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I wonder what people even DID before voicemail?! How did they communicate that they fucked your sister because she kept flashing her big ass titties in your face and why don’t you have big ass titties but they still love you and are going to make it up to you tonight with some champagne so get it ready? Snail mail?! (Via TheDailyWhat.)
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Off-topic!
Friday??
You know what that means! Chat!
http://tinychat.com/videogum Password: Enhance
I do NOT want to see what’s going on below the frame.
Probably something faaaaaaaake.
Ass titties sound uncomfortable, regardless of how big they are.
Is it like, one titty above each cheek? Or even like one set of titties on each cheek? Something to do with the crack? I mean, ass titties are complicated!
So that’s how Entourage ends, with Turtle fucking Vince’s sister
I have pieced this together and have come to the conclusion that our gentlemen caller has been dating Tom Hanks and cheated on him with Peter Scolari.
Tom’s ultimate prank, we all thought it was Chet but we were wrong
Hey, What Up With Peter Scolari?
Honey, I Smanged Your Sister
Oh honey, you don’t need to go through all this. If you want to buy me a boob job for my birthday, just ask me!!!
All’s fair in love and voicemail.
“You know, when someone flashing those big ass titties I’m gonna have to fuck ‘em. Remember last summer when I fucked Fat Bob? Same situation, only this time, it was your sister and not Fat Bob.”
His Name Is Robert Paulson
Please don’t call him “Bitchtits.”
This isn’t a voicemail from last night’s videogum party was it?
“How I Met Your Mother’s Sister.” Coming this Fall to CBS.
“What was I supposed to do, NOT fuck your sister? You’re the one being weird here.”
Why ain’t she have big ass titties too, though? It’s a reasonable question. I too am feeling stressed over this conundrum.
TWIST: they aren’t really sisters!
“Wait, so that means I fucked — some stranger?!? EWWWW.”
That reminds me Gabe, the only reason I commented on Stereogum was because it kept flashing its big-ass indie rock bands at me. Why don’t you have big-ass indie rock bands?
You don’t think Gabe has big ass bands on this site?
“Hi Hater.”
I once got a voicemail that went like this (in a Slavic-sounding Spanish accent) “Hello Larry? This is Manny, we got big problem, can you call me? Manny.”
I guess you have to here it to understand how great it was.
*hear
Come on now people, exactly what ARE we supposed to do when someone ‘is keep on hollerin at us’ ?
I keep getting voicemails from a grandmother named Mary asking me to send her a bale of hay. I’ve actually spoken to her a few times and told her that she has a wrong number but she keeps calling?
Now you have to fuck her sister. That’s just how that works.
Well the good thing is, at least he’ll still squeeze them shits.
Oh man it took me like 1/2 the video to realize he wasn’t talking to his guy friend but his (now ex?) girlfriend. Wow, so much worse
I really want to know what they toasted to with that champagne…
Big ass titties of course.
Damn. Muthafuckaz be wild’n and shiieet lol.
This is so romantic — he’s realizing he should fight for her. #crazystupidcallback
I take it he’s not an ass man.
I’m sure there are two sides to every story, but considering her mammaries are so petite and her sibling’s mammaries are so voluminous, it seems like she should feel fortunate this gentleman is engaging in coitus with her in the first place.
“You yada yada’d over the best part!”
“Oh I mentioned the big ass titties.”
Oh, man, this is like some Romeo and Juliet stuff. Star-crossed lovers kept apart by the unfairness of small breasts. I really hope that champagne isn’t poisoned.
Obviously this was left for Helen Mirren’s sister.