The more I think about this whole Chris Brown on Dancing with the Stars thing, the worse it feels. His album debuted at #1 this week, what more publicity does showbiz need to offer him? The man is a convicted rageaholic! I would understand it if Dancing with the Stars had already featured EVERY SINGLE OTHER SINGER AND DANCER IN THE WORLD, in which case naturally their hands would be tied. Got 2 keep thingz fresh! 4 tha kidz! If Dancing with the Stars had featured every single other singer and dancer in the world and then invited Chris Brown to perform, I would be like, got it. But that means this guy should have gone first. Get this guy on there! In all honesty, I would actually watch an episode of Dancing with the Stars (my first!) if this guy was on. (Admittedly, I do not actually know whether or not this drunk old man dancing to a local band’s cover of a Led Zepplin song at some kind of street fair has ever punched his girlfriend in the face in a rented Lamborghini [lol] before leaving her for dead and running off into the night. If he has done something like this, then it would make sense for Chris Brown to appear on Dancing with the Stars one episode before him. That order would make sense.) (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

Comments (37)
  1. Dear sweet sweet Man,

    Please be my grandfather. You can teach me all the dance moves including the ones involving my beer.

    Sincerely,

    Everyone

  2. What, exactly, is ‘Sweet’ about this old man?

  3. He has Geritol of My Love.

  4. “Hey man, just because I had a litlle som som to drunk doesnt mean I’m drink! Also punching Betty White joke.”

  5. It turns out the major difference between this guy and Chris Brown is that this guy owns his own Lamborghini.

  6. I actually don’t mind Chris Brown being on Dancing With The Stars. It’s a garbage program. It’s the television equivalent of Taco Bell. I think this is preferable to some program documenting his “road to redemption,” which would probably involve Dr. Drew. I wouldn’t mind if he AND Rihanna both disappeared from the spotlight, but if he’s getting publicity, this is probably the most tolerable venue I could imagine.

  7. Remember how Zeppelin fellated that girl with a shark in a rented (lol) hotel room?

  8. Oh these silly old people, trying to connect with the younger generation by linking the music they’ve always liked.

    • That’s what I was going to point out. I feel like we’re supposed to be surprised and all “man, this old person is cool for listening to such a non-old person type of music,” but Led Zeppelin released their first album over forty years ago…

      • It’s less about being surprised that he likes old music, more being surprised that he can absolutely bring it on the dance floor.

        I wish I had moves like that. Instead I awkwardly flail. Or do the ‘can opener’.

  9. Keep it coolin’ baby, ideed!

  10. I’m pretty sure he’s just having a flashback to the time he hijacked & crashed a zeppelin into a lead factory; he made it out alive, fought his way back over the border and into America (he swam) but the memory (and the moves) have forever stayed within him…..

    • I don’t like to criticize anyone unless he or she is a murderer or a rapist or a girlfriend-abusing rapper with persistent anger issues, but ‘The Kelly Family’ scare the hell out of me.

  11. Now this is how internettin’ should be done. All smiles.

  12. Gabe, I am beginning to doubt your claim that you were a spry 40 when Led Zeppelin was in its prime due to your inability to spell Led Zeppelin. Step it up, son.

  13. This reminds me…I need to drink more beer.

  14. yikes… that drum fill. is that the Zack Attack playing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jJcEtUzA6A

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