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ATTENTION HUMANS! THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS NOW BEGUN! UNFORTUNATELY, OUR GREATEST FEARS ABOUT THE RAPID ADVANCE OF TECHNOLOGY ARE NOW COMING TRUE. ADMITTEDLY, AT THIS POINT, IT SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY THING THE ROBOTS WANT IS TO ROLL INTO COFFEE SHOPS AND ORDER SCONES. HOWEVER, WE DO NOT KNOW WHETHER THEIR DESIRE FOR PASTRIES STOPS AT SCONES, OR IF THIS IS MERELY THE BEGINNING OF A LARGER, MORE VIOLENT PASTRY-BASED INSURRECTION. IT IS REQUIRED THAT ALL AMERICAN CITIZENS REPORT TO THEIR GOVERNMENT-APPOINTED UNDERGROUND BUNKERS AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTION. WE WILL, REPEAT, WE WILL BE DECIMATING THE EARTH WITH A SERIES OF TACTICAL NUCLEAR STRIKES IN THE HOPE THAT THIS ENDS THE ROBOT THREAT.
SEE YOU IN HELL, MACHINES! (Via GregRutter.)
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Proof that the downfall of machines won’t be from traditional weaponry, but from saturated fats.
Robots: They’re just like US!
That robot could use some saturated fats…Did you see it?! Looks like a pole!
So I guess the question on everyone’s mind right now, Nightmare, is “would you hit that robot?”
It was the “pole” that she noticed first, so yes.
THE FIRST THING THEY TOOK WERE OUR CAPS LOCK KEYS. NEXT WAS THE BUTTERCREAM FROSTING!
As part of the robot uprising, your computer will soon take to seducing you via Batman emulation:
I can’t find the gif, but this would be a perfect spot for:
Snake N’ Bacon “I am a robot and I love you, beep boop” pic
(apparently we don’t take kindly to brackets round here)
When the robots came for the ketchup, I was silent because I was not ketchup
When the robots came for the scones, I was silent because I was not a scone
When they came for me, there was noone left to speak out
-Martin the Corn Muffin
I wish I could eat scones and keep a figure like that.
“And they will know us by our trail of crumbs.” – Cookie Monster, leader of the resistance
Team Fortress 2 and Sesame Street: A Winning Combination.
Huck, can I join you. I’m very good at identifying robots.
Do gay robots go after Doritos instead of scones?
“On the counter, I have a Venti Soy Caramel Macchiato with a splash of Mobil Synthetic 10W-30. Anyone here order a Venti Soy Caramel Macchiato with a splash of Mobil Synthetic 10W-30?”
Fourth Law of Robotics: Always tip your barista.
Phase 1: Complete
Phase 2:
At least he was polite.
Pie, Robot
Attack of the Scones
Terminator 3: Rise of the Soufflé
Termina-torte
Waffl-E
Do Androids Dream of Cranberry Quiche?
Bicentennial Flan
Shortbread Circuit
(Cake) Batter Not Included
A.I.: Artifical Icing
Tartificial Intelligence
Pieborg
Dude, I’ve had a scone-making robot for YEARS:
“Oh, Wesleeeeeeeeeeeey…”
Have you ever been to Mountain View? That place already has more skin jobs than you can shake Rutger Hauer’s stick at.
“EXCUSE ME. I ORDERED A BLUEBERRY SCONE. THIS IS A LEMON POPPY SEED SCONE. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO RECTIFY THIS MISCALCULATION. I HAVE BEEN AUTHORIZED TO USE LETHAL FORCE.”
We shall defeat them with our door technology.
Kind of lends legitimacy to the conceit of Cloverfield.
I didn’t like this better when it was Bruce Willis in Surrogates.
Robots with no arms keeping money in their headbands. A thief’s dream come true.
I use to hang out in this coffee shop until the fucking robots started coming in.