Apparently, today is Old People Complaining About Things in a Mildly Hilarious Way Day, the most wonderful day of the year, I’m sure. Earlier, of course, we had Rosina Kovar bemoaning the state of the modern anus, and now we have Alan Simpson, former senator of Wyoming and a co-chair on The Deficit Reduction Commission, explaining what is wrong with children today. It starts with the fact that they don’t even write thank you letters to their grandparents (or in Simpson’s case, great-great-great-great-grandparents) when they receive a gift. Fair enough! People SHOULD write thank you notes. That is just a nice thing to do and it shows you have good manners. Admittedly, I am pretty sure the Thank You Letter War was lost about 100 years ago with the invention of the transistor radio. Simpson then goes on to complain about young people “walking on their pants” and wearing their hats backwards (that old chestnut) before finally complaining about the popularity of Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog.

Wait, what?

I will just say this: we owe old people a lot, Amistad-style, shoulders etc, and for the most part I am captain of Team Old People, but I don’t want to hear any more of them complaining that they’re not being taken seriously or that society unjustly tries to write them off while at the same time feeling completely comfortable saying “Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog” on fucking television. I WILL SHOW YOU SOME RESPECT, SIR, BUT YOU ALSO SHOW EVERYONE YOUNGER THAN 109 SOME RESPECT. It is a two way street. It’s called Respect Street! (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (61)
  1. In 1994, during Freaknik, my father refered to Snoop Dog as “Snoop Doggy Doo” in front of everyone. That was the last time I was seen in public.

  2. I am confused since this is not Andy Rooney, but this is definitely something Andy would say in a rare lucid moment

  3. Just by saying, “Snoop, snoopy, poop dog,” he instantly became a better rapper than Chet Haze

  4. I don’t know why he would have a problem with Enema Man. All of his albums are clean.

  5. I am a fan of the outcasts, what with their andrew four thousand and their Bob’s big boy.

  6. Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog are archenemies.

  7. Maybe this asshole ought to check his facts before going on tv. We all know fox doesn’t mind, but it’s tough to be convincing when you have no clue what you’re talking about.

  8. Enema Man got totally hosed in that interview.

  9. “People SHOULD write thank you notes. That is just a nice thing to do and it shows you have good manners.”

    Awww, I’m sorry your great-grandchildren never write anymore, Gabe.

  10. That’s how I sound talking to my little cousin though. “I wish you would talk to the rest of your family instead of always messing around with that BrokenSiddlySide and K-Dollar Sign-Ha.”

  11. If anything, this gentleman’s grievances are TOO up to date.

  12. Old People: Running the Country since 1776

  13. Team Old People member inquiring to headquarters about being taken seriously:

  14. I say we retaliate by making vulgar jokes out of the names of HIS era’s musicians. I’ll start us off: Jerry “Pee” Lewis.

  15. When I want to say thank you to my grandparents, I just send them an AOL Instant Message after I plug in to the Web.

    Also, are Snoop Dog and Eminem not silly names to begin with? If he wanted to demean them, he really could have just kept things the way they were.

  16. My favorite Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog song is “Gin & Deuce.”

  17. This old bitch needs to swag out with some OFWGKTA.

  18. Can’t walk on our pants, can’t have butt sex–the old folks need to leave me at least ONE of my hobbies, God.

  19. There is no comment that could possibly make this any funnier.

  20. i don’t know if this is a southern thing, or if i was just raised by monkies, but my roommate’s family is WAY into thank you notes. they write notes thanking me for every time they visit. they don’t stay in the apartment, they just thank me for like letting them walk around? and he has a liberal, young person sister who writes him thank you notes for when he visits her. he sleeps on her couch for one night so he can go out drinking in the city she lives in and then she writes him a note? etiquette is weird and this family is making my stamp budget go through the roof.

    signed,
    a rude idiot

  21. I personally prefer Enema Man’s sophomore effort “Tributing On Your Stomach” to his 1991 debut “Tribute Is a Euphemism for Ejaculation”. He’s still dope live though. I saw him open for Wu Tang Clam and Oyster 5’9 in the Crustacean Values Tour.

  22. I think we really should blame Grandson Simpson for not writing someone a thank you letter…

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