DORITOS

You may or may not remember that last year’s Superbowl did NOT feature an advertisement for the homosexual dating website ManCrunch.com after CBS refused to air the commercial. Admittedly, the commercial for ManCrunch.com was fucking awful. Very self-loathing and uncomfortable-making. Nevertheless, it was an obnoxious move on the part of CBS to turn down its standard fee of $900,000,000,000,000 per 15-second Superbowl commercial just because the product being advertised was for homosexuals. It’s 2010! It was 2010!

Well, now it is 2011, and Doritos brand tortilla chips is trying to get in on that sweet ManCrunch action with a couple of new Superbowl commercials that feature dudes being super gay for chips. “Like, euphemistically joking gay?” Not really. Like, straight up gay. JUST KIDDING, THAT’S GROSS. But basically blowing each other for chips. VERY cool. VERY ranch. I’ve posted two of the ads after the jump. Not really sure how they would make anyone, gay or straight, want to buy more garbage chips* but what do I know, I’m not Professor Chips. Which is just one of the reasons why I am not the President of Chips**. (Yet.)

Get it? Do you get it? If you get it let me know. Because I do not get it.

*Yes, Doritos are delicious. But being delicious and being garbage are NOT mutually exclusive characteristics.
**The chain of command requires that you first be Professor of Chips before you become President of Chips.
Comments (78)
  1. Hey, bro, will you pick me up a back of Doritos, no homo.

  2. Hahaha, being gay is reprehensible, but PRETENDING to be gay is funny!

  3. As the only one here with a PhD in Chipology, I’d like to say that recent studies have shown young men are 13% more likely to have homosexual tendencies when eating Doritos. That number jumps to 19% if they are baked.

  4. If you think those are bad, wait until you see the commercials for Bugles.

  5. I only minored in chips as an undergrad, but even I know that you can just buy a bag of chips at the store without sucking so much as one man’s penis.

  6. I realize that I can be Professor Serious, but jeepers, these ads are making me surly. Advertising executives, you are not doing a very good job! That may be harsh, but it is true!

    • It seems sort of extra-weird to me, because these are people who likely know all sorts of actual, real life gay people since they work in media in big cities. How do you not pick up on what is and is not an offensive depiction of homosexuality?

      • My sad assumption is that they know exactly what they are doing.

        They know that the outrage over the offensive nature of the ads will make everyone watch them and that the number of people who swear off Doritos because of this will be less than the number who say, “Oh man, I need to eat some Doritos because that commercial was really funny” and that even those who get really angry at some point will forget why they were mad and eat Doritos again. It is a no-lose situation for them.

    • Are we sure these are legit Doritos commercials and not just entries into the Doritos Crash The Superbowl contest? Because if they were in the contest, I can assure you that there were some BAD commercials up for grabs. I know that because I was in one of the awesome commercials that got buried by 1000 shitty ones.

  7. Wait until you see the commercials lined up for Dunkaroos.

  8. I can’t see these videos right now, but can I assume that they are riddled with obvious stereotypes just like 99% of all other TV ads? I can? Great.

  9. They sure got me pegged.

  10. They’re just testing the market for their new mascot, Chester Cheetah’s roommate Barry The Bear.

  11. So, are they trying to hit a new market? Because couldn’t they have been more offensive and just done this?

  12. I’m offended by overall theme ofcourse.

    but also, I’m offended by how badly the “story” in that second one was told.

    so, the dude is just salivating over the chips. and his neighbors, who are a gay couple, must have noticed him staring in their direction, cause they don’t say hi to him at any point in the ad; they’ve already said “g’morning.” his wife walks up looking a little quizical cause she sees that he’s salivating and that he’s staring in the direction of the gay couple. then they say “hi” to her. she already knew her neighbors were a gay couple, but that’s when we find out they are a gay couple. and only when we know that they are gay does she then suspect that her husband is gay. and she gets all grossed out by that.

    this is a story told by the biggest idiot ever. to write this you would have had to never have experienced chips, pools, gardening, having neighbors, being in a relationship, having a sexual orientation, or understanding the way time works.

    • I agree. Whats MOST offensive about these ads are how ineffective they are in making their offensive stereotypical depiction of homosexuality joke. At the very least try to coherently tell your bad joke!! I watched that second one three times and I still don’t know what the hell was going on. Was that her husband or her gay gardner? Its one thing for the joke to be bad its even worse when the commercial and the joke are bad.

    • Also: who drinks beer out of a margarita glass? Surely not the gays.

    • I liked the quick “Hi Barbara” line a lot but yeah these are fail.

      Nevertheless I wish there were more stupid ads that had shirtless hot guys pandering to me for money, Might have kept my TV if that were the case.

  13. I noticed Fresca chose to go with the counter programming route this year too:

  14. I wish I knew how to chip you

  15. We should at least be GLAAD that they tried.

  16. Until the Doritos logo at the end, I couldn’t tell whether these were commercials for chips or homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle choice.

  17. Did anyone watch the commercial after the gay ones? Because it was gross.

  18. This is going to be hot debate, but the second one made me laugh, and I even have pictures of gay men in speedos eating chips in my wallet. At least the second one went for humor (even if it was humor based on stereotypes and pandering to the Super Bowl crowd) while the first one just tried to make the viewer uncomfortable. Um, good luck–I watched all five seasons of Queer as Folk.

  19. Whatever, I heard Dorito’s is going to stop using MSG?? FUCK THAT. I want MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE from my chips, not ManSex/Gayness. When I want homosexuality, I am going to have gay sex, with a man, because I am gay, and when I want to eat a snack, I will eat your competitors’ delicious MSG-laced chips, because I am sick of the GLUTAMATE-O-PHOBIC LOBBY getting their way.

  20. What is plain to see is that, in real life, these men must not eat a lot of Doritos. Also, who brings chips to a sauna?

  21. It’s funny how all the companies that kill themselves with the Superbowl commercials are ones that don’t even really HAVE to advertise. (Besides Man Crunch, of course, I at least had never heard of them before last year.) “Doritos!?? Never heard of ‘em! Thems gays sure seem to like them, I wonder where they get sold?”

  22. Homosexuals? It is 2011!

  23. Does it bother anyone else that the dude in the first one was a big black dude? Is it more funny when homosexual behavior is implied with a big black dude? I really hope these commercials don’t air…or if they do I am not somwhere where everyone is laughing and saying to eachother that was awesome.

    • NO IT IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE BIG BLACK GUYS HAVE LARGE PENISES AND THE WHITE GUY IS JEALOUS BECAUSE HE IS LOOKING AT THE BLACK GUY’S BIG PENIS WHICH IS BIGGER THAN THE WHITE GUY’S! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT IS SO HILARIOUS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

  24. “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” – America

  25. Wait, so the guy’s penis was in that bag, right? I understood that correctly, didn’t I?

  26. Gay or not, those guys in the first commercial are sitting unhygienically close for being strangers in a sweaty sauna. Spread it out a little.

  27. This is dumb, and offensive. That said, I’ll take the guy on the right in the sauna commercial.

    • Me too, his flushed face is cute… I think I actually enjoyed that ad a little TOO much. And then I scrolled down and saw everyone’s outrage and felt bad.

  28. Doritos is wondering if Superbowl fans are Buy-Curious.

  29. Let’s focus on the real relationship between chip consumption and sexuality: WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW FOR THEM TO START MAKING DORITOS 3D AGAIN?

    http://www.globalpackagegallery.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=43139&g2_serialNumber=2

  30. Still not as gay as Fritos.

  31. Wait, why are you eating doritos in a sauna, bro? it would make sense if it was french fries or something, bro.

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