All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

(thanks for the Topher Grace tip, Tim and Shannon)

Comments (50)
  1. Werttrew, old sport, you are just on fire today.

  2. tl;dr
    tml;dc
    tma;dt

  3. I actually thought the dog in the third video was talking. Didn’t help that the man had a perfect Disney dog voice-over voice.

  4. Am I the only one who waited two minutes for a picture to load up next to the text only to realize that I was duped by poetic form?

  5. Jesus, werttrew. Does space-time work differently where you work or something?

  6. Werttrew is going at it HARD today!

  7. That’s Christopher Marlowe, right?

  8. You rendered BING speechless.
    Thank you.

  9. This is absolutely brilliant. Internet performance of Shakespeare. I’m totally serious. I am floored. This. Is. The. Best. Ever.

    EVER WERTTREW!! EVER!!!!

  10. I am a man,
    More downvot’d against than downvoting.

  11. I finally get Shakespeare!

  12. Nothing will come of nothing: tweet again.

  13. About halfway through I saw one of the first tags was Bill Hicks, and then I couldn’t WAIT to figure out which link it was. Of course it was the last link. Oh Bill Hicks, one of my Dead Heroes of February (died February 26th, 1994), you were taken too soon.

    (and in case anyone’s curious who the other Dead Heroes of February are, they are Jack Kirby [2/6/94], Hunter S. Thompson [2/20/05] and Malcolm X [2/21/65])

    Great post werttrew. It was fun for me because I had multiple videos playing simultaneously in different windows, really lending itself to the “all the world’s a stage” motif. A cacophony of crazy karaoke, little kids chattering, and hair product commercials.

  14. Mend your HTML a little,
    Lest you may mar your .gif.

  15. Is this a .gif I see before me?

  16. And my poor fool is bann’d from chat!

  17. Go, thrust him out at gates, and let him smell
    His way to the Monster’s Ball.

  18. Let not the marriage of true minds admit firewalls.

  19. More matter with less farting cat videos.

  20. Now is the winter of our discontent
    Made glorious summer by this son of wert;
    And all the clouds that low’r'd upon Videogum
    In the deep bosom of the comments buried.

  21. An EGOT, an EGOT! My kingdom for an EGOT!

  22. Alas! poor Gabe. I knew him, Werttrew; a fellow of infinite LOLs, of most excellent abs; he hath borne me on his blog a thousand times; and now, how downvoted in my imagination it is! My TWSS rises at it. Here hung those Topher Grace posts that I have kissed, I know not how oft. Where be your Caption Contests now? Your Copper Cab? Your Lost Recaps? Your flashes of Juggalos, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own posting? Quite chap-fallen? Now, Werttrew, get you to Becca’s chamber, and tell her, let her walk Birdie, to this favour she must come; make her run tell that.

    • To post or not to post: that is the question.
      Whether tis nobler in the Videogum to suffer
      The upvotes and downvotes of outrageous comments,
      Or to take arms against a sea of Steve Winwoods,
      And by opposing end him? To post, to sleep;
      No more; and by a sleep to say we end
      The heart-ache and the thousand unnatural .gifs
      That Flash is heir to, ’tis a consummation
      Devoutly to be wish’d. To post, to sleep;
      To sleep: perchance to make Editor’s Choice: ay, there’s the rub;
      For in that sleep of Monster’s Ball what dreams may come
      When we have shuffled off this Videogum
      Must give us pause:

  23. What’s in a name? That which we call a Topher Grace by any other name would smell as sweet.

  24. Bev and Bob have caused a mini-insurrection in my office! #videogumeverywhere

  25. This made me cry a little.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.