Lauren, who sent this in as a tip, suggested that when Lexy and Stephany are a little bit older, someone in college will eventually find this video and that neither of them would ever “live it down.” Uh, live what down? Being THE BEST?! Let me say this to any future college students who might tease Lexy or Stephany: when you graduate from school, no one is going to give a shit about what you want or who you think you are or any of the other ways in which you have been led to believe that you are a special snowflake. It’s going to take years and years of mildly mind-numbing work in terrible jobs while living in disappointing apartments with other malformed 20-somethings who also aren’t real human beings yet and who do nothing but constantly surprise you with the ways in which they can be selfish and stupid and depressing to the point where it’s almost a decade into your friendship and you realize you don’t actually have that much in common with them other than some shared youthful experience that ended forever ago and now you kind of wish you had new friends who share your ambitions and life-goals that, surprisingly, you are only JUST NOW getting a real handle on and oh wow guess what, you are also old. So giggle it up in your dorm cafeteria, chuckleheads. Lexy and Stephany are going to BURY YOU and sing AVE MARIA over your STUPID CORPSE. (Thanks for the tip, Lauren.)

Comments (72)
  1. They claim it’s the sea, but it looks like the river Styx

  2. I heard that this will be on the soundtrack to Adam Sandler’s next movie, a period piece called “The Farting English Gentleman.” Megan Fox will be cast as his wife,Kevin Nealon and Nick Swardson to co-star. {Directed by Dennis Dugan}

  3. Now how is this supposed to cure my President’s Day hangover?

  4. This is going to haunt my dreams.

  5. I cannot express how vehemently I do not want to see what the youtube comments look like for this video.

  6. One day they’ll both meet their very own lucky Tuxedo Masks.

  7. Their names are almost (!) an anagram of “Styx Elephant”. If Stephany’s name was “Stephant”. But it isn’t. So caaaaaaarry on…

  8. Come sail away with us, Tommy. For ever, and ever, and ever

    • Think of the above comment as Scatman Crothers. And I am Jack Nicholson, plunging an axe full of upvotes directly into its torso.

    • For those of you playing at home: Danny is the name of the child in The Shining. Tony is the name of the man who lives in Danny’s mouth. Tommy is a rock opera by The Who……, if this makes it in the ball it will be the 4th entry to do so with an error in it.

      Winning While Failing: The Papes Story

  9. It’s nice to see that Mark Gormley has given music-video direction a shot.

  10. I really hope everyone watched the whole thing b/c the breakdown was golden, I tell you. Also, you should have topped it off with their rendition of “Dancing Queen.”

  11. Classic rock + theatre kids + green screen + Japanese schoolgirl uniforms = …


  12. They’re wearing sailor outfits and standing in front of water. Get it? You get it.

  13. I thought this was a joke until I looked over at the suggestions portion. Soo…they have like a billion videos. Apparently, I’ve been missing out?

    • yeah, and youtube leads me to understand that they sang the national anthem at a white sox game even. Lexy and Stephany have already blown up.. we’re all totes behind the curve on this one.

  14. I thought that they were angels, but much to my surprise
    When I went to meet them IRL, I was nabbed by the FBIs


    They’re going to make Chicago a MUSIC CAPITAL

    • Wait they are sisters? And also tennis players?
      Why are they not already on all the disney channels and american idols? Hollywood agents are dropping the ball.

    • Guys, Lexy and Stephany have come to the last nine Chicago Monster Meetups. Is everyone playing dumb, or do you really not know this?
      (Stephany comments as “Chris Trash” and Lexy comments as “DS3M”)

    • That Garrard McClendon show really has its finger on the pulse, huh?

  16. Why does the one on the right look so stern? These girls are going to shoot to the top of the starboards. We should all bow down to their greatness. I bet a lot of boys are pulling their halyards to this.

  17. Lexy’s (or is it Stephany?) braces were such a distraction. Can’t take ‘em seriously.

    • The one without braces has a much more powerful voice, too. Braces girl was very breathy and likely not singing from her diapragm.

      • Braces looks like Amber Tamblyn, the short one looks like Andie MacDowell…

        i mean, neither will be breakout stars (brunettes! amirite?!) but obviously Short will do anything to get there. (She just looks DRIVEN!)

  18. It’s sort of disturbing how much hard core pornography comes up when doing a simple google search of ‘lexy and stephanie’

  19. I don’t wanna steal the lexy or stephany thunder or anything, but I wish I had those kind of production values around when I was young (yesterday).

  20. This could be one of my favorite videogum posts ever. As always the video is awesome, but Gabe just basically describe my 20′s in a way I thought no one ever could (Hi 20s! I see you back there).

  21. *Slow clap in response to Gabe’s commentary*

  22. I am sad about all the porny comments.

    It tested my strength of character to watch the sunrise and only the sunrise for one full minute during a music video. I am pretty sure I failed the test.

    The best things are their hands, full of mysterious half-expressed impulses. Also when the girl on the right winks near the end I kind of wanted to die and also protect her. It is not going to go how you think, Lexy/Stephany! Dudes will get all porny and not like your for your inner snowflake. Your hair will not always be that thick and lustrous. Gabe is right that you will win, but you may first pay a heavy price for the loss of your innocence. And your hair.

  23. So these girls are like the real life Rachel Berry or something?

  24. You guys, there’s a video of them singing You Raise Me Up while a bunch of couples with Down Syndrome dance around them. I literally cried.

    • So, I badly want to say something about the similarity of the special-needs dance troupe’s choreography to certain choreographic strategies that Mark Morris uses all the time. But I can’t figure out a single place in my internet life to type it where it would be appropriate.

  25. Not that it matters or anything, but what are the odds these kids AREN’T homeschooled?

  26. “Come Sail Away” was the first song that produced some kind of emotional resonance in me. I was a wee child, but I still haven’t been able to completely erase that memory. This song always gets to me. I fully understand now how cheesy it is, but I can’t help it.
    The video I could mock all day, but the song? Love it.

  27. I am both a mom and a girl (crazy!) so I can say this: awww, they are absolutely precious, right down to their identical sateen sailor suits. Do not squash their dreams, big internet! Do not push them out to sea! I teared up at the bridge. Sniffle.

  28. Gabe just captured my current life condition perfectly.

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