If there is one thing Hollywood is constantly striving to do, it is GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. (The other thing they are constantly striving to do is put out the highest quality product they possibly can, that offers both artistic and intellectual satisfaction.) Today is no different. Hollywood moves bravely forward! From the HollywoodReporter:

Lucas Cruikshank, the teen actor who turned his alter-ego character Fred Figglehorn into a YouTube hit and a TV movie for Nickelodeon, will star in a 3D movie for Lionsgate.

John Fortenberry (“Blue Mountain State”) is directing “Night of the Living Fred.” David A. Goodman (“Family Guy”) wrote the script. Production is now under way in Los Angeles.

Perfect. You know, it sounded like I was kidding up top when I said that Hollywood was always working hard to give people what they want, but that’s actually true. That is the problem. THIS IS KIND OF WHAT PEOPLE WANT. Oh, people. You should want better stuff! I’m worried about you, people! (Also, if you don’t know what “Fred” is, congratulations. And my apologies.)

Comments (46)
  1. I’m going to need a 3D gun to blow my 3D brains out.

  2. This is NOT what people want. What people want this? Children? Children do not get to contribute to the list of things that people want. There are so many children, and they all want the worst things. If we’re factoring children into the average Amazon wishlist of the world, that means that people also want spaghetti tacos and to be included in the next Kidz Bop recording.

  3. I actually don’t know what “Fred” is, so I’ll assume it’s this:

  4. You can’t make a 3D kids movie without farting dogs, get your act together Ari Gold

  5. I have to wonder what kind of world we live in when this idiot gets a movie before Antoine Dod.

  6. They had to use Night of The Living Fred because Drop Dead, Fred* was taken.

    *Yes I know there is no comma in the title 1991 Phoebe Cates**/Rik Mayall movie, but the joke doesn’t make much sense without it.

    **I also know that I’ve stated before that I can’t hear/read/see/type Phoebe Cates’ name without having The Cars “Moving In Stereo” start playing in my head. Today is no exception.

  7. “Night of the Living Fred”? As a zombie, I am filled with shame and disdaaaaaaaain.

  8. Topic for discussion: Would Fred be more or less annoying as a flesh-eating reanimated corpse?

  9. I also have a 3D movie in production based on my Internet persona. It will be 5 hours long and consist mostly of me just sitting in the mall looking at people with sorrow, disdain or a combination of the two.

    The soundtrack is going to be “The Judd’s Greatest Hits.”

  10. I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t opt for FR3D. A perfect opportunity wasted!

    • You’re genuinely surprised the people making this movie didn’t think that up? Come on now. That’s actually a really smart idea. Of COURSE they didn’t think of it. Instead they thought of actually making this movie.

  11. I just realized, Fred is pretty much this generation’s Ernest. One day, 20 years from now, people will watch the Fred movie and wonder what they were thinking.

  12. Booooo! I didn’t know about this Fred nonsense and when I first read the title I thought they were making a Drop Dead Fred 3D remake

  13. Hold up — someone from Family Guy is going to make something shitty?

  14. How do you make farts 3D? Get it? this guy is a fart.

  15. Bad news, this won’t be his first film.


  16. OK, look. Normally I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to this kind of stuff; hey, Fred’s not for me, but if he brings some people a small measure of happiness into their otherwise dull, workaday existences, then who am I to judge? I am not the police of what everyone on earth should find funny or entertaining!
    Then I read this:
    And then I looked at my paycheque.

    Can someone please post that .GIF of that lady shooting herself in the face? You know, just ’cause.

    • For those of you not into the whole “math” thing, that means Rebecca Black, with 89 million views (!!!) has earned over $66750 in, what, the past 3 weeks?.
      *deep sigh*

  17. This is our generation’s “The Gradual Report”.

  18. <—- does not know how to upload gifs.

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