As you’ve probably heard, the 3D Justin Bieber concert-film/biopic directed by Jon Chu (Step Up 3D The Streets) opens in theaters across the country today. Some of you may be less familiar with Justin Bieber’s career than others, and perhaps you are curious about the story of a courageous young man (8-years-old) who refused to give up on his dreams for 8 whole years and would like to learn more about his life and work by seeing this movie, but you aren’t sure whether or not you are allowed to go see it, or whether you must simply report to jail. The following quiz should help you determine the answer. Award yourself one point for every “yes” answer and zero points for every “no.” Good luck!

Q: Are you older than 10 years old?
Q: If someone were to ask you if you loved Justin Bieber, would you correct them and say “no, I am IN LOVE WITH Justin Bieber”?
Q: Have you ever looked up Bieber Fever on WebMD?
Q: Do you have misguided opinions about the acceptability of wearing sweatpants in public?
Q: If you had to describe how many bills you pay each month, would you say it is “more than zero”?
Q: Have you ever been involved in a dog-fighting ring, or any other kind of animal-combat sports?
Q: Do you know who Chris Hansen is?
Q: Do you like The Lovely Bones?
Q: If you had to describe Justin Bieber with just one word, would it be “sexy” (1 point) or “8-years-old” (0 points)?
Q: Do you have a history of imprisonment?

Add up all your points! If you got a 1 or higher, please go to jail. If you got a zero, I think it’s probably inappropriate for you to be reading Videogum, but if you are going to read Videogum, make sure to ask your parents lots of questions because your body is probably going through a lot of changes right now.

Comments (48)
  1. Don’t be gross. Of course I’m not going because I think Justin Bieber is sexy. It just happens to be an ideal place to pick up chicks.

  2. This post made me laugh a lot.

  3. I wonder if Justin is Team Toilet Dump or Team Mystery Butt.
    Okay, now I’m going to jail.

  4. It must have touched some kind of chord, since Gabe posted the picture where JB looks the most like a Smurf (née Schtroumpf)

  5. This is insensitive. My family has a history of Type II Bieber Fever.

  6. I’ll do what you said, Gabe, but I’m confused. Are they showing “Never Say Never” in jail or something?

  7. Because of the large number of creeps out there, I can see this film GROSSing a ton.

  8. I thought this was the poster for Blue Valentine?

  9. Happy Valentine’s Day Weekend, Monsters!

    How ‘bout chat? password: enhance

  10. Morality quiz: you’re in an airplane and the in-flight film is “Never Say Never”. Do you?
    A) Simply refuse to put on your headphones and avert your gaze for the duration of the film?
    B) Ask the stewardess for the movie to be changed via extreme tantrum?
    C) Suffocate yourself with a tiny airline pillow?


  11. You tell me this after I fadangoed my tickets

  12. Do you love Justin Bieber’s music? Do you buy every magazine with his picture on the cover? Are you over the age of 30?

    Give yourself one point for every cat you own.

    Is the answer, “over 10?” It’s over 10, isn’t it?

  13. And the Oscar goes to Ellen Page

  14. Pop quiz, hot shot
    there’s a bomb on the plane
    if the plane flies over 55 places, the bomb is armed
    if the plane then proceeds to fly over fewer than 55 places, the bomb explodes
    what do you do?

    (dramatic pause)


  15. Oh man, I didn’t want to go to jail this weekend! I had so many plans.

  16. my time in jail is really going to mess up my appointment to get the justin bieber portrait tattoo above my left breast…shucks.

  17. Wait, Gabe is older than 10 and knows who Chris Hanson is.

  18. So glad you didn’t ask, “Have you ever googled Justin Beiber?”
    or these eyes would have missed the best three-dimensional biopic of the last 10 weeks!

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