Hip hop was invented in 1791 by Col. James Harrod, founder of the Fort Harrod settlement in what is now Mercer County, Kentucky. One evening, Col. Harrod took a bite of some stew that was not to his liking. He turned to spit it out on the floor, but rather than spitting stew, he found he was spitting game. Unfortunately, Col. Harrod disappeared while searching for Jonathan Swift’s Silver Mine (probably was eaten by crows and turtles) and he took that wonderful art form with him to his grave.

It was rediscovered in 1988 at a middle school in Lexington, Kentucky:

For a time in middle school, I wanted to be an MC. Using a stick horse has a microphone, I honed my lyrical prowess in the basement, only the washer and dryer privy to the extent of my game. Once my mother walked in on me rapping into a stuffed horse’s face. To conceal what I had actually been doing, I started kissing it and moaning.

I don’t know why I thought being caught making out with a stuffed horse was less embarrassing than being caught rapping alone while sitting on a pile of dirty laundry. The young mind doesn’t always work well.

It was around this time that I wrote a musical for a class using the music of Poison and U2 and just re-writing the lyrics so they were good. I wrote most of them while sitting in an empty bathtub in a Holiday Inn. My father asked me what I was doing and I said, “I am writing a musical in the bathtub.”

“Your mother told me about the stick horse. Do we need to talk?”

“I am an artist.”

“Fair enough,” he closed the door to the bathroom and left me to my art.

Comments (27)
  1. This is pretty great.

  2. Mans: I can only presume that you are one of, or possibly both of, these rapping artisans. Keep on keeping on, you crazy diamond.

  3. “You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go, oh!

    You only get one shot, do not, wear those rainbow pants, they just won’t help you dance, won’t help you spit no rants, won’t improve your stance, not in this post by Mans, not in Paris France, or even a Michael Cera prance.

    Boy-ee.”

  4. For a minute I really thought it was you rapping, Mans. You got me again, you silent assassin you.

  5. Probably one of the only times my fair city will be mentioned and/or tagged on this fine website

  6. Aside from Hitman’s less-than-enthusiastic delivery, this is pretty perfect for a middle school rap from 1988, no matter the location.

  7. Should we make a running tally of Mans’ most commonly used words? I don’t have exact numbers, but I’m pretty sure it goes Kentucky, bathtub, parents, U2, art.

  8. I can only imagine that this woman is a representative of the liquor and dope lobby:

  9. Behind the Music: Chet Haze

  10. Forget the rappers, the announcer kid is my favorite. I hope he grew up to a popular local radio DJ, who was the MC for local talent shows and the county fair.

  11. I absolutely LOVED the Intro kid. He seemed like a child actor, almost, you know? Like he knew he had to pretend this was real lie, but he was still trying hard enough that you could tell he was trying? What I’m getting at is, the kids’ head shakes after “They’re going to do a Rap Song for us” and “Hollywood” (00:10) is the best. (I JUST SPENT LITERALLY 10 MINUTES TRYING TO MAKE A GIF AND IT DIDNT WORK (I WAS SET TO BE COMMENT 12 HERE IF THATS ANY INDICATION OF JUST HOW HARD I FAILED)

  12. LOL Cool Jams

  13. I was there in 1988 at a middle school in Lexington, Kentucky, but I am losing my edge.

  14. Let’s be real… it sounds way too much like Brokencyde.

  15. Hollywood and Hitman would have been nothing if it hadn’t been for Coolie B laying down those phat beats.

  16. White kids love hip-hop.

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