I guess the Barefoot Contessa got in trouble with the blogs over the weekend when the mother of a sick child whose dying wish was to learn how to cook with Ina Garten published emails on-line about how Ina Garten had turned down the child’s request for the second (!!) time. Yoops! Yikes! There’s no such thing as bad publicity, but I guess now there is. (In Ina’s defense, some production assistant explained that Ina is very busy and is constantly bombarded with requests from charities, and that she does as much as she can, but she cannot fulfill every request, which fair enough, but also how about fulfilling this request, especially the SECOND time it is made? Obviously, our thoughts and prayers go out to Ina Garten in the difficult time when it turned out the child didn’t DIE EARLY ENOUGH to NOT make a second request to meet her? Also: if you are that busy, you are too busy, work it out, millionaire. Take a staycation.) ANYWAY, in response to the angry outcry, Ina Garten has magically found time in her busy charity schedule to spend, what, like, an hour tops with a very sick child? Well played, Ms. Garten. American Hero. (I’m still not really sure why anyone’s dying wish would be to meet Ina Garten, but I guess we are talking about a child. He is probably also very excited about the Smurfs movie! [Just kidding, even children do not want that thing.]) The question now is who does Ina Garten want to meet before SHE dies? (Her heart is 99% butterfat.)

“Bam!” — Emerol Langasso

Comments (71)
  1. “I’ve just sent Jeffrey on a quest to find only the best six-year-old leukemia patient. Let’s hope he pulls through.”

  2. Ina Garten would like to meet someone who makes a comfortable pair of shoes.

  3. Well, she’d better put on some shoes before she meets this kid, because I’m sure her dirt-ridden barefeet are full of germs.

  4. Not every chef can be as cool as Richard Blais, Gabe!

  5. In related news a dying 6 year old boy has requested that Rachel Ray not come to his beside under any circumstances

  6. Who does Ina Garten want to meet before SHE dies?

    Luckily, she really wanted to meet a sick child, which is why she agreed to meet with the kid. What I’m saying is the Barefoot Contessa does not have long to live.

  7. He probably just wanted to get her to sign a copy of her memoir, Ina Garten: a Vida

  8. I think she wants to meet a straight man. Seeing, as, if her show is to be believed, she only knows gay men. I’m including her husband in that group.

  9. I know who I want to teach me to cook for MY dying wish.

    amiright fellas?

  10. Also, tell Make-A-Wish that I have acute male-pattern baldness and would like nothing more than GIada DeLaurentiis to let me watch her stir a pot of something for like 5 minutes.

  11. “Ina Garten of TV, baby, don’t you know that I love you?” – I. Ron. Butterfly

  12. “…but at the time, she was unable to meet with Enzo due to a book tour. The organization urged Enzo to pick another wish, but he told them he wanted to wait until she becomes available.”

    Hear that? The TERMINALLY ILL CHILD says, “no no, it’s cool, I’ll wait. Please don’t let my DYING interfere with your 7:30 reading down at the Borders Express.”

  13. No I just wanted to go IN a GARDEN. You know, plant some things

  14. Guess Snu’s back?
    Excellent product placement! Ever dreamed of meeting your favorite star? We’ve got your ticket…

    • I’m not a Snus advocate or anything, but the cancer rates for habitual users of Swedish Snus are incredibly low, at least 90% lower than those for smokers.

  15. For my dying wish I would like Alton Brown and Michael Symon to fight to the death in a smug-off.

  16. Paula would never let this happen.

  17. I’m glad someone has finally stood up to all these dieing children with all their unreasonable demands.

  18. Guess this is just further evidence of the videogum hypocrisy in so much as it was my dying wish to guest host the blog but Gabe ignored me and now I’m dead. (repeat sound effect: dead dead dead)

    • Are you Sucker Punch?

    • We’ll miss you Steve, have fun asking the angels if they aborted their kids

    • say hi to all the spider mommies in heaven that got eaten by their babies!

    • yall see that lifetime movie “homecoming” starring mischa barton of OC fame? at the end of the movie she (spoiler alert) is laying there dead and covered in blood when suddenly she opens her eyes as if to say she will rise from the non dead and continue to wreak havoc and mischief

    • Actually, I tried finding you to talk to you about guest blogging, but you never wrote me back. Send me an email. Or at the very least, STOP CRYING.

      • what? I received no message from you so now you are both a liar and a hypocrite just kidding. I know that there were impersonators of me on the facebook and twitter imposters that were posing as me but I dont do social networking, thats for losers

  19. I’ve always thought Ina would make a good aunt, one that you see about 2 weeks out of the year when she invites you to her home in the Hamptons and makes amazing food for you. But come on kid, if you have to have one chef cook for you before you die, Ina Garten, really?

  20. Is her name really Ina Garten? She should marry Danny DeVito and have Iron Butterfly play at the wedding.

  21. So, if this is the last post of the day, I would like to use this space to issue a retraction about my previous statement about Mans. Because HOLY AWESOMESAUCE your “Sucker Punch” review is incredible. That movie has been trashed in some great ways but that was another level. Insert slow clap .gif here, my good man.

  22. I feel like Barefoot is a little TOO proud to have so many gay friends, you know? And a little too proud of her award-winning garden? And maybe a little too proud when she has photographers over to capture her picturesque food? And mmmmmaybe just a wee too proud when she mentions all the places she vacations & all the friends she and Jeffery have. And maybe, just maybe, just a smidge too proud of her beloved husband, the aforementioned Jeffery, who I may have mentioned is named Jeffery and is her husband, whom she likes to mention on occasion. Jeffery.

  23. Has anyone called her the Barefoot Cuntessa yet?

  24. It seems desperate if you respond to a dying kid’s first two e-mails. Well played, Contessa; well played.

  25. I was sad when I heard this. I like her roasted broccoli.

    Speak truth to power, Gabe! Take on Big Barefoot Contessa!


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