THANK YOU. NEXT!

Comments (36)
  1. Wow. That really quacked me up.
    Ugh.

  2. How would an African America duck sound like?

  3. Two things:

    1. They could have saved a lot of time by doing all of their recruitment in nursing homes.
    2. NUMBER FIVE! (Insert Short Circuit joke) But, for real, all the votes to #5.

  4. WANTED: Voice over talent for nationally televised advertising campaign. Must be adept at comical waterfowl speech. Lack of racially insensitive, culturally insulting hateful tweets a plus. Send resume and sample quacks to The Zimmerman Agency, Madison Ave, NY, NY, 10012.


  5. No Afflack

  6. What the duck.

  7. Tracy Morgan for the Aflac duck! No WAY he would ever say anything inappropriate to embarass the company!

  8. Are they auditioning to be the next Aflac Duck, or the next Gilbert Gottfried? They seem to be confused on this point.

  9. Maybe this guy would…fit the bill?

  10. Some of those guys are just doing straight Donald Duck impressions.

    Which reminds me of a substitute teacher I had at my middle school who would do Donald Duck impressions and give us motivational speeches about the rewards of hard work and dedication, accompanied by large glossy photos of his show dogs. He was really just the ideal personality to connect with teenage kids and not generate eye rolling or sarcasm or anything.

    • It would go like this.

      “Have I ever told you about my dogs?”

      Yes. Yes you have.

      He pulls out a manila envelope from behind the desk. “My wife and I have four dogs that we take to shows and compete with.”

      He takes out glossy photos of several Afghan dogs. Students comment on how weird they look.

      “We put a lot of hard work into these dogs. Breeding them, training them. For every show you have to spend hours combing and cleaning them.”

      At this point people would begin to start anticipating and saying his lines, as we had heard them a dozen times before. He never seemed to notice. Also worth noting, he wore a full, bright blond toupee that was legendary around the school.

      “Some people, though, just don’t take much pride in themselves. At these shows we see people with dogs that don’t look like they’ve been combed at all! You see, they don’t want to put in the hard work.”

      Pause.

      “But when you do make the effort, you will be rewarded. All that hard work pays off.”

      He waits another beat. Then he goes back into the envelope to reveal a large, white, 3rd place ribbon.

  11. I just can’t even believe that Bobcat Goldthwait is unavailable.

  12. Why-a-Duck?

    I’ll see myself out.

  13. Hopefully, for the sake of these folks’ friends, when they don’t get the gig, at least some of them will stop breaking out their Aflac duck impersonation at every party.

  14. Gilbert Gottfried is somewhere crying into a bottle of Jack Daniels.

  15. I do all my duck try-outs in front of a poster for “Carrie.”

  16. This is almost the worst Aflac commercial ever.

  17. America’s Next Top Aflac Duck

  18. I don’t understand why they are even auditioning anyone else. I’ve got someone who fits the bill.
    And…he’s from outer space.

  19. These guys are all “(very) junior editor” material for Videogum.

  20. The guy that added in the little hands-on-hips placements was OBVIOUSLY the best.

  21. Was James Urbaniak kidding when he tweeted about auditioning for this last week? Because I’d imagine its a nice income stream for a guy to have, and I can see him actually pulling it off.

  22. As a nod to the original voice over artist, one of the auditioners should say, “Do you know the sound a gay guy makes when he farts? AAAFLAAAAAAC…”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.