Google ChromeScreenSnapz002

Eesh. KIDS THESE DAYS! Back when I was his age we were too busy hauling coal (basically!) to let our Tea Party parents force us to record songs about their poorly informed belief system. I do like that he is always shown playing the piano whenever there is no piano to be heard in the song. And I also like when he says “the propaganda’s got to stop,” because that is both a normal sentiment for a 12-year-old to express, and it is also just a reasonable thing to say in a song that is itself blatant propaganda. And also this:

Haaaaa. It’s not very nice to make fun of children just because they were coerced into a situation they could barely understand by over-zealous parents with bad decision-making skills, but nice and hilarious are not the same thing.

Comments (106)
  1. “Why can’t you let America be great?” – Tea Party

  2. Back when you were his age, your tea party parents were actuakky involved in the eponymous Tea Party.

  3. Even worse than his parents indoctrinating him is that they spelled his name Kory

  4. I’m worried about Ark Music, you guys

  5. To be fair, when his parents asked him to join the Tea Party, he was picturing something very different:

  6. I mean, I know the song is called “Crying For America” and it’s supposed to be about America dying at the hands of liberals and illegal immigrants, or whatever, but this kid looks too fucking sad. He looks sad like his puppy was held hostage until he did this video. He looks sad like someone has had his sister in a headlock for the last 12 hours. He looks sad like he’s stuck in a house with parents he doesn’t necessarily agree with but can’t openly disagree with because of the fear he will be disowned and excommunicated. He looks sad like someone who has little to no opportunity to play with other children who might think about kid stuff and make each other laugh once in a while, instead of adults who moan, complain, picket and pundit 100% of the time.

    • When I yell and insult someone and make up facts that are really only illogical opinions, and they tell me I am being an asshole, can I just tell them that I am “punditing”?

  7. There is nothing more American than rhyming America with America.

  8. “America was better when we had slaves” -This Song

  9. “i was crying for america like 5 years ago” – liberal hipster

    • Maybe we have Kory all wrong. Maybe Kory Shore is just upset that tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens have yet to be taken away, or that our educational system struggles to get proper funding, or that our urban populations are predominantly made of poor black & Hispanic people who struggle to earn a living wage, or that more kids than ever are coming from single-parent homes and in many cases have never met their father before. Or maybe he’s upset about the rising cost of health care, or that nobody involved in the sub-prime mortgage crisis ever went to jail. Or maybe he’s upset about our never-ending obsession with celebrity gossip. Or is it fast food? Oprah? Pro athletes who make $20 million a season? Greed? Racism? Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Obesity? Our addiction to oil? Crumbling infrastructure? Lack of jobs? Wars against the Middle East? Maybe this is why he’s crying for America?

    • Speaking of hipster:

      “Kory is aware of current events and has downloaded the Constitution app on his iPhone.”

      ACTUAL WORDS TAKEN FROM THE OFFICIAL SUMMARY UNDER THIS VIDEO.

  10. “Where have all the great men gone? All I see are lying fools tearing up the golden rules.”

    It’s a good thing these people don’t actually know anything about Thomas Jefferson. It would blow their fucking minds.

    • Also, I feel like he’s paraphrasing Paul Cole for added gravitas. He just replaced great men for cowboys, because obviously they’re the same thing.

  11. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COUNTRY?” – this 12 year old

    • “What happened to my silly bandz?”

    • I know, right? There’s this other 12 year-old making the web-rounds because he’s challenging Einstein’s theory of relativity and being offered a research position at a university, yet he also does stuff any kid would like play Halo even though its rated for Mature audiences. Granted he’s got a 170 IQ, but that just kind of proves a point that when it comes to this kind of thought process it ain’t S-M-R-T, smart.

  12. “”Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Bee tee dubs, this will sound much better and less stuffy when we have a synth bed under it. ‘ — The Crisis by Thomas Paine.

  13. I’m crying because Kory is wearing cargo pants. EW!

  14. I was really, really hoping that “Don’t keep us from the mountaintop” was going to be “from the moon.” I am disappointed.

  15. Also, it’s cool he got his theater director to dramatically interpret the bridge.

  16. Maybe his parents should spend less time teaching him Tea Party conspiracy theories and more time on math. People are clearly not that big in proportion to Mt. Rushmore. What a dummy!

  17. Shouldn’t the song title credit those brief (but killer) guest lines?

    “Crying for America” – Kory Shore (ft. T.Paine & George “Dolla Bill” Washington)

  18. Glenn is crying with you:

  19. I haven’t voiced much opinion on the Rebecca Black thing, I didn’t really differentiate it from the other tween stuff that makes me feel ancient (that in itself confirms my ancientness, “Justin Biefron?”) but this flag noise backwards garbage has made me realise that it is, in fact, people like Rebecca Black that makes America great.

    Yes, I am saying apoliticalism is what makes America great. Am I wrong?

  20. When he sings “is my generation”, totally thought he was going to drop an F-bomb, but then went with the wussed out “out of luck” Missed opportunity there. Also, Thanks, Video, for letting me know I can get this sweet song on iTunes.

  21. Laugh at homeschoolers all you want, homeblogger. I’m not going to say my parents weren’t a little overzealous, but I am ALSO not going to say that I wasn’t reading my text books in bed while the rest of you were dodging spit wads on the school bus.

    • That said, homeschooling is probably the single biggest cause of mindless GOP Tea Party mini-me zombie clones in this country and this song is a piece of paranoid-as-fuck garbage.

    • “Socialization is Evil!” – Me (dodging spit wads, making friends)

    • “Laugh at homeschoolers all you want” Ha ha. Done.
      “while the rest of you were dodging spit wads on the school bus”. Apparently the world turns into an episode of “The Adventures of Pete and Pete” when you leave the home(school)?

  22. More importantly; KORY SHORE?

    Is that a real name? Or a stage name like Madonna, Elton John or The Pope?

    ‘Whatever happened to real American names? Like Sacajawea or Crazy Horse?’ – Me, after wine & history class

    • Never forget.
      -Assholes.

      • Not that this has anything to do with anything, but I wanted to share. One of the coolest thing I ever learned in my black history class was that the original Statue of Liberty had shackles around her ankles. The USA was all loosening their ties and pulling their collars and was all yea we can’t put that up like that cause, well, you know.

  23. This makes me hate everything.Yes, everything.

  24. Stand up and spread your wings, you stupid America bird, sitting on the ground with your wings all folded.

    Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin, and George Washington were great founding fathers and all, I guess, but they’re pretty weak MCs.

  25. 1) that is the melody for Firework right? not sure if the mental image of a firework bra makes this better or worse. haha, jk. it’s better.

    2) “available on iTunes”

    • Kory is the Fireworst,
      Gone and let his weak voice burst,
      Made the monsters go “LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ”
      As he biffed on all his notes, notes, notes

  26. He makes so many Sad Keanu faces.

  27. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  28. There’s no crying in America!

  29. The VP? It’s Bernie Mac, right?

  30. This guy gets it:

  31. You guys, we can be friends with Kory Shore on Facebook. Of course now that I know this, I feel like that sleeveless Ron Swanson guy from the videotape.

    http://www.facebook.com/KoryShore

  32. Good decision to go with the corpse skin tone filter for the “unecessary piano” location.

  33. that little girl knows what’s up!

  34. On his YouTube channel, Kory claims that he’s the next version of Justin Bieber. Except that Bieber never wrote awkward, depressing odes about politics.

    I cannot believe I just complimented Justin Bieber.

  35. What a weird day in Pleasantville.

  36. Definitely thought he was gonna follow “i wonder where we’ll all wind up” with “is our generation fucked?”
    That would have made it less not good.

  37. The last ten seconds is worth sitting through all that.

  38. Judging by some of those high notes, this song is not the only thing that Kory is dropping.

  39. also, i’m crying/dying for that awful fake piano playing. NICE TRY, KID.

  40. I’m sorry. I’m new here. Last try?


  41. America…. FUCK NO!!!

  42. Microsoft Songsmith must PAY for this!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.