There’s still lots of fun to have on this year’s Pony Day, but we must take a moment to pay tribute to the ponies that are no longer with us. Please shut up.

R.I.P. SWEET PRECIOUS PONIES! YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!

Comments (53)
  1. This post brought to you by Elmer’s.Glue.

  2. (Pours can of Colt 45 onto ground)

  3. To America’s fallen ponies: you are the figurative glue that holds this nation together and the literal glue that holds our nations arts and crafts together.

  4. A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
    And no one can talk to a horse of course
    That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Dead.

    (drops mike, bows, proudly walks off stage)

  5. Let’s take this time to remember that Sean Duffy doesn’t have an In Memorium pony video because Sean Duffy couldn’t afford his pony on $174,000 a year.

    Sean Duffy Pony Fund 2011 is accepting donations to make this man’s dream a reality.

  6. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little hoarse” – Some pony, somewhere.

  7. I’m confused about the idea of horse angels. Aren’t they basically just pegasuses? Pegasi?

    It’s all horsefeathers.

  8. Tupac was really into equestrian.

  9. There’s something sad about the thought that Gabe had to google “Dead Pony Videos” to create this post.

  10. It makes me smile to know that they’re in Horse Heaven now, running in a field with Barbaro and Peter Nincompoop.

    • Say what you will about Deadspin, but their coverage of the Barbaro fan message boards was classic: http://fetch.deadspin.com/#!barbaro

      “Barbaro, you are a horse. You can not read. These will not be read TO you. Nevertheless, show everyone how brave and noble you are for wanting to go out there and start mounting some mares. May your colts have firm and sturdy legs.” — age 23, St. Louis.

  11. I guess I’ll have to change the slogan for my Pony gang from’ Ponies Never Die’ to something else.

  12. No reason. Seemed appropriate.

  13. Serious question: why do pets have to die?

    • I’ve got in narrowed down:
      1) The world is harsh and unforgiving, immune to our need for the smallest amount of warmth and joy.
      2) There is no God, and if there was, he would be a sadistic, petty and vengeful one.
      3) Science.

  14. Not shown: Daniel Radcliffe’s naked bod.

  15. Goodbye, cruel world that kills ponies.

  16. OK Monsters, confession time:

    In middle school, there was a girl in my grade who everyone made fun of. Most of it was the usual, stupid, awful reasons, looks, clothes, things she liked. What needs confessing is that she had a horse. In this shitty, suburban town, she had a horse and she loved it, so so so much. Sure, the level of love was maybe a little weird, but what-fucking-ever. She had something she loved, that a lot of people probably wish they had and she fucking owned it. But everyone made fun of her for it in some really, really, mean ways.

    The confession is that I never, to my recollection, tried to make her feel better about it. I never made fun of her for it. I never made fun of her in general, I think she sort of considered me a friend even though I didn’t consider her one. I wimped out from making friends with the weirdo horse girl because my own social status was only a level or two above hers and I didn’t want to get dragged down. I regret this.

    #taxicabconfessiongum

  17. I’d like to take this moment and poor out a little liquor for the fallen pony, Hoof Hearted. You’re in the ultimate winner’s circle now.

  18. Well, sorry I’m late everyone, what’s the happs? What? PORNY DAY?

  19. As a vegan, this makes me sick.

  20. I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth by making Pony day shorter, but where is the Top Chef recap? I know everyone will say “Hold your horses!” Gabe is just horsing around with the Pony day posts.
    But I’m stubborn as a mule and need to see a top chef recap. So I’m hoping to hear it straight from the horses mouth whether or not Gabe will be posting a recap today.

    • Mules are not actually stubborn, they just have a high sense of self preservation. But I am with you…bring on the Top Chef recap. #iownamulegum


  21. Bye-bye, Bill.

  22. Stay gold, dead ponies. Stay gold.

  23. No sir, I don’t like it.

  24. Really? NO ONE’s bitching about “In memoriUm” being used for “In memoriAm”??

    I’m the ONLY Latin geek in the house??

    [so lonely...]

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