There is no off-switch on genius whatever this is.

Winning! Trolls. Honestly, Charlie Sheen has a point: my brain CAN’T process this. Part two after the jump. CORRECT: PART TWO!

Is Charlie Sheen the petty dictator of a small third-world country? Because that would explain a lot, actually. VIVA LA CHARLIE SHEEN INTERVIEWS! (Via TMZ.)

Comments (58)
  1. Winning. You say that word a lot, I do not think it means what you think it means.

  2. Dear Interviewer Man; Nice outfit. Very cool. Very tracksuit.

  3. Can we upvote Charlie Sheen, he’d so get into the Monster’s Ball, at the very least editor’s choice

  4. Did anyone notice this wasn’t posted by Gabe, but by something called t-4? Now I’m not up on my Terminator, but I think that is a Terminator. Has Charlie Sheen been an agent for Skynet the whole time?

  5. I didn’t understand most of what was going on, but it’s been weeks since I wore my kryptology hat, so it’s hard for me to read behind the hieroglyphic.

  6. Watching this guy’s self-destructive descent into the hells of addiction is a truly troubling experience.

  7. I feel like Charlie Sheen has gone past the point of no return.

  8. At some point, everyone’s going to feel really guilty about all of this. There will eventually come a moment when we’re all going to feel terrible about watching this sad spectacle play out in real time before us, while we all just laugh and crack wise at this troubled, troubled dude.

    Thing is, that point hasn’t arrived for me yet. I still find this entire trainwreck fucking hilarious.

  9. The video stream sucks balls. Anyone else having trouble viewing? I AM NOT WINNING RIGHT NOW.

  10. The biggest loser in this war? America’s Lounge Shirt Corporations

    • I used to wear these in high school foolishly thinking they made me look hip and cool. Now I realize they just made me look like a delusional psychopath. Am I winning yet?

  11. Whoops, Charlie Sheen is my dad.

  12. Okay, I know this is funny, but in a way it is not so funny because Charlie Sheen is basically riding the cocaine train to death town. And when I think about it like that, the fact that he is a grown up adult man saying these ridiculous things is less funny and more really scary.

    Also, it is amazing that someone can just speak publicly about loving illegal drugs, and this does not lead to any sort of police involvement. Charlie Sheen allegedly carries around a briefcase full of cocaine drugs for himself and his hooker ladies. Can the LAPD not catch Mr. Sheen with his cokecase and throw him in at least rehab? Are they even interested in trying to do their jobs? And if they aren’t, can we really blame Charlie Sheen for being completely balls crazy? If i lived my entire life above the law with tons of money and no negative consequences for my actions, I would probably think i was WINNING all the time as well.

    But when he finally dies later this year, can we all at least agree to leave him off the Oscars “In Memoriam” video, a la Corey Haim?

    • In Charlie’s defense of his “fantasyland” version of his life, EVERYTHING he’s done in his life that normally would have at the least ruined a career and at the most landed someone in jail or in the morgue, hasn’t hurt him in the least. In fact, he’s literally the highest-paid actor on television.

      How could he NOT believe he’s not subject to the normal rules of cause and effect? I completely believe that he’s damaged his career prospects tremendously in the last week and that from now on he’ll be damaged goods in the business. But… we’ll see.

  13. He says words like “groovy” and “gnarly” in a none-ironic sense. It makes me laugh.

  14. What the hell kind of canned powdered coffee (cocaine) was that supposed to be?

  15. Not to be one-upped, Mel Gibson plans to release his ”101 things I hate about Jews” anthology tomorrow.

  16. GUYS. WHAT IF HE ACTUALLY IS SOBER AND THIS IS HOW HE’LL BE FROM NOW ON?

    Wouldn’t that be AMAZING? This IS Charlie Sheen, completely about-faced, and he “entertains” us as a professional actor for decades to come before he dies of natural causes? That would be NUTZ.

    • Not to say that all drug abusers OD and die young. Some live for many many years into old age and do fine (Keith Richards, Hunter S. Thompson before his hip surgeries, depression and suicide).

      ANYWAY- I’m basically saying it would be fucking crazy if what we are perceiving as a meltdown is actually a whatever the opposite of a meltdown is (freeze up?). He becomes a completely sober, egotistical asshole. Winning. Tiger F-16 blood/oil pumping through his veins. ))((

    • Where’s Casey Affleck to film this?

    • that could be a Vegas show for sure.

  17. “People of Earth: What is this thing you call…. love?”

    -Charlie “Winner” Sheen

  18. Why is everyone acting like this is a sudden breakdown. HE SHOT KELLY PRESTON IN THE 90′S!!!!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sheen

  19. You know I can believe that Charlie Sheen cured addiction with his brain. But what I can’t believe is that anyone, ever found “Two and a Half Men” edgy.

  20. “They couldn’t handle my stories.” That’s my answer for why I dropped out of my MFA program. (NB: I didn’t attend an MFA program.)

  21. Why is my dad from 15 years ago on the internet and talking about how great his life is?

  22. It’s hard to know if he’s growing the mullet for aesthetic provocation or simply the drugs have dehydrated him to the point that his corpse has started to shrink making it appear that his hair has grown longer. Either way he is totally winning.

  23. WInning? Winning.

  24. I particularly like the part where he calls the interviewer’s wife ugly and the interviewer is like, “Well, I love my wife, so.” and Charlie Sheen is all like, “Well, not your wife, I mean everyone else’s wife, because you and I are winning, OBVIOUSLY.”

  25. Reset button? Reset button.

  26. Too much winning. Can’t deal.

  27. “Charlie Sheen can swing a bat.” – this interviewer, and all of his ex-wives/girlfriends

  28. Can Charlie Sheen news go the way of Insane Clown Posse, Jersey Shore, etc? The sad is kind of outweighing the funny at this point.

  29. We’re just helping to build the story that he hopes his children will read someday.

  30. I do appreciate that Charlie is single handedly leading the effort to bring DUH back. Winning.

  31. I want to make sure I understand: Ted Williams catching a lucky break was a galling example of the culture eating itself as well as a whitewash of the larger socioeconomic nightmare of homelessness, but Charlie Sheen’s self-destruction, while endlessly replayed on the same shows, is still good for teh lolz? Am I getting this right?

  32. I don’t want to get all seriousgum here, and I am BY NO MEANS an addiction specialist or medically licensed or anything, However, I have had a lot of family members who have suffered years of pretty hardcore drug addiction (speed, coke, alcohol, grosscetera) and I knew within the first minute of watching this that he is still on all of the drugs. He is high as a kite.

    #duhgum

    • on one of the shows they filmed him taking a drug test and he was clean. i think he looks so terrible and is so crazy-out-of-his-head because he is cold turkey detoxing. thats why he is so grey and clammy looking, he is totally sick.

  33. As a non-drug-addict I wonder how he can maintain such a nice yard while he stays that fucked up all the time.
    I’ll take my answer off the air.

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