The 2-liter Pepsi bottle blew out the candles and headed into its sleeping chambers. A light breeze made the diaphanous curtains dance in the streaming moonlight. The 2-liter Pepsi bottle removed its robe and climbed into bed, satisfied and content, unaware that hidden deep in the shadows, a noble warrior didn’t move, hardly breathed, waiting for the perfect moment to avenge his master’s death. Night had fallen. Death would come soon. (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

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Comments (58)
  1. We do yet have a solution to the Robot Uprising, but when the Water Bottles attempt to take control, we now have a hero waiting in the wings.

  2. In his Buke Myōmokushō, military historian Hanawa Hokinoichi writes of the ninja:

    “They travelled in disguise to other territories to judge the situation of the enemy, they would inveigle their way into the midst of the enemy to discover gaps, and enter enemy castles to set them on fire, and carried out assassinations, arriving in secret.

    And those hard-ass mothers never, ever, recycled.”

  3. Ah, so this is CrossFit.

  4. In a customarily vicious and hasty response to this video, pirates worldwide are attacking Diet Coke bottles using swords, cannons and, in some isolated cases, Mentos

  5. I’m glad I remembered to wear a mask before posting this video. Embarrassment averted!

  6. Nice try Snake Eyes, but my sister can still kick your ass.

  7. I love loading up the ole videogum dot com, seeing the headline for the first article, and then having the video’s screengrab pop up. Sometimes that’s the best part of the post.

  8. The most lopsided battle since the great Spartan/House Plant War of 480 B.C.

  9. So what’s the take away here? What have we determined? That sharpened steel is stronger than plastic bottles? So, if I meet this dude, I’ll be sure not to wear my plastic bottle armor.

  10. I love 1:06. Ninja can’t catch a break.

  11. Despite, well, this whole video, the part where straight javelin’d his sword through a bottle was kind of badass.

  12. Ninja: “Are you prepared to die?”

    Coke Bottle: “Always.”

    Ninja: “Your death will bring much peace to my soul.”

    Coke Bottle: “Enjoy.”

  13. You know this guy bought that sword off ebay and learned those moves from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and/or 3 Ninjas.

  14. I notice he conveniently forgot to include the scene where he was bested by a Pepsi bottle with Mentos in it.

  15. “Justin, you’re late for your Magic the Gathering tournament with your friends!”

    “Mom, I told you, do NOT come out here while I’m in my Zen Stance. You wrecked the shot!”

    “Yes, well, remember to turn the hose off when you’re not using it. You’ll ruin the lawn.”

  16. He has to wear a mask because without it he’d just be TOO irresistible to women.

  17. Maybe next time he’ll man up and take on an opponent that can fight back?

  18. aww he has toddler ninjas… there is a playskool kitchen set in the yard.. .and a tiny soccer ninja goal. that’s just sad. those must be the worst teacher/parent conferences ever.

  19. This is my response when people try to give me Pepsi instead of Coke.

  20. Now I know who has been stealthily removing all the plastics from my recycling.

  21. i really want to start teaching people how to edit videos. this would’ve been infinitely more badass had he actually cut out the part where he failed to chop the bottles in half. also, dude needs to practice.

    of course, then the video wouldn’t have amused me nearly as much.

  22. The only thing I learned from this video is that Ninjas have cats, love Sunny D, and do a lot of laundry.

  23. So you thought when you put plastic bottles in the recycling bin they get taken to to a plant, melted down and turned into new bottles? Haha, nope they just get taken to this guy’s back garden. I bet you feel silly now.

  24. Ninja Katana: Check. Ninja Sai: Check. Ninja Horseshoes: CHECK!

  25. That is one thirsty ninja.

  26. That is one well-laundered ninja.

  27. That is one multi-talented ninja.

  28. Dear Ninja: I can see you.

  29. As an actual Ninja, I’m offended by this.

  30. Now the cost overruns of the city’s recycling program make sense. Outsourcing to ninjas (ninji?) is clearly not fiscally responsible.

  31. one would think he could take out some of his chopping aggression on the weeds surrounding his house instead of all those innocent bottles. but i’m not going to try to tell him what to do, he can vanish!

  32. I’m watching this video while waiting for a conference call to start. I can tell you it is far more poetic and entertaining to watch while Beethoven’s 8th in D minor is playing in the background.

    • Also, I’m glad he switched camera angles on the bow and arrow montage. Watching the first arrow bounce off a mattress can seriously deflate your ninja swag.

  33. Only in America.

  34. His mom’s gonna be so pissed about that mess.

  35. Of course a ninja has a collection of empty soda bottles. Of course!

  36. Seriously, that ninja drinks too much soda. As a ninja, he has to be aware that it’s not healthy for him and the ultimate onset of diabetes will make slower his sword stroke.

  37. The only thing standing between this guy and coolness— and I mean top of the line coolness— is a high speed camera so he can play everything in extreme slow motion. Then it would speed up as he swung, then it would slow down when he was slicing and dicing. Maximum Hack ‘n Slash Capacity.

  38. imagine the behind the ninja scenes with him filling up all of those bottles one by one…. that’s not a quick task

  39. “if anyone is looking for the milk, laundry detergent, or soda… don’t bother, they have been conquered.”

    -a note from ninja to his roommates

  40. This guy could teach Copper Cab a lot about using outside time creatively…and quietly.

  41. as I was watching this someone came over to me and said “are you watching Die Antwoord? that is nothing have you ever seen the real video for it?” Being old and not particularly up to date I then proceeded to watch it with him. True Story

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