“I used to think the only time I’d use the word ‘keeper’ was in a sentence referencing Quidditch. MuggleMatch proved I can use it in relation to a human I have feelings for!”
- Cassandra, 15, Alabama
This is the saddest thing I have ever read, for realsies
“A few years ago I’d never expected to find someone who’s wand and spell casting abilities matched mine. Meeting Brian changed that, and now I know he’s my partner for life. Our duels never end because we hit a stalemate like Harry and Voldemort in Goblet of Fire!”
– Justin, 18, Pennsylvania
I think this one’s pretty sad too, if only because Justin thinks there’s such a thing as “spell casting abilities.”
My biggest qualm about them is this: people buy them in order to feel like they’re a part of the magic, like they’re in the wizarding world of harry potter, etc. BUT if the ratio of delicious to disgusting jelly beans was the same in that world, none of the wizards would buy them is alls I’m saying…
There’s a chance that they might taste like vomit. Even if it’s just a small chance, I really don’t think the wizards should be buying them anyway. I’m guessing Hogwarts isn’t exactly Ivy League.
While we are discussing food tasting like vomit, can I ask if anyone else thinks olives literally taste like vomit? I forget which kind it is, but man, sometimes I end up with olive bread and think maybe this time will be different, but no, it tastes like at least 60% of the times I have vomited.
[I]The moment Bella and I met felt like the merging of peanut butter and jelly: perfect together! We immediately began completing each other’s sentences. I said Harry, and she said Potter! I said Wizard, and she said Rock! – Edward, 25, Washington[/I] – Twilight’s Lives Are Harry Potter
I had a feeling this was the case, but I clicked on the TRY NOW button and yes, folks, this is clearly the work of Brad “Prankosaurus Rex” Pitt.
Like I said, TOTALLY thought it was a HILARIOUS JOKE, which is why I clicked the button. I’m not planning on eating my Lean Cuisine over the sink tonight due to my heart-breaking loneliness and saw MuggleMatch as an opportunity to finally meet someone like me. No. I clicked the button because other people are just so SAD. Totally.
Gabe, remember how you were all “Let’s not pull pranks guys, they are lame.” Yet here you are, dangling the comic gold that was about to get me through the next six hours of my horrible job, and nope, it’s a prank.
I did that over Thanksgiving with one of my dearest friends and my baby bro and it was awesome. I would use my 13 year old brother as my human excuse shield but I think more of you fine monsters.
IT’S SUPER WORTH IT! Get some Pumpkin Juice, incredimarc, it’s more satisfying than the Butterbeer even though both are sugary greatness!
I was set up on a date in an “up and coming” venue somewhere in Bushwick. When I got there, I was assaulted and left with only the muddy clothes on my back.
Turns out that I made a typo and got set up on MuggerMatch.com. Spell check is your friend, kids!
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Sorry, I don’t associate with mudbloods.
Want to start another website with me?
A website for lonely nerds? It’s about time the internet started to cater to that demographic!
“I used to think the only time I’d use the word ‘keeper’ was in a sentence referencing Quidditch. MuggleMatch proved I can use it in relation to a human I have feelings for!”
- Cassandra, 15, Alabama
This is the saddest thing I have ever read, for realsies
“A few years ago I’d never expected to find someone who’s wand and spell casting abilities matched mine. Meeting Brian changed that, and now I know he’s my partner for life. Our duels never end because we hit a stalemate like Harry and Voldemort in Goblet of Fire!”
– Justin, 18, Pennsylvania
I think this one’s pretty sad too, if only because Justin thinks there’s such a thing as “spell casting abilities.”
And this is coming from a guys whose user name and avatar are from a sci-fi movie franchise (bonus points if you can guess which one, nerds).
Lawyer Robots in Space?
Chronicles of Riddick?
Also, it seems to imply that neither of them ever reach orgasm with each other, which is wicked depressing.
“wands” and “duels,”….heh heh
Dear Cassandra,
Oh girl
So, if I create a profile, will it match me with Chris Hansen?
“I see you’ve brought a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, a six pack of Butterbeer and some condoms.” — Chris Hansen
man, Bertie Botts’ suck. I feel like there are at least six grass or barf-flavored ones for every tasty one in the box.
Is the problem the company making the vomit-flavored jelly beans, or the person buying them?
My biggest qualm about them is this: people buy them in order to feel like they’re a part of the magic, like they’re in the wizarding world of harry potter, etc. BUT if the ratio of delicious to disgusting jelly beans was the same in that world, none of the wizards would buy them is alls I’m saying…
There’s a chance that they might taste like vomit. Even if it’s just a small chance, I really don’t think the wizards should be buying them anyway. I’m guessing Hogwarts isn’t exactly Ivy League.
@facetaco Counterpoint:
While we are discussing food tasting like vomit, can I ask if anyone else thinks olives literally taste like vomit? I forget which kind it is, but man, sometimes I end up with olive bread and think maybe this time will be different, but no, it tastes like at least 60% of the times I have vomited.
I don’t get this particular reference as I don’t read children’s books. I am an adult.
Now if you’ll excuse me, LEGO Batman on the XBox 360 won’t play itself.
I think you mean LEGO Star Wars? Gabe knows what I’m talking about. #twittercallbacks
Y’know. I was going to say LEGO Star Wars, but my fingers started typing out Batman and who am I to correct sentient fingers.
you spelled LEGO Harry Potter wrong
LEGO Harry Potter is actually very good. You can cast spells on random people to make them dance. This is a good thing.
Who wants to meet a muggle? Give me WizardWuv.com any day.
also everyone there is Weird Al
http://www.mugglenet.com/songparodies.shtml
[I]The moment Bella and I met felt like the merging of peanut butter and jelly: perfect together! We immediately began completing each other’s sentences. I said Harry, and she said Potter! I said Wizard, and she said Rock! – Edward, 25, Washington[/I] – Twilight’s Lives Are Harry Potter
“Wow, when I said ‘Accio Hottie’ I didn’t expect it to work!”
Hi, single white muggle seeks hairy potter.
I had a feeling this was the case, but I clicked on the TRY NOW button and yes, folks, this is clearly the work of Brad “Prankosaurus Rex” Pitt.
Like I said, TOTALLY thought it was a HILARIOUS JOKE, which is why I clicked the button. I’m not planning on eating my Lean Cuisine over the sink tonight due to my heart-breaking loneliness and saw MuggleMatch as an opportunity to finally meet someone like me. No. I clicked the button because other people are just so SAD. Totally.
Sigh.
At first I thought it was “muggleWatch.com”, and I was like, damn, the Voldemort administration is really going for transparency this time around.
Gabe, remember how you were all “Let’s not pull pranks guys, they are lame.” Yet here you are, dangling the comic gold that was about to get me through the next six hours of my horrible job, and nope, it’s a prank.
BOO.
I’m going to the Universal Studios Harry Potter theme park this weekend (no fake-o), uh, for a friend…
Take me with you.
Me too!
I did that over Thanksgiving with one of my dearest friends and my baby bro and it was awesome. I would use my 13 year old brother as my human excuse shield but I think more of you fine monsters.
IT’S SUPER WORTH IT! Get some Pumpkin Juice, incredimarc, it’s more satisfying than the Butterbeer even though both are sugary greatness!
I was set up on a date in an “up and coming” venue somewhere in Bushwick. When I got there, I was assaulted and left with only the muddy clothes on my back.
Turns out that I made a typo and got set up on MuggerMatch.com. Spell check is your friend, kids!
To be fair, 97% of all dates in Bushwick end in mugging.
Spell check would leave you hanging there too…
Does anyone remember “Playwitch” and “Playwizard”? Just, uh, wondering.
oh fuckin shit yes… I had blocked out that I ever knew of such a thing *photoshoppednakedalanrickmansnape*
potter fan + potter fan= crippling social disorder
Damn, another one of my submissions makes it! I’m 2 for 2 today!
#explainabrag
I think that one is just called bragging.
What’s a Muggle? But seriously, I’m looking forward to senility, so I can ask this question with integrity.