Rise & Grind my dolls!!!!

Hello, Monsters. My name is Joe Mande. Some of you may know me as a stand-up comedian from cable television, the author of a very cool and timeless Urban Outfitters book, or the asshole who keeps trying to get into a Twitter war with Frankie Muniz.  But today, however, I will be taking one for the team Gabe and assuming the role as guest-blogger for Videogum. Needless to say, I do not take this task lightly. In my opinion, Gabe Delahaye—despite being well over 60 years old—is the best writer on the Internet and should be awarded the title of Blogger Laureate of the United States by your “President” Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

There are two very important things you need to know about me. First, I’m kind of an idiot. So let’s all temper our expectations. Second, I’m mildly (mildly means completely, right?) obsessed with Black culture, so don’t be surprised if the source for all of today’s “news” comes directly from my homepage, mediatakeout.com.

My hope is that today will go smoothly without anything crazy happening. And by “crazy,” I mean I hope Charlie Sheen doesn’t die or anything like that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not care if Charlie Sheen dies. Actually, I hope Charlie Sheen dies! Fuck that dude! I just don’t want Charlie Sheen to die today. You know what I mean? I think we’d all feel better if Gabe was at the helm of Videogum when Charlie Sheen dies. (Which will be sometime next week, hopefully.)

Anyway, enough of my blathering…let’s dive into some trampoline accidents, shall we?

Comments (27)
  1. Someone’s an eager beaver! Gabe doesn’t generally start for another hour and a half! Not sure anybody else out there chronically refreshes this early JUST IN CASE. So…first, I guess?

  2. Aww I was greatly looking forward to remembering the anniverary of Charlie Sheens death as the day Joe Mande guest blogged.. OR the anniversary of the day Joe Mande blogged as the day Charlie Sheen died.

    Jeez now im hoping he doesn’t die so I don’t feel like an ass. Thanks Joe Mande for making me hope Charlie Sheen doesn’t die today.

  3. Hi Joe! Welcome to the Jungle!

  4. Ides of March, man. Ides of March.

  5. WELCOME, JOE! Someone gave me your book for Christmas, it now sits in my bathroom next to a pile of my roommate’s old Motor Trend magazines. I don’t mean that in a snotty way, I do most of my reading in the bathroom.

  6. You know what I learned from that banner pic? The only real difference between new media and old media is the use of undershirts.

  7. Look at this fucking guest blogger, you guys!

    Ok, I will show myself out. I am sorry, you guys. Really though, I am looking forward to today, Joe!

  8. Hello Mr. Mande, I have a few questions:

    1. As someone who was making fun of “hipsters” back when most of America wasn’t even aware of the term, what do you think of the recent slew of hipster related memes?

    2. Since there is no real central attribute to being a hipster (such as punk music was to punks etc.) do you look at as the natural end of the cycle or are you confident that hipsters will continue as a culture in the future? Does their eclecticism in fact makes them stronger?

    4. Will you be my friend?

  9. I actually gave up Charlie Sheen for Lent, so if something happens this week I won’t know.
    (PS Everyone should give up Charlie Sheen for Lent. I’ve already lost 3 pounds.)

  10. But what does this have to do with Kentucky?

  11. Hi Joe! I’m off to work, so you’ll see me later this evening making the 50th comment on a number of articles, long after the comment threads have lost steam!

  12. Yes! Trampoline accidents! Joe gets it!

  13. YEESSSSSSSS. Just saw him wearing a wonderful tuxedo with a red bow tie the other night.

  14. Hey you were in that show with Gabe like a week ago. You were funny!

  15. “by your “President” Barack HUSSEIN Obama.”

    Yeah, that was unnecessary.

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