After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the Chet Haze Caption Contest winner, and the Guest Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Shepard | Mar 23rd Score:95

LGBTV: Lovers of Glenn Beck Television

Posted in: What Should Glenn Beck Name His Cable Network?
#4 R2D2, Esq. | Mar 23rd Score:100

Dear Gabe,

But he promised he’ll never do it again! You just don’t know him like I do. Sometimes, when we’re alone, he can be so sweet. I really think he’s gonna change this time.

Yours truly,

Good Morning America

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#3 Godsauce | Mar 21st Score:110

I do not doubt that a blogger who asks every other viral video star to be his dad has father issues.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
#2 pennyarcade | Mar 23rd Score:113

“Let’s see…if I just delete “brown” from my username, no one will know it’s me…”

Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation
#1 Steve Winwood | Mar 21st Score:117

here’s what I hate about zack braff: he produced this movie for one reason and one reason only and that was to kiss my future bride natalie portman, who can never be un-kissed by this ugly chinless Mr. Alternative Quirk balls.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State

[Ed. note: This has to be the first time Steve Winwood has gotten the highest rated comment of the week (if not his first time in the Top 5?) Congratulations, Steve Winwood. If you were punk rock and the commenting community was the mainstream, they just bought the rights to use you in a bluejeans commercial!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

chris | Mar 23rd Score:-88
I feel bad for/actually like Chris Brown. I think his anger problems are the result of a rough childhood or something(?) and he’s just no good at handling them, like a lot of people. Plus, he makes some really good songs. No bullshit.
Posted in: An Open Letter To Good Morning America Concerning The Chris Brown Situation

[Ed. note: Chris, I'm sorry, I honestly don't think you deserve this position. Your comment was relatively low-key and thoughtful, and despite Chris Brown's awful behavior, there isn't anything particularly bad about having sympathy for someone with misogynistic rage issues. Those probably DO come from a traumatic experience in his past! It doesn't excuse his behavior, but saying that you feel bad for someone who has to struggle with whatever kind of insecurities and personal demons that go along with that seems pretty reasonable to me. Also, Chris Brown HAS recorded some decent songs. He's a very successful pop musician, and some of that is legitimate. He's just also a complete fucking nightmare. But Chris's comment was nothing like, say, this shit. Let's all keep things in perspective here.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

lawblog | Mar 22nd Score:84

I like Chet Haze, but only iron-ically.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Chet Haze Ironing

[Ed. note: Congratulations, lawblog. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

That One | Mar 23rd Score:32

“Inspiring.” -Hugh Jackman

Posted in: I Ain’t Gonna Pee-Pee My Bed Tonight

[Ed. note: It is a well-known fact that I simply cannot resist a joke about Hugh Jackman peeing his pants. I love 'em!]

Comments (131)
  1. Great week monsters!

    Our first monsters ball since heaven got a little more Liz Taylor.

    Monster question: Who’s your favourite actor and/or actress?

  2. Looks like Chris now has the fourth lowest voted comment of all time. If you exclude lowest-voted comments where commenters were essentially asking for downvotes, Chris has the second lowest voted comment of all time.

    Not that this is the second worst comment in the history of Videogum…I think Chris caught the wrong post at the wrong time.

    On a separate note, this is actually Steve Winwood’s second #1 comment and his third time in the top five.

  3. Hey Chicago (and Chicago adjacent) monsters. Don’t be glum if you can’t attend the fancy NYC 3rd Anniversary Party with special guests and doilies. We’ve got our own celebration and IT’S ALL FREE! RSVP via Facebook: here

    • I will be there! I will truly miss the whole thing that happened last year where each monster showed up at the bar, sheepishly sidled up to our table and said, “Um, M-m-monsters???”

  4. Dance Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Spurned again!!!! Why God!? Whyyy?!?!?!

    Maybe I need to be funnier, post more, be more incisive, produce witty puns and remarks and post hilarious images…..BUT WHY GOD WHYY?!?!?!

    BUT GOOD JOB EVERYONE! No hard feelings (well, only a few, but they’re softening….)

  6. Someday I will win a caption and garner an EGOT. Until then I will wait here patiently.

  7. “Fugly old bag of wrinkles” just became my new favourite insult. I can’t wait to try it out this weekend.

  8. Dont know if we have any Deadwood fans in the house (the house = the commentator community) but as I continue to re-watch all the episodes over and over again one thought keeps occurring to me:

    E.B. Farnum = Republicans
    Fuckin Merrick (the rotund newspaper douche) = Democrats

    E. B. is awfully craven and venal. Merrick is a huge effette goober like Martin Prince on the Simpsons.

    Case closed.

  9. this is my most favorite, most stupidest thing

  10. Cheer me up guys, because those tweets about Robin Roberts made me want to harm myself!

  11. happy (prince kuhio) friday

  12. I was into steve winwood before he was mainstream

  13. This sums up my week.

  14. YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! EVERYBODY! YOU GUYS! I’m pretty sure I got my videogum best this week with 65 upvotes! On a single comment!

  15. Hey, I made it into the ball, awesome.

    I doubt anyone will read this due to it being at the bottom of the page, but thanks for the upvotes, guys.

  16. I am making a fort out of human skin, but I need your help for some necessary items. These include: Bucket. Lotion. Also, a place to dispose of the in-between.

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