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By now, you have surely seen the above clip already in which Kirstie Alley falls (well, is dropped) during her performance of the Rumba! on last night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars. Afterwards, her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy claimed that his leg just gave out and described it like a terrible Charlie horse. How embarrassing for both of them! Although, more embarrassing for her, obviously. Actually, that might not be true. I mean, he is a professional dancer, so he’s supposed to be able to, you know, not drop people on their butts. Kirstie Alley, meanwhile, writes things like “RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN TO GET A FREE ROOT BEER FLOATTTTTTTTTT” on Twitter, so she knows her way around a pair of flushed cheeks. Also, everyone is acting as if this is a shocking event, as if that show was not an Embarrassment Factory. Anyway, for this week’s Caption Contest, what did Kirstie Alley say in the moment right before she fell? Or, for that matter, what did Maksim Chmerkovkiy whisper into her ear right before he dropped her? “FALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!” You do it.
Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. BRAVA! (Video via WarmingGlow.)
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Cheers and OhFuck
* Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience*
Norm: “Afternoon everybody”
Everybody: “Norm!”
Woody: “What’s going down, Mr Peterson.?”
Norm: “My blood alcohol level and faster than Rebecca on an an episode of Dancing With the Stars.”
Look Who’s Falling Now
That particular move will need to wait until she reaches OT VII.
Thanks for the tip, Paul Haggis!
What she said: “What would you do if I fell?”
What he said: “Let’s find out, shall we?”
Robin Colcord strikes again.
Argh!
Jenny Craig’s first attempt at a viral marketing campaign was less then successful.
Now Robin Colcord will never marry her.
Rumba? I barely know her.
“FETTUCINI!!!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXb0cRifO5s
They were re-enacting the part where the house falls on the Wicked Witch of the West.
And Step. And Twirl. And Shuffle Ball-Sprain.
Q: What dance steps did the marginally famous zombie perform on Dancing with the Stars?
A: The Shuffle Ball Chaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn
Kirstie Alley does the Roomba.
F(l)at (on her back) Actress
Bad Dancer
alley oops
PUNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Ohhh is that a Reese’s Piece down there? Ah crap.
Drop Dead Not-bad-looking-I-guess.
FINISH HER!
“Sweep the leg, Johnny”
“I immediately need to come up with a way to not blame this on her weight.” – Chmerkovskiy
Monsters everywhere are trying desperately to avoid making fat jokes.
Huh, we’re trying to avoid fat jokes?
Oh, I wouldn’t be above it, but I can’t think of anything that isn’t rote and obvious. Apparently, comedic integrity is far more important to me than personal integrity.
Let’s see:
….
….
…Nope, I got nothing.
Veronica’s Clutzy
This is the best Pier 1 Imports commercial I’ve ever seen.
That’s what happens to stuff from Ikea, Pier 1 Imports, our cabinets don’t collapse
What dance was that, the Viennese Falltz?
Veronica’s Closet full of Twinkies.
That move worked so well in rehearsal!
please downvote that I hate myself
All I want to know is what you Googled to track down this image.
No real reference point for this one. I just felt like posting a whale pic.
An image so perfect I took the time to explain my guffaws to Mrs. Dish. Which is supposed to be a compliment to you, Patrick M. So, good job!
Remember when Kirstie Alley dropped this guy on TV?
What goes around comes around.
“I just got the strangest erection.” – Chmerkovskiy
HATERS GONNA HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really feel like he was hamming it up for the cameras.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get that away from me!
You’d think she’d be able to dance better if she removed that peanut butter jar from her head.
It Takes Two (dancers to hold her up)
What if we forgot the God of our fathers?
Well I don’t know what she said, but I know what some of your big-city, no-bra-wearin’, hairy-legged women’s libbers might say.
goddamnit patrick, i cannot believe i was beaten to the punch on that one. and it was my fastest photoshop ever.
The good news is, I can now divide my self-loathing by two
Gabe: “Anyway, for this week’s Caption Contest, what did Kirstie Alley say in the moment right before she fell? Or, for that matter, what did Maksim Chmerkovkiy whisper into her ear right before he dropped her?”
We are all terrible at following directions.
“FUNYUNNNNNS”
The winner is never one that follows Gabe’s instructions.
Gabe’s instructions are ignored more than the weight capacity label on Chmerkovskiy’s artificial knee implant. (and that’s a lot!)
RT @kirstiealley “Maks is too humble.. we all know it takes TWO to Tango..on our feet or on our asses…it takes TWO ..I will do better from now on…xoxo”. for realsies.
Did she just reference a movie of hers from 15 years ago twice? That’s your girlfriend !
“Kirstie Alley and her dance partner hit the dance floor last on Dancing With The Stars… and I mean they really HIT THE FLOOR!” – My local news station this morning. Seriously.
*last night
damn it…
Someone needs to tell Gawker that Kirstie Alley isn’t on the A-List.
“A” stands for “Any”?
Dancing with the Stars: Where everybody knows you’re lame!
KOBAYASHI MARU.
“Kirstie Alley fell to the floor during last night’s Dancing With The Stars. Kirstie suffered no injuries. However, the floor is in critical condition.”
Today we are all Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s thigh.
The most appropriate GIF ever posted.
“Oh no, not again.”
Upvoted for what I’m pretty sure is an HHGTG reference. Whale gags may be in poor taste, but when made this nerdily and stealthily, I approve.
Whoops. nerd fail. it is the bowl of petunias that thinks “oh no, not again”. A much nicer comparison to make, or I’m just seeing things that aren’t actually there.
Nope, that’s exactly what I was referencing. It’s one of my favorite moments in HHGTG.
Ugh this clip makes me so furious. She is not that fat, and he is a strong dude. I think this is a set up, for real.
Yeah, that was my reaction also. When it happened I told my girlfriend that they did it on purpose and I stand by my diagnosis.
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Chmerkovkiy – “Oh, by the way, I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night. I wonder if that will have any adverse consequences on my performaWHAAAAAA!”
Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. Did you have to inject it directly into your carotid artery immediately before we were scheduled to go on?*
*now accepting nominations for a bad Star Trek reference lifetime achievement award.
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Did the news say whether she got a strike?
(‘Cuz her name is Alley… Like a bowling alley… heh…
…heh… ok, showing myself out…
this is really gonna hurt her career
I’m assuming it was one of these:
“Oh great, now my twitters gonna explode like your hamstring.”
or
“Oh no, not the ham sandwich……. I mean hamSTRING!”
Is it just me, or did it seem like Kirstie didn’t do a whole lot of dancing there? I mean, isn’t SHE supposed to be the one they’re judging? She just kind of waved her arms around a lot, basically … even I could do that.
Alley: If this dance goes perfectly I will make love to you!
Chmerkovskiy: (drop)
A little late but…
“And booms goes the cellulite.”
Thank you.
I complete understand the -1. I’m ashamed of myself.
Holy crap, 2 comments in a row that make me sound like I can’t speak/type English. I give up!