Right. No. Nope. No. Goodnight. See you all in hell. (Via MediaMatters.)

Comments (64)
  1. I keep thinking that sign behind her says “Vote not now” and I can’t help but thinking that my subconscious is trying to tell me something in Yoda’s voice.

  2. She won’t be eligible for 15 years, by which point we’ll be long dead
    Thanks 2012

  3. Making a run for the office is how she got Tripp

  4. I, for one, would like to see America get back to its roots.

  5. She may not rule out a run for office, but I’ve already ruled out voting for her.

  6. What’s wrong with Bristol?! I know that I would want her to be our president.


  7. Every state of the union address would end with, “Thank you. God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America, n’ stuff.”

    • Her first speech on the campaign trail will address teenage girls across the nation, saying, “You don’t have to worry about the consequences of premarital sex, for I am suffering for your sins. Now tell all your sex-buddies to vote Bristol, K?”

  8. Shut up Bristol Palin.

  9. Can we put the Palins on a rocket and shoot them off to colonize some other planet? Ideally the sun? What would this cost? You can have all my money ever.

  10. What are the chances that Americans are going to vote for the offspring of a politician, just because of name recognition? Especially when said offspring has had a choppy past that is not reflective of the “family values” espoused by the party and made an ass of themselves on national TV.

    Oh… Right.

  11. Forget the presidency. Bristol’s got her eye on that Christian dictator position that’s just opened up.

  12. the next shot clarifies that they meant “of stupid”

  13. I don’t have anything against Bristol Palin. She took advantage of her mom’s ‘celebrity/political’ status and used it to make a buck. That’s good businessmanship.

    • I’m super excited about her use of her unplanned pregnancy as an argument for abstinence. But other than that, yeah, who cares? People just hate her because her mom’s a bitch and she can’t dance.

      • Well, also because she’s not honest about how realistic or useful abstinence is as a national sex ed program and because she is basically a mom touring the world saying “My child is a regret I would not wish on anyone. Don’t make the same mistake I made!” Presumably he will never learn to read or watch TV and thereby find out his mom made this her life’s work.

        I would prefer to see her go on a national tour saying, “Sex is really fun. Start when you’re 17, that seems like a good time. Don’t use it as a weapon or to build self-esteem, though–just do it because it’s fun, preferably with someone you love. Oh but don’t imagine you’re going to marry the person you love at 17, that is stupid. You’ll see. Also, girls, get on the pill! Boys, always wear condoms! And spoon. The end. Oh and PS, cap the number of partners you have per year at like 4 or 5, max. Anything past that you might have a compulsive disorder and you’re not really getting to know the person, which is really kind of the main point. But, yeah, it’s fun, so go for it, kids! And as a nice side effect, school shootings will decline.” Why not say that, BRISTOL?

        • I agree with all of this (except the 4 or 5 max part because everyone’s sexuality is different for everyone and yadda yadda), but can I relay a quick non-sequitur on the “sex as a weapon” thing?

          I got married five months ago and apparently no one knew about our registry. As a result, we got a lot of strange gifts that reflected the personalities of the giver. So my childhood next-door neighbors gave us a booklet about how we should conduct our marriage based on Biblical text. A good seventy-five percent of the chapter on sex was reserved for a passage entitled “Don’t Use Sex As a Weapon”. It contained scores of passages from the Bible referring to women who are manipulative in the sack. It became immediately clear that the author had a deep hatred and distrust for a past or present partner. We still occasionally read passages at parties.

          They also gave us a large cast-iron cross draped with a crown of razor-sharp thorns that would be ideal in the event of a zombie apocalypse. All of this is true.

  14. These guys knows what she’s talking about:

    2012! Let’s do it! Ancient Mayans knew it was meant to be!

  15. These campaigns just start earlier and earlier each cycle. We just had the 2010 elections 3 months ago and you’re already thinking of 2028?

  16. Dear Fox, at that age I’m guessing she won’t rule out whether she will be eating pizza tonight instead of a salad so maybe relax with the whole Presidency thing?

  17. In related news, Chet Hanks won’t rule out winning an Academy Award.

  18. I’m pretty sure Bristol could at least name a supreme court member or a magazine when asked in an interview.

    Of course, her answers would be “Diana Ross” and “Teen Vogue,” but it’s a start.

  19. “Bristol Won’t Rule Out Run At Office”

    -Neither will Trig.

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