My name is Gwyneth Paltrow. I live in a castle and give people condescending advice about how to live their lives. Here is my vagina.

Comments (283)
  1. Why do you have to tempt me while I’m at work?


  3. dude…..c’mon

  4. Is it possible for me to downvote this entire post?

  5. Oh, Gabe, I thought you were above this.

    Did you two have a lover’s quarrel? Is this your way of getting revenge?

    • I enjoy “what Gwyneth Paltrow does is ridiculous.” I don’t enjoy “gawking at her ladypartspants.” Unless she shouted “TAKE THAT GABE” at the time the photograph was taken, this repost is beyond the pale.

      • Yeah this is kind of gross. I mean, I know Gabe is 1,000 years old, but does he have to act like he’s 1,000? All lecherous and weird and don’t be in the same room as him?

      • Easy guys, you’re going to make Gabe feel bad about making any future Gwyneth Paltrow posts.
        And we all know how much we enjoy their seething primal hate combined with moral superiority. It’s like we get to be the worst and the best at the same time.

  6. I have 2 thoughts on this post.

    1. It is in poor taste.
    2. I am not above this.

    • I thought I was above this, but I still clicked on the link. Having ceded the moral high ground, I will still say that I think the inclusion of this post on Videogum means that for Gabe to characterize Gwyneth Paltrow as “The Worst” based largely on her own blog’s content is hypocritical at best . Especially since lack of perspective and self awareness are her greatest flaws.

  7. What a weird looking smile.

  8. “Now I know all the ladies can agree with me when I say that we love the feeling of security that goes along with wearing underwear, but we HATE the panty lines! I have found the most amazing brand of invisible underwear that solves both of those problems. They’re from this little boutique I found in London and they’re called Not Even Underwear ($30000)! Isn’t that cute? I heard that Burberry is also developing their own line of them at more affordable prices (~$10000). I can’t wait for Not Even Underwear to catch on in the States!”

    • That Gwyneth Paltrow impression was spot-on. I can’t tell if you copy-and-pasted that from a Goop letter or not. Could have used a little more castles made out of champagne, though.

  9. “This is my vagina. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My vagina is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my vagina is useless. Without my vagina, I am useless.” -Full Paltrow Upskirt

  10. Gwyneth, I can totally see your goop.

  11. god, even her vag has that self-satisfied smirk.

  12. Fuck you, Gabe.

  13. This would have been better if it were a joke.

  14. that was actually disappointing because its just panties, no roast beef curtains.

  15. Wait, why is this a post on videogum?

    • Seriously, I thought I refreshed and accidentally landed on

      • you people need to lighten up.

        but seriously we should sue gabe for being all like “there will be vagina” when in fact there was none to be seen just pantied crotch. yawn

        • Steve WINWOOD, et al. v. Gabriel DELAHAYE, an agent of VIDEOGUM Corp., a subsidiary of STEREOGUM MEDIA, LLC., and Gwenyth PALTROW.

          Plaintiff Winwood presents this litigation in his capacity as shareholder and customer of Defendant Videogum. Plaintiff contents that Defendant Delahaye, acting in his capacity as an agent of Defendant Videogum, breached a written contract to provide Plaintiff Winwood with requested photograhs of the vaginal area of Defedant Paltrow. Plaintiff Winwood claims that requested photographs were not provided as requested and dictated in said oral contract. Plaintiff Winwood further alleges that by offering said photographs, Delahaye falsely claimed that he had obtained visual images of the desired beef curtains.

          Honorable MANS, CJ., writing for the opinion of the court…

    • I think it’s on Videogum because it is something awful and embarrassing that has happened to Gwyneth Paltrow. That kind of news being relevant to Videogum, and the people who read it regularly, should come as no surprise.

  16. I was going to be all “ha ha whaaaat?” but I actually feel more “Seriously, what?”

    • Not to be all Seriousgum (NTBAS), but, uh, yeah. Are we….ironically looking at an upskirt photograph of Gwyneth Paltrow? Are we just going to all look at upskirt photos of everyone now, or have we decided to just look at the upskirt photos of people that we find sort of insufferable?
      It just seems really weird, and frankly as someone who really likes this blog and likes the community here it makes me feel like a weird dude who looks at peoples crotches as some sort of sexual punishment.
      Also I saw this yesterday on Fleshbot.

  17. Very Cunt-ry Strong.

  18. It’s all a prank.

  19. The reaction to this post has been overwhelmingly negative. A little moralistic for my taste, but fair enough. Worse than all the hand-wringing, though, will be the obligatory introspective post that Gabe writes whenever he realizes he may have crossed a line because a bunch of commenters flipped their shit about it.

    I humbly request that we all let this go and get back to the fun. I’m sure Steve will agree, friends.

    • “Can’t you just get over your objections to the misogynistic and sexually degrading jokes that we are making about women. They are in good fun. You are just too uptight.” –Videogum Comments

      “No, I can’t. Sorry.” –Me

      • Not #changingthesubjectgum, but Mans, the library pictures on your tumblr got me so much more excited than anything Gwyneth related. I think I want to be Karl Lagerfeld’s friend now.

      • I’m not saying that there’s no reason to be upset/annoyed/disappointed by this post. There is.

        But it should be looked at in the context of Gabe’s history of being understanding of and acknowledging the plight of the oppressed and underprivileged (women, various minority groups, etc.) on a very regular basis on this blog. He’s very understands his white male privilege and is clearly one of the good guys. My point is that he went over the line, people have made their feelings known, now move the hell on.

        By all means be upset, but by all means do get over it at some point.

        • “Because Gabe knows that he has white male privilege and things like how sexuality has been held against women and their bodies have been made into evil or embarrassing objects, that means that he can do the same stuff those men who are purposely vengeful and oppressive do, like try to humiliate a woman he doesn’t like by exposing and objectifying her body.”

          • Nope. Not what I said. I said that it’s fair to be upset, but to have some perspective on the degree of the offense and move forward.

          • Yeah, it won’t let me reply to the other comment, but that’s what I tried to say. If Sarah Palin (haha, WHAT A PERFECT COMPARISON) says something that offends me, I won’t bother trying to change her mind. If it’s someone who’s usually ok with these things, I actually feel the *extra* need to complain, because they should know better.

        • I agree and disagree. When someone says/does something offensive, yeah, it’s nice to take in consideration that person’s history with that kind of thing. Gabe is, usually, very conscious of these things! To the point where certain commenters are annoyed because how dare he point out that rich people have it easier than poor people GASP SHOCK GASP. But that doesn’t make that one act any less offensive.

          And no, Videogum is not my “moral compass”, but linking upskirt shots is pretty fucking shady to say the least.

          • Right, you should take who is saying something into consideration, but if it still ends up that they crossed the line, giving them a pass is a terrible move, as it lets others see the offense as okay, and it lets the person committing the offense forget that they have a line to be awares of.

          • Why the fuck is this downvoted? Ptsmith was being very calm and reasonable.

          • Napoleon, I pretty much always get downvoted when I have an opinion. It is swell and it is tiring. I know I’m not always the most tactful, but really, I don’t care to be when the other side is being offensive and will continue to willfully be so.

      • Mans, I didn’t completely agree with you on the 70% chances of rape post, because I thought the post itself was just fine, and although some comments crossed the line, they were mostly from people who cross that line a lot. But I just wanted to say this comment right here. Yeah. I’m 100% behind you, and TWSS.

    • Yeah god Montsers get over it. some woman got sexually harassed by having a stranger purposely take a picture up her skirt and then sell it for profit so lots of other morons could look at her underwear without her permission. We don’t like her so who cares about consent.


    • I don’t want to pick on you, R2D2, or any commenter, but here are a few things that are frankly fucking ridiculous:

      1) Upskirt photography existing.
      2) Upskirt photography getting posted to this blog, which is usually not a total cesspool.
      3) The idea that anyone’s frivolous hatred of Gwyneth Paltrow justifies treating her this way (laughing about this, objectifying her, making jokes that reduce her to a cunt–the body part, not the misogynistic insult).
      4) Telling people to lighten up when they point out that something is fucked up. What is so terrible about people saying “this is the worst” if they think this is the worst?
      5) Calling objections moralistic when they are just moral.

      This list is by no means exhaustive.

      • Thanks for the folks who are less lazy than I and who are explaining why this is uncomfortable. Let me add the creep factor of Gabe expressing his random dislike of a celebrity with sexual harassment. There is a long history of terribleness there that I didn’t think Gabe would take part in, but well.

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      • One million times, this.

        Upskirt photography is a thing that happens to LOTS of women–not just celebrities. I caught an asshole on the subway trying to take a picture of my vagina once. And as much as I dislike Gwyneth Paltrow as a celebrity, when I actual take a second to empathize with Gwyneth Paltrow as a person I recall how humiliating and disturbing my own experience with upskirt photography was. And then I want to scream and throw things.

        This is about sexually humiliating a person who hasn’t consented to it. And fuck anyone who tells me to “get some perspective.” Because this shit is traumatizing when it happens to you personally.

      • *Gasp* the c-word!

    • “Sorry, dude. You were Baby Pranked.” -Gabe

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  20. I’m not gay so I don’t have anything negative to say about Gwyneth Paltrow’s crotch picture. I did however like what Jim Norton said about Britney Spears’ crotch picture: “Her vagina looked like Bill Murray’s mouth in Caddyshack.”

  21. Stay classy, Videogum!

  22. I ‘Mad Glibbed’ my comment for this post.

    Dear Gabe,

    It has come to my Perfect Murder that you are the Worstest boy in the Iron Man. My Crotch starts Sliding a Door every time you speak. I would like to Bounce if you want to go to the Anniversary Party with me next Friday. If you Search please Run me at the Jefferson In Paris in 1,000 Years. I Loved you and everything about you.



  23. I’m offended.

  24. Don’t enhance. DON’T ENHANCE.

  25. I never knew why there was so much hate on Paltrow until last week. I read some of Videogum’s old posts and then I sort of got it. There is a point to be made that these getting out of a limo shots are all publicity stunts. I mean what’s the advantage of not wearing underwear to a place where you know you will be photographed? That being said, I would have loved to read some commentary on that, instead of just another linked advertisement for it. This came off very Mean Girls.

    Either way, I can’t wait for next week’s Jeff Dunham’s sex tape.

    • Way to Not Read the Whole Post, Jackass, she was wearing underwear

      • What’s the point?

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          • ??????????

          • Please explain what is humor, irony, and metahumor then.

          • Remember the ridiculous dust-up over a video NO One wanted to watch, yet universally Derided Gabe for?
            When the Hive decided to come to a “Moral” Conclusion that those who watched it or posted it were wrong (Because Gabe Said So, except, wait, Gabe Kind of Brought it to MY Attention since before that Point I didn’t know it existed)?

            Yeah, Referencing that.
            Chris didn’t look at the picture, obvs, bc he didnt want to.
            I did. I saw that Gwynnie Had Panties on. Completely the OPPOSITE of what Chris was asserting in his comment. So I made a Joke Referencing Events on this Blog’s Comment Post. Meta.

          • Your understanding of meta is poor…

          • Can I just say how much I hate when someone says “You people”. It really doesn’t matter what they say after that because it is SO condescending that I don’t bother reading the rest. #petpeves

          • @pt, If he is making a comment that comments on the nature of comments inside of the context about which it is commenting, which is his claim, then he is making a meta-comment. Some people here have expressed displeasure at the use of the prefix “meta” as a standalone word, but he did not use it incorrectly.

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    • Seriously though, this is another instance where if Gabe hadn’t pointed it out, i wouldn’t have seen it because I don’t actively search for A: Upskirt Pics and B: Gwyneth Paltrow.

    • “whose areas need serious work”?


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        • Your understanding of troll is poor also.

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          • Just to be fluffy, because it seems like I only ever comment to be bitchy, I’m really liking the cut of your jib today, PT.

          • You are responding to me, which expresses some level of interest. The only time I respond to people repeatedly is when they are actually involved in the exchange.

            I don’t go downvote every comment of anybody. I really, really, don’t spend that much time by my computer. When I do downvote, 90% of the time I respond also. That 10% is when someone else has already responded better than I could. Overall, I rarely downvote, but upvote tons.

            So, stretching my theme a little, I think I can say you have a poor understanding of ergo.

          • You guys, I’m worried about DS3M.

            I say this with respect and acknowledgment that I don’t know you outside of your comments here but as a total internet stranger, but just relax. Nearly every time you comment here lately, it’s like you have some epic meltdown and announce your “retirement” from Videogum (Which is, boiled down, a pop-culture blog. On the Internet.)

            Again, I don’t know you personally. The internet is the internet and will always be the internet as long as there is an internet. In fifty years, kids will go on shooting sprees with plasma guns because someone telepathically downvoted their MindTweet about a thought on someone’s they were following. The more immediate and constant the communication, the greater the likelihood of negative feedback and exposure to ideas not conducive to your own. If you put yourself out there and aren’t universally accepted, it can anger up the blood.

            I truly hope this doesn’t come off as condescending, but calm down. For the most part, Videogum is what we all wax philosophical about: hilarious, thoughtful, perceptive. What I loved about this post is the incongruity of it. “Haha, upskirt pics on Videogum?!” – Me. That’s all. I didn’t look for misogyny. I didn’t look for sexism. I didn’t see it. I didn’t get pissed when I saw a string of six million comments crying misogyny or sexism. You need distance. You need perspective. If every interaction on the internet carried emotional weight, the white collar work force would commit unorganized mass suicide. Daily.

            I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore so let me just say, “Who Cares?” Come to Videogum! Comment on a trampoline accident! Hell, even downvote a post that you don’t like! That’s what the internet should be. What it shouldn’t be is the vast majority of this comment section.

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        • I don’t know, the dude saying “I know women with no kids whose areas need serious work in comparison to Ms Paltrow’s” would be the Troll, because Perez Hilton is that way ——————–(…)—–(…)—->> But whatever, you’re the regular, I’m just a lurker. Be disgusting then accuse people of not getting humor all you want, if this is your Crusade of the Day. In fact, let’s all share stories of totally gross vulvas we’ve seen in our time, am I right, you guys? Me first. BARFS.

  27. I can’t stand her face. Why would I want to see pictures of her bottom-face?

    But seriously, et tu ‘Gum? You are better than this.

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      • I feel like there is a way to do humor (“meta-humor”) as was said, about this stupid trend, but this isn’t it.

        For example: The Wikileaks sketch on SNL where Joe Biden submits a similar article of Hilary, then turns the camera on himself saying “You just got Biden’d”

        I’m open to disagreement, but I felt as though that sketch sucessfully de-sexualized and de-shamed the trend by showing its ridiculous nature, and also by revealing the observing subject’s weakness/perspective.

        Here all we see is a humiliated Object. (I mean that in the Hegelian sense, but it stands in the “objectification of women” sense too)


      • Oh, now, I wouldn’t go that far. One vagina post does not an asshole make. I haven’t noticed any trend, and I still <3 Vgum and Gabe. I think this is a stray post that wandered into Ugh Town.

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  28. I sense a reset button thread coming.

  29. I thought it was funny.

  30. Slapping on a link and a couple sentences is hardly a post. Calm down everybody. Videogum doesn’t have to be your moral compass.

    • Clicking on that link is a choice. Visiting Videogum is a choice. If you don’t want to see/click on/read something, you don’t have to. Are upskirts tasteless? Sure. Other than that, what’s left to say? This is a throw away post comprised of three sentences and it’s very straight-forward. Moving on…

      • Is everyone making too big a fuss about this? Possibly. But there are two things I know! These are the only two things I know:

        1) Telling angry people on the internet to “move on”: HAHAHAHAHA. It… it doesn’t work like that.
        2) It’s great that some people weren’t offended, but others were, and I think both viewpoints have their validity and telling anyone, from either side, to “calm down and move on” it’s a bit too dismissive.

        Now I gotta go put on my cape and save the world from misogyny.

        • I didn’t say, “MOVE ON, PEOPLE.” I myself said ‘moving on…’ as in, I’m all done here.

          Why would I ever dream of telling a bunch of people on the internet what to do? You’re on the rampage, omelette, but you’re barking up the wrong tree here.

          • I’m not actually on a rampage. Haha. I’m taking a break from work, believe it or not. I wasn’t even arguing with you, sorry if it came off that way. I was aiming for lighthearted, which just shows how good my aim is. (Or maybe you’re just super-sensible oh ooops I’m rampaging again!) I even added that last sentence to show how seriously I’m actually taking this entire thing (I live in a country where nearly 900 people have died in the past week, so, uh, yeah). This whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. The post I could live with, the dismissive comments just added to a whole bunch of Thoughts and Feelings I’ve been having over Videogum whenever I actually read the comments here these days. I’ll go out for beers soon and forget Gwyneth Paltrow even has a vulva. Have a good day, and I don’t mean that sarcastically.

          • You came off as combative to me because you misinterpreted what I said then argued a standpoint I did not make. Going “HAHAHAHAHA. It… doesn’t work like that” comes off as combative to me (as well as condescending). I also never told anyone to “calm down and move on.” I didn’t tell anyone to do ANYTHING. I just gave people an out if they wanted one.

            Forgive me if I inaccurately characterized your commenting on this thread as a ‘rampage.’ You’re comments can be found all up and down it, trying to ‘whack all the moles’, as it were. It looked like a rampage to me.

          • It’s just weird because you seem more combative than I do? And I don’t think I’m the person with the most comments in this thread? I don’t know, maybe I am. This topic interests me. I stuck around. Big deal?

            To clarify AGAIN, I wasn’t arguing with you. Ever. My HAHAHA wasn’t me laughing at you. Yeah, I misinterpreted what you meant by “move on”, but I was never trying to “whack you”. I thought disagreement-with-joking-asides was the Videogum way, but eh. You said you were out of the thread. I just have a problem with being misunderstood, but what can you do. Let me go whack some more moles with my wildly angry lifestyle. Love me a rampage. I really wasn’t being sarcastic when I told you to have a good day.

      • I’m in this camp. Regardless of how you feel about this post, The entire argument of “I come to Videogum to get away from all of the bad stuff on the internet” puts completely undue pressure on Videogum to live up to whatever lofty expectations readers place on it. Are you going to like every post that is ever put up here, be it on moral grounds or just because it’s not that interesting to you? Probably not. And you have a right to not like this post.

        But to start completely shitting on a website that you obviously really like (as evidence by the fact that so many people are disappointed with this post and are saying things like “I thought you were above this”, etc.) seems kind of silly. Guess what? A lot of people read this site, and a they all have varied interests and opinions so not every post is going to appeal to everyone. Just don’t click the link. Read the next article. If you don’t like that one, skip it too. Or if you are truly offended, stop coming to the site. But please don’t try to tear down the whole site based on one post. Gabe isn’t your personal internet vetter. He is a blogger and he posts what he thinks/hopes we will find funny, and it seems he has a pretty high success rate. Once in a while he may miss in your opinion. That is bound to happen once in a while.

    • Thanks Hleb for saying what we all were thinking; I’m hoping people don’t use Videogum as their moral compass. Baby Pranks!

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  32. Maybe the next issue of GOOP should feature tips from a getting-in-and-out-of-the-car-while-wearing-a-skirt- expert. Preferably a vegan, Kabbalist getting-in-and-out-of-the-car-while-wearing-a-skirt- expert.

  33. If by “vagina” you mean “a tiny bit of her labia”, then I guess so. I was expecting a gyno office visit pic w/ a speculum as it’s difficult to see a vagina without one since it’s INSIDE THE BODY but GOOD JOB w/ ANATOMY CLASS, GABE!.


  34. I’m here for the taco party.

  35. I’d also like to point out that a vagina shot would have been taken with her permission at a gynecologist’s office, because the vagina is the channel on the inside, YOU GUYS.

  36. Not to get all seriousgum (no, but actually, to get all seriousgum), this post really brings me down. If you’re not a lady on in the internet, you might not realize that there are a not actually that many places that are friendly to ladies on the internet, at least not places where a smart lady would want to be. Videogum is one of those places! Gabe writes really well, really often, about the terrible ways women are portrayed in movies and TV, etc. So it’s just a drag to see this post on Videogum, and also to see all the comments dismissing any criticism of this post, because upskirt photos are gross when they’re being taken by guys on the subway with camera phones, and by paparazzi of Gwyneth Paltrow, and I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore, you guys! You can downvote me now.

    • As a “lady on the internet” who considers Videogum a place where I’d “want to be”, I can honestly say that I do not give two fucks about this post or “what it all means”. I don’t think it signifies some deep-seated misogyny on Gabe’s part. It was likely posted because he posts quite frequently about Gwyneth Paltrow and how she’s an idiot, and this is one example of that idiocy. Or maybe not! But Christ, people, don’t we have bigger fish to fry? Yes. Yes we do.

      • Of course we have bigger fish to fry! I would never argue that there are not bigger fish than this one. My concern is mainly that people are having reactions like “I do not give two fucks about this post and thus you who give maybe one-eighth of a fuck are idiots.” Is that possibly fair? I don’t even give one-eighth of a fuck, when I really think about it. But I do consider this to be Beneath Videogum, whatever that means.

        Also, I did not want my comment to come across as an accusation of deep-seated misogyny in Gabe. I do not believe that at all. Like I said, this is just one in an infinite series of upskirt photos of non-consenting women, and all of them are gross, and can we as human beings try to avoid them in the future, if possible?

      • I think it’s more like lazy misogyny, which like lazy racism, most all of us suffer from in some way (probably even womens, I don’t know), which occurred because of his frequent hatred of Paltrow, which lazy misogyny actually makes things worse in some way and makes moving on the wrong move, because lazy misogyny, like lazy racism, is the type that can be called out, and oftentimes corrected.

      • Oh, look, ladies can have different opinions! I thought we were The Borg.

        And it’s not really like anyone who’s spending, what, 30 minutes commenting on this post would be using those 30 minutes to END MISOGYNY. So no, we probably don’t have bigger fish to fry. We’re just people who comment on a blog, we don’t actually DO anything.

      • It was obviously posted to get the whole community into a spanking frenzy! DING-DONG

    • You summed up my thoughts exactly. I keep trying to break my addiction to Reddit because it’s such a vile misogynistic cesspool of human despair when it comes to women and I cannot even express how refreshing it is to have somewhere like Videogum instead. Gabe is a level headed dude who tends to know garbage when he sees it, so it’s disappointing when he posts garbage like this – but I can let it go if it doesn’t become a habit. There’s a difference between rending my garments in despair (“fetch me my smelling salts!”) and bemoaning the state of Videogum for this one post, and acknowledging that this individual post is offensive. Gwyneth Paltrow can be gross, but for heaven’s sake, she’s just a deluded rich woman – being clueless does not justify sexual harassment. The entire culture of “upskirt photography” is absolutely disgusting and just because a woman is famous doesn’t mean she grants the world access to her literal vagina. If ever a post deserved a little push of the reset button this is it.

  37. Are you going to make a post every time there is a new celebrity upskirt photo?

  38. I’m more offended than Ive ever been in my whole life. Got my lawyer on the phone now going over some legal strategies to rectify this here matter. I’ll keep you guys posted and updated on my progress through the courts. We will taste justice in our time.

  39. Haha, relax everybody.

  40. Dear GOD people:

  41. Jeez, are all you broads on the rag or something?

  42. Everybody chill. She is actually wearing panties. So all this arguing is moot. (Is that the correct use of that word?)

    p.s. gabe, i love you.

    • “Her privacy wasn’t totally invaded, so it’s totally cool to sexually harass her!”

      • “I am going to win the fight for morality with anonymous blog commentating.” – part time vermont smith underscore person whatever

      • It’s a losing game, PT. The upvotes/downvotes have spoken. I think Gwyneth is the only female celebrity Gabe hates, though, so at least we’ll only be getting her upskirt shot updates.

        Disclaimers: I hate Gwyneth Paltrow and actually think the best part of Videogum are the posts and not the comments. Let’s stop acting like Gabe is a baby who needs defending or he’ll get his hurt feelings and cry tears of a blogger. I’m sure that in 97 years the man has heard his share of complaints.

  43. can we start a gwen paltrow’s upskirt OR athlete puppies post? cause that would be a good thing to share.

  44. Looked better than Topher Grace’s vagina. Color me surprised.

  45. Here’s my take, since nobody asked or cares, but I’m unemployed, so I have time on my hands:

    I think to call this post (and Gabe by extension) “misogynist” is way too strong. Someone he intensely dislikes (to the point of distraction, which I’ll get to in a second) got mildly embarrassed on the internet.. One of his main antagonists did something so embarrassing that the jokes wrote itself. I imagine that if Mel Gibson’s nutsack was hanging out of his Speedo, he’d probably write something about that too. He didn’t even host the picture. Misogynist, it ain’t.

    I think what makes a lot of people (myself included) uncomfortable here is why Gabe thought this event was particularly noteworthy in his ongoing crusade to expose Gwyneth Paltrow’s irredeemable shallowness, and why he writes so much about said shallowness in the first place. Earlier posts at least gave pretty good evidence that she’s smug, un self-aware, and has a sort of Marie Antoinette style empathy toward helping her fellow woman; here she wore a skirt that was bit too short and the camera got a bit too close and her underwear rode a bit too far to the left. Britney Spears, it ain’t, either. If someone put a clip on YouTube of Paltrow dropping her venti latte on the ground, one gets the impression that Gabe would gleefully post that with some reference to “Gwyneth and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” and silently thank the fates that karma is getting one back.

    Which brings us to: who gives a shit about Gwyneth Paltrow, anyway? Why not Cher, or Johnny Depp, or somebody? There are scores of candidates to choose from, and maybe Gabe can snag some of that sweet OK Magazine demographic. Look, this isn’t a plea for civility or positivity or anything: what attracted me to the site was the HFTWMOAT and all those scathing episode recaps of Jersey Shore and Lost and the like. Lost is over, of course, but: he now refuses to watch the Jersey Shore, even though that show still produces far more vile, contemptible, and fascinating behavior from its principals weekly; and it seems like he thinks the Hunt is an albatross around his neck (this last part could be sour grapes on my part, as, since Gabe has rightly pilloried celebrities for trivial problems that the rest of us would love to have, it almost seems like he’s complaining about his paid job writing about pop culture and movies, which sounds pretty fucking great to this unemployed dude with no marketable skills; I should mention that I’m not 1/100th as funny as Gabe is and am woefully unqualified for any similar job, as this rambling parenthesis-heavy post makes clear. BUT STILL). The vicissitudes of one celebrity’s self-parodying life is just not as interesting a substitute. The monster following this site for a while has to wonder where the hell this is coming from, and when it will be over.

    In conclusion: TL; DR. Self-Potato.

    • Naw, I’m pretty sure filming someone dropping their latte is different from taking an upskirt photo. One is humiliating. The other is sexually humiliating and is a kind of degradation that is suffered only (and frequently) by women. It’s got a long and misogynistic history. I’m not suggesting that Gabe possessed misogynistic intentions in posting this. I’m saying that he could have taken a second and thought about whether the opportunity to humiliate Gwyneth Paltrow was really worth propping up a practice that is harmful to women.

      • I am sorry and beyond skeeved out that you had some asshole try to take an upskirt shot of you, and I am not going to take a stance on this VGum post one way or the other, except to say that the hundreds of photos and videos I have seen of soccer players with their wangs and globules hanging out of their shorts make me think that up-whatever shots are not entirely the provenance of women. Say what you will about how much guys definitely love chicks and the rest of the world looking at their junk, I have an otherwise-freaky husband who would object strongly to his private parts being made public without his knowledge/consent/blessing/financial rewards.

        • This is true. And it’s also gross and skeevy when it happens to dudes. The one thing I’ll quibble on is that often the photos of women come from a place that is highly aggressive. The possibility of an upskirt encounter becoming violent (or coming from a place of sexual violence) is much higher. At least, this is why my own experience with it was so disturbing. It’s hard to know how to react, because it’s really not worth getting into a physical fight with a guy who might want to do me real harm.

          Someone above mentioned that really aren’t such a big deal because body parts are body parts and it’s just our culture that tells us to feel humiliated by these experiences. This is completely true and I am the very opposite of a prude when it comes to revealing or low-cut clothing. The problem is not the body parts that are being seen, but the intentions of the people seeing them. The sense of titillation that comes from an upskirt photo (versus a picture of a woman in a bathing suit) is the lack of consent. And that’s all sorts of tied up with the fact that the people being photographed are women.

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  47. I think this is as good an opportunity as any to reference Ricky Gervais’ finest work:

    You open the paper, and you see a picture of Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car, and the headline is: “COVER UP LINDSAY, WE CAN SEE YOUR KNICKERS.” Of course you can see her knickers. Your photographer is lying in the road pointing his camera up her dress to see her knickers. You’re literally the gutter press.

    • The entire scene is wonderful, if you monters have got 5 minutes to spare. A lovely rant on the disgusting nature of celebrity culture. And it also explains why this post is kind of gross.

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        • A fish is getting a rectal exam, and he’s like “oy, be careful that’s where i poo and pee!”. And really why separate a disgusting function into TWO separate disgusting functions? Peehole: Oy poohole, i’m better than you! Poohole: Yeah? I wasn’t pooing myself till i was 12 years old.

          - Me doing Ricky Gervais standup?

  48. My browser crashed when I clicked the link. I’m taking it as outright mutiny at the prospect of having to display Gwyneth Paltrow’s vajajay.

  49. Just normal everyday mom stuff.

  50. “I do not think I’m going to cum” – Richard Montalban

  51. Linking to an upskirt is beneath you Gabe. It’s shitty.

  52. Wow, I checked this at work for 5 minutes and it was already heated. I had no idea it would get so much dissent. I am not a fan of upskirt pictures, but I also think Videogum wasn’t trying to offend anyone. Can we all agree upskirt shots are gross, but this does not a sexist make?

    Also there are worse upskirts to worry about. Will someone please think of the manatees?!

  53. Hey ptsmith_vt!

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  55. My internal monologue (as I clicked through): “I am so against this for so many reasons, this is so objectionable, why do you have to click so many stupid links to get to this stupid thing, why am I doing this, I am so against this, why don’t people wear underpants, why do people post this shit, OH–hello, flesh-colored thong.”

    WELL-PLAYED, Gwynnie. Lots Of Love.

  56. Yo…is this a PG/PG-13 website? Because I’m about to get mad raw up in this bitch, s0n.

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  58. Man, I opened a new tab with this one and came face to face with a Velociraptor and didn’t really notice that I had opened the wrong one. wah-wah.

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    • I don’t think anyone is shattered. And I think the people who found it objectionable made a pretty good/civil case for why they did. If introspection is required here, maybe it’s required by the people who keep insisting: “It’s the internet, chill out!” without acknowledging that attitudes propagated on the internet might actually reflect/affect the attitudes of people in real life.

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  61. Come on guys, this isn’t so bad. Remember when Gabe had glowing weekly reviews of “How i met your mother”? Yikes!

  62. finally this website is good for something.

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  64. Is anybody else back on this post just to see what the monster’s ball was all about this week? Mind if we just stand here together for a bit and look into the distance knowingly?

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