I’m not sure what kind of deep-rooted lack you would have to feel in the depths of your soul where this type of competition was clearly the best means to fill it, but hey, the human heart is a complicated thing. And you only live once. So if you want to ride your bike down what basically looks like one long open grave (filled with ramps to launch you into heaven) then please, by all means, knock yourself out. Literally. R.I.P. Just be forewarned, much like actual life, there will be literally nothing waiting for you on the other side. Frown! (Via Internet Today.)

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Comments (35)
  1. Pfft. I wanna see the video of the guy who shot this video while riding a bike. And a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video, and a video of the guy who shot that video. But that’s it.

  2. What a weird looking Quantum of Solace deleted scene

  3. Gabe, you kinda seem to be in a dark place today. The only posts so far have been about how the world is in turmoil and there is no life after death. Have you been hanging out with Trent Reznor again?

  4. They basically shut down the entire town so these two guys could ride bikes.

    Oh, and STOP with the WHISTLING! It’s like a third world gym class ’round there!

  5. I agree that this looks like one long attempt to cheat death, but it also was pretty fun to watch. If you are a moutain biker and are good at it (I am neither), and you have it appropriately cordoned off so as to protect bystanders (it seems like they did? kinda?) then why not?

  6. This made my blood pressure shoot up to stroke levels.

  7. I’m sure my co-workers appreciated me throwing my arms up in the air and yelling “WHEEEEEEEEEE” for three minutes.

  8. Wait. So this ISN’T awesome? It’s like a human Rube Goldberg machine!

    • Human Rube Goldberg Machines?

      • You know, it’s that thing… where you build a giant mousetrap board… and replace the marbles with… midgetsinsidehamsterballs.

        • New York’s hottest new club is Spook. Club owner Blaise N. Gulfing has created a sanctuary that answers the question, “Question?” This place has everything: cooties, white chocolate toes, the annoying guy from the State Farm commercials and human pinball machines! Human pinball machines? You know, it’s that thing where you put seven midgets inside hamster balls and let them roll around the dance floor while people in their underwear freak dance to a club version of “Whistle While You Work.”

      • You know, it’s that thing where you take a midget and throw him down a slip n’ slide onto a see saw where he’s catapulted into the air and on the way down he turns on the lights.

  9. I should not have watched that given how headachey and nauseated I’ve felt all morning.

  10. I’ve played this level in Call of Duty before.

  11. City of God + X Games = WINNING.

  12. This look just like the stuff my friend, Dan, and I used to do when we were 13, except:

    -We didn’t have a roped off course of carefuly made obstacles
    -We didn’t wear pads
    -There was traffic on the streets
    -No one was watching us
    -When Dan broke his tailbone, we were able to take him to the hospital

    Other that that, this is literally the exact same thing.

  13. This is an event called Valparaiso Cerro Abajo, held in Valparaiso, Chile.


    this video is crazier, where a dog jumps out in front of him:

  14. Chile, so rich in whistles and red and green tape. So poor in everything else.

  15. Bicycle rights!

  16. Why have I never heard of this before? This, the most awesome spectacle in bicycledom?

    Seriously, Fuck the Tour de France, & Fuck Lance Armstrong! This right here is the coolest thing ever done on a bicycle that didn’t involve the phrase, “If my mom finds out, we are sooo dead.”

  17. “Great, you made it halfway! Try to keep up the same speed on the way back up!”

  18. Helmets? Pussies.

  19. I admire their skill and appetite for danger, because personally I can’t ride a normal bike on a flat surface even knowing there will be people with cushions to catch me.*

    *No one has ever offered to do this, but I highly doubt it would increase my skill at bicycling in any way,

  20. I rode my bike to the food co-op today.

  21. i dont know man. this shit kinda looks hot. did you see those fucking stairs from 1:00??? wooo weee!

  22. Dear Gabe.

    This, was an amazing video. It was so awesome I was about to start headbanging when I read what you wrote (because Yeeyyy…Gabe comments). I know you are too old to be a tweenager and you aknowledged it that you do indeed complain a lot yet consider yourself able to enjoy things. Apparently you felt the need to remind us that “much like actual life, there will be literally nothing waiting for you on the other side” and you described the town as one “long open grave”.
    People able to face religion with critical though are unfortunate enough to realise that there is no after life, which is seriously the worst thing ever. It is in fact so sad that pretty much every sane person in this world wants to believe. I personally wish I could take that leap of faith (cause no gotho).

    What I want to ask is why do you have to spoil it for everyone?

    At first I was like

    But then I was all like

    And it is all your damn fault.

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