Headphones UP:

How are videos like this not just their own TV station yet? I’m not joking. I’ve never played a game of World of Warcraft in my life, and for that matter, I’ve never played any videogame that involved multiple-players on-line talking into headphones. I’m more of a Katamari Damacy man, myself. Just a lone prince, Dottie, a rebel prince, wadding everything up into my life. But I would DEFINITELY watch a TV station that was just this all the time. It’s hilarious! Always! “And now, back to Leroy Jenkins.” Ugh, the worst part is that someone probably will eventually make this into a TV network and it will be hugely successful and I won’t see A DIME. That’s the way of the world. The same thing happened when I invented Lunchables. “Why don’t we invent Lunchables and call them Lunchables.” How I rue ever saying that in that room full of lunch executives that definitely existed. Anyway: make it happen, Ari Gold, and send me a check for one million dollars. The best part about our new station? NO OLIVIA MUNN! (Via TheDailyWhatGeek.)

Comments (59)
  1. One time I tried playing the second Katamari Damacy game but the menu screen was so complicated I couldn’t figure out how to start playing so I quit video games forever.

    • That’s funny because I too hate video games, but I spent a weekend visiting my brother and I found Katamari to be the only video game I could tolerate. ‘Wait , so I just roll around and pick stuff up!?’ My excitement ended once the king evaluated my ball, he’s never satisfied with me! #daddy issues

  2. Jeremy Mcduggle
    “I don’t need to save my cloak mutha fucka”

  3. Always trying to make Leeroy Jenkins a star.

  4. And for a complete turn around of online multi-player games, Call of Duty. Home of 10 year old redneck, racist, homophobic dicks.

    • My brother likes to tell a story about how he was playing Call of Duty and one of the kids he was playing against was talking like a hard ass gangsta. “N!gga this, bitch that, fuck you up son, etc. etc.” And then the next thing he hears is the kids dad busting in: “What is going on! There are graham crackers ALL OVER this room! You’re grounded!”
      I think that’s a pretty good encapsulation of the CoD Shit Talker Demographic.

  5. I don’t know much about it, but I heard that Jim Kirk was the only one to ever defeat the Katamari Damacy.

  6. I definitely watched all 3:15 of this instead of getting ready for work, which I am definitely late for.

  7. What are you talking about, Gabe? I know you’re lying, I was there for your virtual wedding to FurryDelight31 in Second Life, remember?

  8. (1:23) “You Don’t Have any Cloak left cuz you fucking waste it all the time!”
    (1:26) “I Don’t Care. Debo Plays for the Crowd Not the Actual win. Just say jokes and shit, scream out stuff.”

    We Are Being PLAYED, Son.

  9. I like it when he gets all quiet … “Okay I got two Banshees, let’s see how I can hustle this.” What a little cutie.

  10. Is Debo Lonnie? Finkle Einhorn.

  11. “HAHAHAHAHA! Nerds. Now let me comment about this anonymously on a blog.” — Me, without a hint of irony, about two minutes ago.

  12. If you can’t cloak Banshees all over the place, then it doesn’t belong IN YO’ FACE, SON!

  13. This is exactly how my friends and I used to talk when we played Risk

  14. Sorry, all I heard was Katamari.

  15. This reminds me of when I worked in Home Depot and the Paint nerds would use slang to discuss the newer Star Wars: “Yo man, mutherfucking Yoda snapped, on the real.” “that’s my N***a, dawg, I’ve been told you he a beast” Etc.

  16. Total nerd moment, but one of those dudes sounds EXACTLY like Mike from Penny Arcade.


  17. And just so I understand this video correctly, it’s Debo versus the other guy? I’m basing that on this quote:


    • Yeah Debo was Terran with the Banshees and he was harassing at both of “the other guy’s” bases.

      So “the other guy” would move his units to defend one base, and Debo would just fly in the back of his other base and rack up kills.

      I <3 Starcraft (2)


    You’re only fooling yourself, Gabe.

  19. As somebody who works in IT, I have something to say here.
    As far as i’m concerned, in real life people talking about video games all the time is NOT funny.
    People (GEEKS) who spend their lives on starcraft or world of warcraft are NOT funny.
    And most of all, working (living 9 hours per day) surrounded by these people is NOT funny AT ALL.

    It’s just HELL.

  20. I have exactly zero understanding of what was going on in that video.
    That game looks like no fun at all.

  21. Gabe, if you had invented Lunchables, you would have invented Lunchables.

  22. I didn’t know Steve Winwood played Starcraft.

  23. Do you guys remember that post about the guy who said “fuck” 80 billion times while playing a videogame? Good times.

  24. The song at the end is the best.

    It’s not exactly what Gabe was talking about, but in South Korea where StarCraft is the national sport, there’re two or three designated StarCraft TV channels that just play commentated video of StarCraft matches. Even stranger, you, in America, can pay to see seasons of the South Korean Pre-Season and Seaon matches commentated in English. Even stranger, I know people who pay for it. I mean, if it’s your thing, it’s no stranger than Pay-Per-View sports, but, man that just sounds so boring.

  25. yall muthafuckaz remember that “i’m juggernaunt bitch” x-men video? hahaha. oh yeah, the chick at the end of the video sounds mad cute.

  26. Here is the Nick Jr. to your StarcraftTV station (metaphors!):

  27. ██ ▬►

  28. Was that the voice of a girl or a very, very young boy at the end?

    On one hand: HELL YEAH! GIRL GAMERS!

    On the other: Oh no…that voice belongs to a 12 year old boy…

    I’ve never had so many conflicting feelings in my life.

    • Me too. It’s normal that 12 year old boys don’t contribute anything. But the only contribution of a girl being “Oooh, are all turret players so crafty? *bat lashes* *twist gum string*” is just embarrassing in this day and age. For shame, girl-gamer! For shame!

  29. So long, Dottie.

  30. gabe just earned more gamer respect (which is the best kind of respect) for liking ‘katamari damacy’

  31. I am so in love.

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