Oh man. I hope this is a joke.

From the “Forts and the In-Between” website:

We are a group of four young and passionate daydreamers from San Diego, California, with hopes of growing and sharing in a bigger story. We’ve been building forts as an art practice for the past few years and the public has gravitated towards them with breathtaking support and encouragement. People of all ages and interests have encouraged us to keep creating these forts as a way of building community, both here in San Diego and anywhere else we possibly can.

Oh, also this:

Our first focus is building forts.
For us, to build a fort is to create a safe space where we can freely use our imaginations and be ourselves; a space where we can relate to each other and ask questions. By acting on those questions, a fort becomes the starting place for an experience that will empower and grow both us and our communities into something exceptional. These forts inspire us to live brilliantly, profoundly, and generously.

This is a joke? LOL? Good joke? Hahaha? FUUUUUUUUUUU.

Look, as someone who believes in young people doing their best to make the world a better place and who enjoys the idea of supportive communities that bolster creativity and the overall quality of life for the individual as a meaningful counterpoint to the misguided “individualism” of the 1990s, I obviously support some of the basic precepts that this group claims to promoting. Yay! Let’s have fun! Sometimes the weather is nice outside! Let’s make a website!

But fucking forts? We should all be so lucky as to appreciate NOT BEING SIX YEARS OLD ANYMORE.

Also, what is all this “feeling safe to use your imagination” nonsense? Who doesn’t feel safe using their imagination? Cowards! Honestly, if you don’t feel safe using your imagination unless you have three friends come to your living room and help you built a binkie-fort, you don’t DESERVE an imagination. I am of the Captain EO and Neverending Story schools of imagineering. I believe that it is through the power of the imagination that we will vanquish the evil 3D space queens of the junkyard planet, and that abreast a mighty make-believe Falcor, we will force those bullies to jump in a goddamned dumpster. “Gabe, isn’t terrorizing a group of bullies just because now you are the one with an imaginary bubblegum dragon kind of just reverse-bullying?” Yes it is. NOW GET IN THAT DUMPSTER BULLIES. Quickly, too. I’ve got a yarn and felt fort full of pussies to BURN TO THE GROUND. (Admittedly, this may be why they do not always feel safe using their imaginations. But maybe they shouldn’t feel safe using their imaginations, since the best their imaginations could come up with was FORT CLUB.)

Get a job, everyone. (Thanks for the tip, cakeordeath.)

Comments (167)
  1. No tip love?

  2. I prefer hide and seek

  3. Basically the Cliff Notes version of Stuff White People Like, right?

  4. Sounds like someone is still bitter over that “No Gabes Allowed” rule.

  5. Which came first: THIS or the Community fort episode?

  6. Fort Movies:

    Fort Gump

  7. You’re right, this is so lame. Totally lame.

    *starts plans to build a fort after work*

  8. If you think those forts are great, you should see them build a tweehouse.

  9. Chill out, grandpa!

  10. I already have a fort. It’s called my apartment.

  11. Try a little harder, guys. Not sure those glasses or that mustache really get the point across.

    • After watching a bit more, it’s clear these guys are doing this to be around the girls. I can’t wrap my head around why in god’s name the girls are there, but I consider 1/2 of this equation solved.

  12. “Get a job, everyone.” -Blogger

    #justsayin’

  13. ADULT FORT-BUILDING!? This is going to be more popular than Adult Thumb-Sucking and Adult Nose-Picking put together!

  14. We hope your imagination has been sparked to create something wonder-filled. We hope you and your community grow to be exceptional. We hope you act boldly, brilliantly, and profoundly, to create something to put your time, imagination, and passions to the fullest potential. He hope you will quit your jobs to film your friends jumping off cliffs and getting hurt so we can watch it on youtube later, you know, from our forts. And we hope your pseudo-bohemian hipster vests don’t get too dirty in the process.

  15. Building a fort is all well and good, but when do you think was the last time any of these “adults” changed a tire? Changed light bulb? Did anything physical that didn’t involve pillows and blankets?

  16. Somebody needs to revoke all these kids’ licenses, take their fancy cameras and their hipster clothes, and throw them into prison in Rio de Janiero. They need to get out of their Peter Pan syndromed lives, now.

  17. I made a fort at work last week and I refuse to feel guilty (or hipster-ish) about it!

  18. i just can’t be the only person who read “fart club” when they first saw the post headline. right?

    do you guys want to start a fart club? darn tootin’!

  19. Don’t worry Gabe, it’s probably not real, cause they all look like a joke!

  20. The first rule of Fort Club is that you must use your imagination to empower and grow our community.
    The second rule of Fort Club is no Droid phones.

  21. One time I made out with a girl who invited me to build a fort with her. IN COLLEGE.

  22. wow. i have mixed feelings about this. i like what they’re trying promote, and while they are infinitely better than these assholes http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1719082013/all-my-friends-documentary
    it seems like they’re doing a similar “who will fund my roadtrip” kind of thing.

    • That makes me so upset that I’m actually punching the air at my desk. I mean really?! They had 63 people donate $5300 to send these assholes to see LCD Soundsystem because they love their music and in particular really love that song?! It’s just not okay!

  23. That is not water you’re jumping into!! You’re going to break an ankle! You can’t imagine away the ground!

  24. I just realized that newscaster from earlier was probably raised on a fort.

  25. Looks kind of fun. Just sayin’.

  26. I hope those blankets were vintage or else they will lose all cred.

  27. is anyone else bothered by them RIPPING apart that hill? way to foster and add to your community, assholes.

  28. Ugh. I hate everything about this. Their vague language, their wide-eyed optimism, their whiteness. Does this mean that I am a jaded shriveled husk of unimaginative humanity, with no hope for an escape from this pit of pessimism?

    • NO–because with a world full of tsunamis and nuclear disaster in Japan, violent civil unrest in almost all of the Mid-east, workers rights being eroded, et al., it’s a little more than naive (read: insulting) for these jerks to think that happy time blanket forts are going to save the day.

  29. hold up i know those guys! oh wait no, they’re just unoriginal carbon copies of every person who goes to NYU, my b.

  30. Next time I go to visit my grandparents over the holidays and they ask what I’m doing with my life and why I’m not a doctor yet, I’ll submit to them this video and say, “At least I’m not doing this.” And then they’ll lecture me on the demonic qualities of the internet.

  31. I want to punch these people. Repeatedly. In the head. Shave off their mustaches. Remove the stupid glasses. Drag them to the projects and tell them to build a fucking house for people before they build forts.

  32. Do the forts come equipped with a DVD player and a copy of Garden State?

  33. Ok so I may or may not have, um, a “friend” (definitely not me) who is going to a fort-related party tomorrow. I assume that this “friend” will be quite “empowered” (read: drunk) as a result.

  34. “It’s a hard knox life, fort us…”

  35. I can’t react to most hipsters playing childish games with anger. I’m too jealous that they have enough leisure time to partake in them so often. I wish I could be a (wo)manchild, making forts all day. Someone else pay my bills and exercise away my fat, please.

  36. Forts, forts, forts. Why is nobody talking about the in-between?

  37. OK, here’s mine…

    What happens now? Do we have a war or something?

  38. I’m really disappointed in Bing’s results for “Adult Assholes”.

  39. First of all: ouch
    Second: fake

  40. Fuck, Del Preston’s going to win this year’s Videogum Song Contest too.

  41. If they were to just cross the train tracks from that area in Cardiff where they were jumping down the hill, they would have been pummeled by the hardcore local surfers.

  42. Freshmen year of college some of my friends and I built a blanket fort in the lobby of our dormitory.
    Everyone called us assholes.
    They were pretty much right.

  43. You’re not allowed to wear those glasses AND be sincere. It’s one or the other, guys.

  44. Listen, forts are frickin cool and fun. That’s it. Why do people have to ruin awesome things by acting like other people don’t think they are awesome and then trying to make them “powerful” and “meaningful.”

    My sort of whatever lady friend (shut up, it’s complicated) and I are discussing building a fort next time we are in the same state, but not because anything these fools said but because it would be a fun place to spend a day eating and fucking.

    • only if by eating you’re talking about teddy-grahms and by fucking you’re talking about… not teddy-grahms.

      • So far the food list is tea, coffee, bacon, cookies, apples, and cheese. Fort=adventure. Adventure requires provisions.

        • Whys that? I didn’t watch the whole thing, couldn’t bear it.

          Public space? I can defend forts there and still hate these people. I’ve a friend who build a huge cardboard fort (you could crawl through it and it had places to sit and everything) on the walking mall in Burlington (sing hey, Chaka Khan’s Mom) and he did it for one reason. Fun. People like fun. Fun is good. On it’s own. No need to get all serious.

      • Yeah pt. I really don’t think it’s exactly open season on the fort fucking where these peoplsters build.

    • Does your girlfriend live in Niagara Falls? Cus mine lives there too. Next door to all the girls I had sex with in high school…

    • That’s my problem with this (and hipsters in general) as well. They take it and themselves so seriously.
      Just have a good time, people! It’s okay to just like the things you like, and let others like the things they like (except Juggalos)! Not everything needs a manifesto!

      (As for provisions, crackers and cheese and sliced apples are a good choice. And Prince is right, don’t forget the teddy grahams). Have fun in your fuck-fort!

      • Thank you! I’ll be honest, the hipster accusation gets tossed at me pretty often, but it then gets resolved because I’m rarely taking myself seriously, instead of just doing whatever ’cause it’s fun or because I care about it. Also, my group of friends is a scattered, foolish, sceneless bunch.

        I’ll add the teddy grahams. Though I don’t know when we’ll be able to build the fort as I don’t even know when we’ll be in the same time zone again.

    • Yeah that’s what sucks about this, I love forts. Who doesn’t really? I had a loft bed in my old apartment and I always put up sheets around it to make it like a fort inside. It was so fun to just chill and bone in there. But these a-holes….

      “Can building a fort be the start of a conversation that grows you and your community into something exceptional?” No. It can’t. And it doesn’t need to.

      And then this ‘in between’ thing. UGH.

      • “Can building a fort break up some boredom and maybe even a bad mood?” “Yes.” “Is a fort a great place to smoke a bowl on a rainy Saturday?” “Yes.”

        I congratulate you on your fort-building. The above questions are what led me to my last completed fort.

  45. Oh this just makes me so furious. They want to cook a meal for a hungry person and share in their story? Fuuuuuuuck yoooouuuuuu! Fucking volunteer at an established soup kitchen, or gtfo.

    I have a right to ask someone for money. That person has the right to say no. But if the answer is yes, then he or she does not have a say in determining how the money is spent.

    I find it insulting and infuriating that they assume that a hungry person (already reduced to asking for money for food, and obvs HUNGRY and somewhat desperate) would want to spend more than 30 seconds of time with them and their precious, entitled and privileged quest to live “brilliantly” (W.T.F.). Ugh.

    /sorry
    //rant over

    • I found a great spot for my fort. It’s under this highway overpass. I know it’s a good spot because all these other people built forts there. Out of cardboard boxes and shopping carts. I can’t wait to share in their stories!

    • Marie Antoinette built a fake peasant village at Versailles. She would dress up like a milkmaid and look at cows, pretending to be poor. The place was ornately decorated; porcelain and silk. She did this to get away from her difficult life as pampered queen of France.

      These overprivileged noodlebrains remind me of that.

  46. In Britain they’re called Fortorries. ….. No? Ok.

    Un.. eh-hem…fortunately, that’s all I got.

  47. This is a joke right? They are wearing just frames and jumping off cliffs into grass!? That’s still dangerous!

  48. what the fuck is the inbetween?

  49. They need to start a Broken Coccyx Club. Let’s all jump off hillsides rumps-first!

    • I’m relieved that it looks like they won’t be coming any further east in Canada than Montreal, which means they won’t be tying up the emergency rooms of the Maritimes.

  50. Secret Blanket Hipster Sex Orgy Camps.

  51. Gay and I hope fake. And who would give these dodo brains any of their hard earned money so they can drive around the country building forts and talking like that? As if.

  52. I am all for fortbuidling, but the second their faces popped up I wanted to punch them all. I honestly couldn’t watch past a minute. These people are terrible.

  53. ALSO: clearly these guys have no idea what playclothes look like. Who wears shirts and ties to roll down hills? Lame.

    • Yea. If they REALLY wanted some ironic playclothes, I know where they could get some.

    • OK, I’m going to step in and disagree here. I really, really, want a set of shirts and ties and vests that I don’t care if I ruin playing in, because, when I am wearing such clothes, and play opportunities arise, I’ve been known to not turn them down, and found it immensely fun to play in such clothes, but I always hold back a little, so I do want to be able to go whole hog on it sometime.

  54. Could not make it past 4:10. They used their 8 favorite verbs too many times. And each use was transitive, so they got even less out of those uses than if they had overused verbs with subjects. Act what? Empower what? Use ‘em that many times, you use ‘em up, they’re gone. I don’t care one way or the other about your forts, they’re cute, whatevs (though I am glad to see how many commenters here are as concerned as I about their collective coccyxes [looked it up]). Your forts have no inherent meaning and now neither does your language. Nothing but the void.

  55. There is no reason any of us should believe in the whimsical nature of our youth. There dreams are often too fragile to trust. The world is too cold to the touch, and too many have felt the cool burn of disappointment. Certainly, there is pain and hurt among many in the world and who trusts the youth to handle those delicate issues. Is it possibly they are the ones we should be asking? The negativity on this page is understandable. Skepticism runs in our veins as we’ve been conditioned to devalue the efforts of others, perhaps it is a survival mechanism. However, a child’s joy trumps everything. I think these guys are trying to evoke that emotion in themselves and others. Can any of us really call bullshit on their dreams? Whether it empowers communities to do better or not, I congratulate them for trying. More than I can say for myself.

  56. Having friends and being bored now comes with a mission statement, video, and instructions? Way to suck the fun out of fun.

  57. god dammit that one girl has the most BOOOOOOOORRRRING voice and cannot read off of cue cards. how hard is it to read off of cue cards?
    Not hard!

  58. Are they high? Cause that would make this whole much more understandable.

  59. We hope to take a road-trip….a really long road trip that prevents us from doing anything productive for years. We hope to have you pay for it. We hope that you will bring us drugs. We hope that you will buy us food. We hope that you will buy us gas. We hope that you will have sex with us. We hope that we can make a movie that will make us rich after our road trip. We hope to sit on our asses for the rest of our lives and buy drugs and have sex. We hope. We hope. We hope. Oh yeah, and something about forts and empowerment and eroding a hillside in San Diego.

  60. 24 is much too young to be having a mid-life crisis, which is what this most closely resembles. Kids, wait ’til you’re 40 like the rest of us and start saving for that Ferrari now!

  61. To weigh in in the “Fake” debate: Not Fake.

    I grew up around hippies, & wide-eyed, naive college freshmen. This is very real, and quite earnest.

    It also clearly needs to be stopped before someone is injured cliff-diving into… more solid land… What the fuck is that about?

    But yes, quite real.

    • On the contrary, it absolutely needs to be encouraged so that the complete fucking morons that are dumb enough to engage in such an activity end up breaking their necks and cleansing the genetic pool.

  62. Ugh! Fort building is over!
    #portlandiarefernces

  63. It’s already caught on in Downtown L.A.

  64. THEY PULLED THIS VIDEO AND CANCELED THEIR KICK-STARTER ACCOUNT!

    Internet, I blame you!

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