Sure. Yes. Cute. And “we should all be so” etc, etc. But I will tell you this: charming old men singing about their obsessive hobbies aside, Dalton Stevens “The Button King” is one smooshed cat carcass away from getting his own episode of Hoarders and that is when this shit gets tragic (tragic means “really entertaining,” right?). You better keep those cats alive, Dalton Stevens! Those cats are your non-hospital-meal ticket! (Via Urlesque.)

Comments (32)
  1. All the other straight dudes in the retirement home just have to wait till King Dalton dies because there’s no way anyone else is getting any female attention with this guy around. He sings AND sews!

  2. Correction: This Is My Button Emperor

  3. What has Red Buttons got to say about this? (Excuse me, will you press this BUTTON please? )

  4. The Button King coffin is REALLY depressing, but other than that, this guy is awesome. I also collect buttons. If I had a bath tub full of them I would be Scrooge McDuckin’ into that thing all day long!

  5. When my cousin was very young, he had an irrational fear of buttons. If an article of clothing had buttons on it he would refuse to wear it. Now, several years later, he is over this fear, but I am starting to think that he was onto something.

  6. Spoils from his vanquished foe in the Great Fastener Wars

  7. Does he have a patented Videogum Re-set Button?

  8. That’s Dalton? I thought he’d be bigger.

    • P.S. This was hilarious, and you guys can all suck it, you wouldn’t know a good movie if it ripped your throat out with its bare hands. Upvoter, you are alright with me.

  9. Sorry, I can’t respect a man who doesn’t have an American Flag pin on his lapel.

  10. Ha! I remember watching a video of this guy in 8th grade art class. It was a VHS video tape, or maybe Laser Disc? No, definitely VHS. He was singing about buttons, but the setting took place in a dry barren wasteland. From the way he sang his button song, you could tell the man had his heart broken and basically went insane. I hated watching videos in art class because all I wanted to do was draw, but apparently all my teacher wanted to do was fly away because I’m pretty sure she was pouring vodka into her water bottle while the lights classroom were off.

  11. This dude is so the Lady Gaga of his retirement home. Also, for some reason these buttons are kind of grossing be out. Its like some arts and craft virus spreading out of control.

  12. Can we confirm whether or not he’s using a button as a pick?

  13. Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

  14. Who has two thumbs and is the worst person to play “Button Button Who’s got the Button?” with?
    That guy.

  15. “Harold, it’s been fifteen years! Can’t you forgive him yet?”
    “Leave me alone, Edna.”
    “For god’s sake, all he said was that he liked velcro! Please Harold, just pick up the phone and talk to your son.”

  16. You guys, his Wikipedia page says he was born in 2010….curious, don’t you don’t think?

  17. Well, I guess you need to really love SOMETHING. I just hope the beneficiary of his will loves buttons as much as he does (if that can even happen).

  18. That’s not THAT many buttons.

  19. This is totally what happens when you have a cute little “thing” for yourself, and people know about it and give you more of whatever that “thing” is and you don’t ever really question where it might lead. Question where it might lead folks.

  20. What a sight!

  21. And ye there rose from the sea of clasps and clamps a great Button King, spewing horrible Button Songs from each of his one heads at the same time across the unfastened masses and refusing (logical as it seemed for a King of Buttons) to button his own lips. And his chariot of buttons scoured the land for victims who would be forced to forfeit their fasteners and forever zip and pin themselves out of nakedness in order to feed the maniac’s wild button-lust. And each of them, as they gazed upon his needlessly buttoned attire, dreamt of the day when they’d lower his button-studded casket into the buttonhole of that enormous button they’d come to call the Earth.

  22. did anyone have a subscription to nickelodeon magazine? because they totally had an article about this guy back in the 90s. him and his button car.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.