Photos
UHHHHHHHHHHH WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS? Good grief. There are enough people in this video that you would think at least one of them, just one of them, would have stopped for a second, turned to the others, and said, Hey, what if we didn’t make this? That being said, out of all the products that you could try to sell with a horrifying fake rap, somehow adult braces that are supposed to be invisible but are definitely only invisible to the delusional people who are wearing them seems like a pretty decent fit! (Other products that would probably benefit from an unsettling and seemingly unaware fake rap recorded by nightmares: Bluetooth headsets. Dockers. That’s it.) Anyway, with Mad Men currently on the ropes, or whatever, this week’s Caption Contest is a little unusual! Come up with an advertising slogan for Invisalign that would go with this terrible, TERRIBLE video. Today YOU are Don Draper! You should treat women better!
Winner will receive a drinking problem a divorce special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Good luck, racists! (Thanks for the tip, Richard.)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 Check Out Mr. Cool Dentist |  This “I Hate My Asshole” Video Says A Lot |  I’m Worried About Bam Margera, You Guys |  A Few Questions About TLC’s Extreme Cougar Wives |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
Invisalign: Where’s the teef?
I’m worried about Justin Bieber, you guys.
I’m worried about That One’s reply button, you guys.
Invisalign: The Cure for the Common Awful Fake Rap
So that’s why Eminem is so angry all the time.
Invisalign: Just don’t do it.
Invisalign: For when you can’t stop clenching your teeth to keep from punching your speakers.
Invisalign: 4 out of 5 hookers with terrible gag reflexes recommend it.
Confession: I did not watch past that moment.
Chet Haze: “I used Invisalign for just two weeks. And now my teeth are nice and white. And purple.”
They’re no Rebecca Black.
Invisalign: The fact that our brand name is an anagram of “Vis Nil Gain” is pure coincidence.
Invisalign: Vagisil Inn
Dear Madam or Sir,
I read your posting with great interest. Are there employment opportunities available at your Inn?
Best,
Mr.Ladypantz
Invisalign: Maybe she’s born with it. Nope, there’s a lot of that she wasn’t born with.
Invisalign: Grows bacteria better than agar.
Invisalign: Because you’re worth…nevermind.
Invisalign: Because someone suggested it and you were like, “I dunno. Seems kinda stupid” but then you gradually convinced yourself that it was a good idea and that it would “appeal to the kids.”
Invisalign: It’s this or college, kid.
Wait, THIS is what’s holding up Mad Men?
“Those ain’t marrying teeth!” -some monster last year.
I would just like to point out that Jessica Paré was in Hot Tub Time Machine. She was the topless woman who was with Craig Robinson in A hot tub, not THE hot tub.
Some how this is much more degrading. Getting those tooth paste boxes rubbed *shudder* on her is… well lets just say I can painfully see the un-ironic thought process behind it all and it makes me sad all over.
I actually did not watch the video until just now and having now witnessed the horror of it all, I must concur, this is a dental funeral dirge.
A perfect solution to Mad Men’s product placement disputes.
A series finale twist, which reveals that everyone on the show is so impossibly beautiful because they’ve all been wearing clear plastic braces since 1960 (“of course, such a complex and sophisticated product won’t be available to the general public until at least the 21st Century. They’ll probably call it Invisalign”)
And fade to sex.
I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.
(Note: this joke will only be funny to those 100 years old or older.)
Oh man, I work in marketing and I’ve been wearing Invisalign for two years, this caption contest was basically made for me.
But I can’t stop laughing.
I guess we all know what he was looking at now!
That’s a very big image!
that’s what he said to the 12-year-old
Plagiarist commentator!
Enter the Orthodontic Chambers Tracklist:
Protect Ya Teef
Clear Braces Ain’t Nuthin to Fuck With
C.R.E.A.M. (Corrective Mouthguards Rule Everything Around Me)
and my favorite Shame on a Nigga (For Not Flossing)
Invisalign: Ghost ride your teeth
Invisalign: Baby We Got Your Money
Da Listerines of Toothflossing
That’s a weird looking rape basement.
Invisalign: Huckabeast Watched About 13 Seconds of Our Ad!
Actually it’s even better, it’s an ad for a dentist in New York with some big star clients
http://www.glassmandentalcare.com/celebrities_page.html
that guy from Entourage
Zach Morris
http://www.glassmandentalcare.com/images/celebrities/dianesawyer.jpg
and poor Dianne Sawyer has turned black and white
No P.U.B.E.S. in your B.R.A.C.E.S.
These are way nicer than my old ones
Guh. I had HEADGEAR when I was 10. HEADGEAR! and my terrible orthodontist made me wear it DURING THE DAY. IN PUBLIC. We moved and went to a new guy and the new guy was like, why would he do that? i’m just giving you braces. Thanks new guy!
Terrible People. Perfect Teeth.
To appeal to the kid demo, they should introduce a new mascot: the Invisa-Lion
Seen above in his natural habitat, the tiny blue question mark. Let’s see if we can’t coax him out with a smile.
Invisalign: Brace yourself for something…super super embarrassing
Invisalign: Say ‘No’ to retaining (dignity)!
Invisalign: The best part of wakin’ up/ Is not immediately being sure if you’ve swallowed your braces or not!
True story: I wore those Crest white strips overnight once( before they made the overnight kind)cause they were kind of pricey and I wanted to get my money’s worth. I woke up the next morning and it was GONE. Not on my bed, no where to be found. I’m pretty sure I swallowed it and I felt really awful for weeks.
They’re not bad, they just need to work on their flow-ride.
I don’t have a caption, but I just wanted to clear something up.
Yep. Just checking.
Oh, THAT’S how you look cool wearing Invisalign. I’ve been doing it all wrong.
Like this video, Invisalign will make you slightly uncomfortable, but by the end of it you’ll feel superior.
Invisalign: It’s like braces you can take out whenever you want, and also they’re invisible. No, don’t worry, you’ll never lose them in plain sight EVERY SINGLE DAY YOU HAVE THEM.
Invisalign: Whites looking pearly, almost making up for the whites rapping poorly.
I thought it said “Good luck, rappists!” Which would make this video a case of rap-rap, no?
Now that my teef are fixed, Time To Get My Tan On!*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8QNQhyTotQ
http://www.celsiustan.com/Jingle_Downloads.php
Celsius Tannery (cool name!) making terribly catchy KC jingles since 2005.
*shoot me.
I don’t need no block or aftersun, I like it just the way I brown.
Setting: Interior of office, day. A 20-something girl sits at her computer.
Gobblegirl: “HOLY SHIT IS THAT MY DENTIST?”
The girl stares at her computer screen with a mixture of shock and disgust on her face. After a moment, the tension leaves her shoulders and she sits back.
Gobblegirl: “Phew! My dentist isn’t balding like that guy. And isn’t an orthodontist. What a relief…..Man, this video sucks.”
Invasilign: I like when she says, “What up, I’m Debra.”
My favorite part was when the guy poured some Listerine out in the sink. For his homies, obvs.
Dr. Debra has some SWAG flow going on there.
Look out, Chet Haze.
Invisalign: Love the way you smile.
What’s the opposite of BOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
“My first job, I was in house at a health and beauty-aids company with this old pro copywriter, Greek, named Teddy. And Teddy told me the most important idea in advertising dentistry is ‘rehashing a top-40 song from six months ago.’ Creates an itch. You simply put your product in there as a kind of calamine lotion. But he also talked about a deeper bond with the product, ‘banal’. It’s delicate, but potent.
Teddy told me that in Greek banal literally means using an Eminem song to sell braces. It’s a twinge in your gut far more powerful than bad fish dinner. This device isn’t just braces, it’s your daughter’s path to a life of regret trying to be an actress. Her career goes backwards, forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache never to go again.
It’s not called Invisalign , it’s called the Stage Mother. It lets us command those teeth to sit up straight and shine. Straighter and straighter until you are beautiful enough to know you are loved.”
This is so weird. Suddenly I have the urge to run off with you to California, where I will be loving and nurturing to you and two of your children, causing you to then make a hasty and ill-advised proposal of marriage. Since I will have visions in my head of me in a gleaming house in the suburbs instead of helping other secretaries cart old lady carcass out of the office, I will joyfully accept.
Later, one of your dearest friends will ask who the hell I am.
In other words, good caption.
Invisalign: This guy loves the way he smiles.
What’s the opposite of BOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
Who knew Awkward Teenage Braces Syndrome has nothing to do with age
Invisalign: Because those that don’t got mad skillz can still have mad grillz.
At least these people will have perfect dental records by which to be identified when the rest of their features are burned off in a terrible fire that was totally an accident
That nice blonde lady shouldn’t be doing that kind of thing…! SHE’S MARRIED!!!!!!
Yeah, that’s what you want. Associating overt sexual advances with your visit to the dentist.
Am I the only personal who didn’t totally hate this? I even chuckled when she gagged at the beginning. Maybe I am just less critical than usual today, but that was not the worst. (It was not the best, either, of course.) It was very mediocre? Like, a worthwhile try, especially considering that it seems to be made by mostly just that one dude? His YouTube profile is just a bunch of spoof videos. This is not, like, an Invisiline marketing push. If anything, it is a these-two-dentists push. (Dentists who happened to know Bieber Senior or whoever.)
there were a couple of parts where i see what you are saying. like, a couple parts where they were not taking it seriously, i.e. the guy making out with himself in the mirror.
but those moments still weren’t funny, and the other 99% of the video was even worse.
I don’t think the video is very funny or even well-written, but since it’s made by just a couple of amateurs and not a professional team under the umbrella of a corporation, I feel kind of like an asshole making fun of it. Like, it’s not completely oblivious to itself as a lame rap. It knows what it is. It comes across to me as some people having a genuinely good time being silly, and it’s a bit too absurd and (dare I say?) original for me to make easy cracks about it not being THE BEST.
I know Videogum has a long-standing tirade against fake rap (which I can generally get behind), but this thing has less than 3000 views on YouTube and doesn’t seem to be a real endorsement for any actual product or service, except Doctor Dentistface.
Am I just not seeing the awful?
Are you just not seeing the tooth paste boxes being rubbed on her body?
I do, but I think the director (haha, director) also saw that and didn’t think it was genuinely cool. My common sense tells me that he thought it was ridiculous and said, “yeah, let’s put it in because that’s ridiculous.”
Like, what is this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U6hMk6WMKI I mean, it’s obviously not a good idea, but it is definitely an IDEA, at least, and pretty well-executed for whatever it is supposed to be. Same thing with this Invisalign whatever-the-heck. The song is pretty well recreated and the video is shot with decent equipment and observable talent (all questions of taste aside). This is what we’re going to shit on?
Gabe has framed this as a video trying to sell a product, funded by a brand lamely cashing in on an old internet trend for profit/attention. I don’t perceive that to be true of this video and therefore I’m viewing it from the assumed context of some bad writers trying to be funny internet people and not exactly succeeding, but kind of succeeding because the final product is at least amusing in ways that they may or may not have predicted.
In any case, I’m now thinking about this way too much, but at least it is a welcome distraction to the term paper that is not writing itself.
I totally agree. They seem like they’re just goofing off, trying to have some fun . They just thought they might try something different and silly for a commercial and maybe make some people laugh and I bet they had a lot of fun making it. And being a dentist doesn’t really seem like the funnest job ever so good for them. Maybe it’s not that funny to everyone but come on there are better (or worse I guess?) things to make fun of than a married dentist couple trying to do something different.
fear of a plaque planet
and that’s the tooth!
i feel like this is somehow Chris Brown’s fault. or rather, I’d feel better about this if we could just blame Chris Brown.
Invisalign: Now with a vomit acid-resistant seal.
…Is this real life?
9/11 Toothers.
Invisalign! They’ll make you spit rhymes so mad they’re dental! Wait, what??
Invisalign: For teeth with low self esteem.
How does an orthodontic procedure manage to objectify a women more than a Katy Perry video?
Seriously?
I was gonna come up with a slogan, but when I saw the guy take a swig of mouthwash and then pour some out (I assume for his toothless homeys? I watched the video on mute.), I kind of gave up on it. And everything else as well. See you in another life, guys.
When I first started watching, I was thinking, “something something white people grills.”
But then there was a black guy, and I didn’t know what to think.
Ugh, shit on MY desk is more like it. Amirite those who know how to easily post a photo to their comments?
Shit on Debra’s desk though, seriously.
Mina Menard!
I’d rather flip through the Big Book of British Smiles than watch that again.
Invisalign: For people ugly on the inside (of their mouths)!
From the Upper West Side ad agency that brought you Dr. Zizmor….
Dr Zizmor was actually my roommate’s dermatologist back in the ’80s. He hasn’t aged in his subway ads since then, you know.
If you made it through the whole 3 minutes and 12 seconds of that video, wearing spitty, plastic, bulky “invisible” braces for 18 months will be a breeze for you. Welcome to the Invisalign family. – Dr. Debbie.
When my older brother and I were in high school we used to clean the invisalign/dentist offices in Houston and surrounding area. We would clean two offices twice a week and get $150 extra bucks. The head invisalign dentist was such a pretentious douche bag. He drove a viper and there was a sign in the parking lot at all locations saying “Viper Parking Only” in the design of a scary snake that looked like a Halloween mask. We parked in that spot every time we went there to clean. He always accused us of stealing little things like pens or paper clips. Then he accused us of stealing a soap dispenser and wasn’t going to pay us until it was returned or compensated. So we quit, but not before taking magic markers and drawing lightning, fire, or rainbows on all their nasty mouth moldings.
tl:dr: invisalign dentists can be pretentious jerks and don’t mess with angsty teens.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Hahahahaha. Okay.
booooooo
That would have been all in good fun if you stopped after “portraying.” But nope. Instead this happened.
my teeth have the weirdest boner right now (huh?)…
Glassman Dental Care: You don’t have to be crazy to work here… BUT IT HELPS!
Invisalign – “My dentist told me to simulate oral sex with it while he films it set to the song about abuse, and i thought that was a good idea”.
Invisalign: Takes the crooked out of your teeth and puts it in your soul.
Invisalign: Love the way your teeth lie about your genetics.
The guy at 2:13 has a good flow, though it might just be the context he is surrounded by.
Invisalign: Listen to this a-brace-ive rap song.
Alright great start to this commenting thing.
Some future stars work crappy day jobs at Thai Hut and Trader Joes between audtions for Idol or America’s Got Talent. Not THESE future stars!
[URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/view/2245944/tyra-vampire.html][IMG]http://www.gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=2245944&t=o[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/]GIFSoup[/URL]
Invisalign: If your erection is painful or lasts longer than 4 hours seek emergency medical attention.
Invisalign: Would you like to fill your retainer with nacho cheese or scotch before wearing it all day? Go ahead, beautiful, you’ve earned it.