Quentin Tarantino is suing Alan Ball for a very normal reason: because Alan Ball’s exotic birds make loud cries that interrupt Quentin Tarantino while he is writing screenplays, duh! It’s called justice, guys. Ask Jeeves about it.

Comments (36)
  1. Maybe’ll he’ll get Alan to Kill Bill.

  2. “Alan Ball’s exotic birds? I thought he was gay!” – Gwyneth Paltrow

  3. “Say ‘squaaack,’ again! I dare you! I double dare you, mutherfucka! Say ‘squaaack’ one more goddamn time.”

  4. I know how it is Quentin, birds always be interrupting my monologues about Uma Thurman’s feet too

  5. Poor Quentin! This is like when my godchildren are constantly being woken in the night by gunshots.

  6. Does that mean I can sue Charlie Sheen for refusing to shut up and making the Internet insufferable?

  7. Can QT also sue him for writing American Beauty and the Lili Taylor mess on Six Feet Under…?

    • and just True Blood in general, and convincing people I like/respect that True Blood isn’t pure trash

      • TB defense! Ian, by NO MEANS do I think that True Blood isn’t pure trash. However, it is pure trash that is a little bit clever or interesting, just enough to make it palatable to sit through an hour of mindless eye candy dribble. Yes, there is horrible acting, character development, plot devices, whatever. Every show can’t be The Wire! And if anything, it seems like the show doesn’t take itself too seriously. In closing, the show is about entertainment. I guess you are not entertained.

  8. Also usually I do not make video comments here because they’re not embeddable but this is just too relevant
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vFQATH7OL0

  9. In all fairness, cocaine makes birds really annoying.

  10. MAYBE the bird is really Allan Ball as a shape-shifter! Wah I want True Blood to come back :(

  11. That explains Tarantino’s latest screenplays:

    Duck Bill
    Inglorious Birdturds
    Jackie Brown Breasted Warbler

  12. Most annoying neighbor stories?

    I lived in an apartment building and shared a wall with an Opera enthusiast. I hesistate to call them an Opera singer because it was a) bad and b) they never left their apartment, so I assume they were never employed as a singer. The woman would sing for hours on end and then just when I thought she was done for the night she would throw what can only be called “Midnight Singing Parties” and would have 4 or 5 other people come over and join her in singing all through the wee hours of the night. I spent much of the time we shared a wall drunk purely to be able to fall asleep.

  13. Tarantino is such an amateur. Some artists create their best work under the influence of the loud cries of exotic birds.

  14. “Oh man, that totally sucks!” -A Japanese Guy

  15. Ummm… can’t Quentin just – you know – go to an office to do his writing?

  16. You *know* there’s only one way to settle this :

  17. “Something something, Angry Birds!”

    — Jay Leno

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