Jon Hamm

Look at this old goof. What a goof! Oh, sure, he looks very handsome when he is wearing a three million dollar suit with his hair superglued back committing sexual assault on another man’s wife in the foyer of a fancy restaurant, but look at him now, goofing it up, goofball-style. You guys want to get some disco fries? That’s what Jon Hamm asked his friends 20 minutes before this picture was taken. “But that’s what we love about him! We love a goofhead!” Ladies, please, do not lie. That is NOT what you love about him. What you love about him is Don Draper’s face and the suggestion that somehow using sex as a weapon can still be fun, or at the very least, beautiful. Fair enough! But do not lie to yourselves and do not lie to me that you want this goof right here. It’s not worth it! Stick with the goof you already have. In fact, go home tonight and remind yourself Hey, that’s MY goof, right there. What do you need with another goof? Please be realistic. Also, pick your jacket up, Jon Hamm, it is dragging on the ground but it is a white jacket, that is just a recipe for GOOFSASTER. (Great word. Glad that worked out.) That dog is like, please, no pictures with the goof. If you tag me in this on Facebook I will untag myself so that no one can find it. That was the dog still, the stuff about Facebook was the dog talking. GOOF IT UP, GOOFBALL! (Photo via TheSuperficial.)

Comments (95)
  1. Maybe he really IS Draper-y, and he’s just HAMMING it up for this picture.

  2. Okay, for someone who actually does have a goof at home, I will still say that I would have the goofiest threesome in the WORLD with my current goof and this big ol’ hunk of goofball right here.

  3. Off-topic!

    Oof! At least there’s chat, eh? It’s Friday! password enhance

  4. Some ladies like goofballs. Like, for example, goofy ladies.

  5. What makes this work for me is the giant pepper mill in the background. Without it this would be maybe B, B+ Goofball.

  6. I don’t know. A sense of humour and he looks like this?

    Doesn’t hurt.

  7. I’d give that goof 2 rounds.

  8. I guess he hasn’t heard about Matt Holliday’s appendectomy yet.


  9. You are wrong, Gabe. I want that goof. I want that goof very much.

  10. Does he like the Cardinals? or is that just a secret message to me? Yes, Jon Hamm…i will love your big goof face..for always.

  11. I dunno, he has a very Hard Gabe air about him, non?

  12. I, for one, do not have a goofball at present so yes, I will take this one.

  13. I don’t want to bang Jon Hamm, but I’d like to hang out with him because wherever he is it’s warm enough for shorts and short sleeves.

  14. What’s weird is I usually hang out at sidewalk cafes with a scruffy beard and ball cap with my dog, but today I woke up and put on a suit and told Union Carbide where to stick it if they didn’t like my ad campaign for Simonize car wax. It’s what you need, not what you want, dammit!

  15. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I could sex the goof right out of him…

  16. I’m convinced that I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t find Jon Hamm attractive. Like, at all. To the point where yes, I would kick him out of bed. He’s a good actor and a nice guy and whatever, I’m sure, but I seriously just don’t see whatever everyone else sees? Even if I try to be objective about it? No one else can seem to identify with me on this.

  17. Please Hamma, don’t hurt ‘em

  18. This goof ball does it for me. The fact that he is a goofball, but can be Don Draper is very intriguing. I’d Hit That SO MANY TIMES!

  19. I don’t know. If I just heard that my television show just got picked up for a few more seasons, I might get a little goofy myself.

  20. Goofiness – it’s delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, “goofy” literally means “the pain from an old wound.” It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than handsomeness alone. This man isn’t a hunk, he’s a goofball. He goes backwards, and forwards… he takes us to a place where we ache to go again. He’s not just a man, he’s called Jon Hamm. He’ll let you (especially Monster ladies) travel the way a child travels – around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know we can be goofy.

  21. I immediately liked Jon Hamm the first time I saw him because I TOTALLY saw a goof behind all that glued-down hair and stuff. I was like, “That guy? DEFINITELY a goof. I am going to have fun watching him play non-goofs. Oh, the fun we are going to have!”

    Since that time, every photograph I see of him smiling for the cameras, or every old photo of him from a year book that pops up on the web, or when he appears as himself on 30 Rock (exaggerated, yes, but that’s him), I am like, “I like you, Hamm. You’re goof people.” Then I high five myself.

    • I’m not even gonna pretend like I don’t love doing this.

      • Nor should you!

        (And on a totally different note, I JUST realized that goof Jon Hamm is in my avatar! I wrote that prior comment COMPLETELY oblivious to this fact. I think I may be a goof too, and us goofs— both the handsome goofs and the average-to-not-so-handsome-to-what-girls-say-is-cute goofs— gotta support each other, because God, and the bible…)

  22. Believe me when I tell you I want that goof. We ladies like our men all jokey and ridiculous and also capable of sexually assaulting our bodies. Trust.

  23. alternate title for post – don’t worry dudes, jon hamm is a big old goof.

  24. His SNL skit with Michael Buble for ‘Hamm and Buble’s’ made him the most lovable goof of all.

  25. I would sit in that goofball’s lap and give him a big ole’ hug. But that’s as far as I’m willing to go with another man. Maybe a little kiss. No hamm-o.

  26. really dont care to see actors being sexually objectified all the time, he went to acting school and spent years honing his craft to be an actor and now people just treat him like he’s masturbation material. that’s demeaning and unfair

  27. You know what’s not goofy, Hamm-o? Pants. Now, we all know that you already shun underpants, so why not take it the extra mile, hmm? You can don pants for Mad Men (get it??), but out in the real world, they’re only taking away from your goofy magic.

  28. Jon Hamm can goof in my vagina anytime. #imsosososososorry

  29. Jon Hamm in picture: “What do you mean Mad Men is cancelled? [Nervous laugh] I get to keep the suits, right? I’m keeping the suits.”

  30. Jon Hamm in picture: “April Fools, everyone!!!” Oh, those damn pranks…

  31. Of everything you’ve ever posted on this website, I’ve never disagreed with a post more vehemently. Jon Hamm the goofball? My body says YES but my mind says YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS with puppy eyes and little keening sounds.

  32. I think it’s wild that in a post premised on John Hamm being a goof, no one has noticed that he’s eating lunch with Jack McBrayer!

  33. He’s a mad man!

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