Charlie Sheen kicked off his live show this weekend (wait, live show, what’s this now?) to mixed reviews. Opening night, Saturday, was at the Fox Theater in Detroit, where Sheen was heckled and booed before a ton of people straight up walked out chanting “REFUND” and he abruptly stopped the show and turned on the house lights. Hahahahha! Awwww. Of course, the fact that Charlie Sheen organized a 20-city live tour called “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option” but then failed to actually prepare much of anything that you could actually call a show is not particularly unusual. The man is an alcoholic, a drug addict, a domestic abuser, and a narcissist. The part that IS confusing is that so many people paid what sounds like very good money to be at this “show.” What’s THEIR excuse? Also, this show sounds kind of incredible. From HitFix:

It wasn’t clear when Sheen lost the audience, but there were many awkward moments.

Sheen, known for his wild partying and rampant drug use, said he thought Detroit would be a good place to tell some stories about crack cocaine. The remark prompted loud, immediate boos.

At another point, Sheen showed a short film he wrote, directed and produced years ago called “RPG.” He sat in the front row to watch the flick, which starred a much younger Johnny Depp. Again, more boos.

Eek! But did the show actually start off with a bang?

But the show actually started off with a bang.

Oh good!

After a video montage of movie clips — Sheen in “Wall Street” and “Platoon” set to a guitar solo from Sheen friend Rob Patterson — the star emerged to raucous applause and a standing ovation. The cheering increased as the women he calls his “goddesses” took the stage.

The two women, a former porn star and an actress who live with him, carried placards with the words “War” and “Lock,” a reference to Sheen’s recent description of himself.

When the goddesses locked lips in front of him, Sheen smirked. He had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

“I don’t see a single empty seat,” he said.

That quickly changed.

As the showed bogged down, an audience member booed, prompting Sheen to reply, “I’ve already got your money, dude.”

Things only got worse.

“Tonight’s an experiment,” he said.

Hahahah. What? That was the bang? That sounds like a NIGHTMARE! Guitar solos and two sluts kissing? Yikes. Does EVERYONE who bought a ticket live in their parents’ basement? Because that is some parents’ basement shit right there. Of course, to make matters more confusing, according to the Hollywood Reporter, Charlie Sheen received a STANDING OVATION the next night in Chicago. STANDING OVATION! The Hollywood Reporter article also claims that he changed up the format of the show, but I’m not sure what that means. Like, by all accounts, he still came out on stage, made two girls kiss, and then proceeded to spew drug-induced egomaniacal delusions. Kind of sounds like a very similar format to the first show.

Oh, Charlie Sheen. You are very sick. Go to the hospital. Go to bed. And that goes double for people who are buying tickets to his live show. Stop doing that!

Comments (55)
  1. All I have to say is that Charlie Sheen is waaaaaaay to proud of his ability to pay women to kiss each other.

  2. I don’t feel bad for any of the people who bought these tickets. They deserve to be punished. Someone on my rugby team keeps thinking that saying “Winning.” is hilarious. Meanwhile, I’m making pictures like these 3 weeks ago.

  3. Chicago audiences were just thrilled with the prospect of trying to guess which “goddess” was the man, and which one was only half man.

  4. Sounds like a Sheen disaster.

    Whoops. Meant to write “a sheer disaster,” because “Sheen disaster” doesn’t even make sense… um…

    Applause gif?


  5. First of all, I have to admit that I’ve given up Charlie Sheen for Lent.
    I’ve lot 5 pounds so far (back in my skinny jeans!), and my tolerance with schadenfreude is pretty low.

    Have said all that…what the crap, Chicago? You’re my town, and you’re acting like a mess. Fix yourself.

    • Seriously. I was watching the local news coverage of this last night, and they were acting like this was just a very sweet and charming story. A triumphant show by a universally loved entertainer. They interviewed people outside the theater dressed like tigers (slutty tigers) and warlocks. The capper was that he came out of his tour bus beforehand and handed out t-shirts including a tank top that read “bangin’ 7g’s”, which he gave to a twelve year old girl. What is wrong with this world? Is someone going to get beheaded over this?

  6. Weird to see one of my submissions finally make it to V-gum!


  7. RPattz, on tour with Charlie Sheen.
    That’s what I pictured when my hungover-Monday-morning eyes read this line “After a video montage of movie clips — Sheen in “Wall Street” and “Platoon” set to a guitar solo from Sheen friend Rob Patterson”:

    • I also read it as Rob Pattinson, which lead to serious soul searching as I wondered if I could ignore this blunder as I have ignored Twilight, luckily, before reaching a complete nervous breakdown over the near-loss of my RPattz love, I reread, and rejoiced. RPattz4EVA!!!!

      (Also lead me to consider buying a ticket for this show. Which has really messed up my mental state, cause I DO live in my parents basement… yep. You can call me


  8. Am I the only one wishing the internet would just divert all this attention to Michael Sheen? That should be one of those Videogum Everywhere Matrix-font-roots movement thingies, right?

    I mean, he’s one sheen that IS actually winning :

  9. Juggalos, that’s your headliner for the Fresh Ass Comedy Tent.

  10. Giving a drug addict with mental problems a microphone and free reign to do what he wants is bad?

  11. The show started off with a bang.

  12. Very live. Very show.

  13. Marc Maron saying on his podcast last week that Charlie Sheen “had a vision” was seriously making me question reality and everything I understand to be true. Somebody hold me!!

  14. First hand account of the Chicago show: no girls kissing, lots of admittedly articulate delusion, and an audience shirt exchange. Keep in mind the girl I was with had to wiki who Charlie Sheen even was during the intermission, so perhaps we weren’t the target audience.

  15. “…he still came out on stage, made two girls kiss, and then proceeded to spew drug-induced egomaniacal delusions.”

    Add fecophilia and subtract about $145 from the ticket price, and you got a GG Allin show!

  16. According to Richard Roeper, there was a woman with a sign that read “Take Me To Your Closet” at the Chicago show. So you mean to tell me that the general public is still enabling, nay celebrating, a man who imprisoned, tortured and battered a woman? And it’s perfectly fine because she’s a sex worker. Hooray for slut shaming!!! Too bad she doesn’t sing about umbrellas, then everyone would hate Charlie Sheen. Well everyone aside from a small vocal teenage segment.

  17. You guys, I feel bad for Charlie Sheen. I heard he had a rough childhood growing up with that guy who played the President on TeeVee and his Mighty Ducks brother with the Mexican name, and besides, he’s made some seriously great stuff.

  18. Sounds like my dad at my Bat Mitzvah.

  19. wheres the “take one for the team” on this show? if ever there was a call for it, it would be now. this is like what tyler perry x brokencyde equals.

  20. You guys remember when Charlie Sheen made a cameo as himself in Being John Malkovich and he seemed very self-aware and like he had a sense of humor about himself and his public image? I guess what I’m saying is, Being John Malkovich was a pretty good movie.

  21. Bad reviews? But won’t that take the Sheen off Two and a Half Men? If nobody reads a pun, does it still play on words?

  22. This is just more proof that my moving back to Detroit from Chicago was the right decision.

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