Here’s the trailer for your new favorite movie, Vampire Boys:

No homo…philiac. (I’m sorry.)

Comments (51)
  1. They already made a Twilight for boys. It’s called Every Vampire Movie That Was Made Before Twilight.

  2. Coooooooooooooooooool title.

  3. this is a metaphor for moving to LA right?

  4. wait, so is this a korean drama or an adult film?

  5. Well, that just looks fabulous.

  6. Hey, that music sounds a lot like Black Swan! Cool Ripoff!

  7. Remember when Sinbad hosted SNL and in the monologue he made fun of “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” because in the opening scenes it looked like Dracula had a butt on his head?
    Please someone else remember this?

    • No, but remember the Justin Timberlake episode when they did the punk’d sketch and they punk’d 50 cent by putting a vampire in his bathroom? “Yo! I’m not going in there… There’s a vampire in the bathtub!”

    • If a dracula is ever chasing you, turn around and trip the bitch.

  8. Wait. Do I protest this because the paganism is an affront to Christianity or because homosexuality is an affront to Christianity? Guess I’ll wait patiently for the new Church bulletin to tell me what to do.

  9. In that last line, it sounds like he’s trying to figure out what he’s even fucking saying.

    • I felt like I needed to write it down to even begin to parse it out, but then I realized that I’d already spent too much time with this (2 to 3 seconds) and moved on.

    • “Will you die to live forever… with me?” is how my first marriage proposal went down. He wasn’t a vampire though, he was an evangelical Christian.

  10. I’ve just moved to LA, and I’m being stalked by a pale young man. To make matters worse, he isn’t even sparkling in sunlight. MLIVB.

  11. In the directors cut hey have to battle another bunch of guys who morph into bears.

  12. Finally, a vampire movie for skinny white kids who feel like they don’t belong, for some reason.

  13. No, I’ve seen this porn before. The redhead does this AMAZING thing with his… Oh, right, sorry, wrong forum.

    Uh… hehe. This looks um… melodramatic. Right? Lolz?

  14. Hematospermia is a motherfucker

  15. Fake and gay

  16. when I read “Vampire Movie for Dudes” I thought ‘O, vampires that ride fast motorcycles through explosions while drinking blood flavored Rockstar and then gives a dutch oven to his big tittied vacuous interchangeable hot girlfriend.’

    what I’m saying is I’m totally not disappointed here, guys.

  17. But seriously, did they have a big casting call for the most waifish twinks in Hollywood or what? Did anyone on set weigh more than 110 pounds? Could anyone sing baritone?

    “Nope, sorry, you’re too not gay for this film.” – casting director

  18. I’m so glad gay-interest movies always have such high production values. Thanks, here! network!

  19. Seems like sparkling in the sunlight would have gone over well with the target demographic here. Missed opportunity.

  20. Sooo many of my dates end with the girl saying, “Are you going to turn me into a vampire tonight or what?”

  21. So the girl (the one girl in this whole movie, apparently) is supposed to be the werewolf, right? Is that because of menstrual cycles being dictated by lunar cycles?

  22. i thought this was twilight for dudes:

    • Ugh, that porn was terrible. All the Twilight porns were terrible, I don’t get it as like 100% of the guy types in Twilight are in gay porn…

  23. During the slow motion shot which introduces the vampires, I thought, “Are they supposed to look ‘different’? Or perhaps, ‘menacing’? Because they all look just as gay as everyone else.”

    So is this sociocultural analysis/film saying that all gays are vampires or that all vampires are gays? I’m picturing an ouroboros of a penis somehow eating itself.

  24. “Why did you wait until the last possible minute?” Oh those boys, always choosing their life partners on a whim!

  25. This is making gay people look like they have no idea how to act or direct movies.

  26. Twilight is still gayer.

  27. Don’t apologise for ‘no homo…philiac’ it made me do a real, life actual ‘lol’. Man I’m easily pleased…

  28. An unfortunate truth: I will probably watch this movie one hundred times.

  29. Um, wasn’t the original Twilight already directed at gay dudes? Just sayin’.

  30. Only ONE man-on-man kiss??? EXCUSE ME.

  31. I hear Vampire Boys is already generating some serious Oscar buzz for next year. I also hear cats whispering.

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