than Tim Barton based off the idea of Planet of the Apes.” And the bet was taken.

  31. whoops – Burton. I misspelled it just like he made an awful movie based on the idea of Planet of the Apes.

  32. Is that brief scene with the ape in a bedroom the reason why Gabe wants James Franco to go to bed?

  33. I don’t even care. I will definitely go and see this.

  34. Been pumped all day thanks to this, you guys, and I spent about an hour at a bus stop today cause the bus I was waiting for initially didn’t even show up, so I kept thinking of how excited I am to see this movie, and that got me through it.

  35. Instead of calling this “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes” they should have called this “Deep Blue Sea 2: Deep Blue Sea, But With Apes!”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.