Bundle up, you guys. Preferably in metal clothing if you have it. And stay indoors if you can. But, not too indoors where no one can hear you? I don’t know. It looks it’s going to be a rough one no matter what. We probably just have to keep our heads down and weather the storm. The rape storm. Do you close all the windows or open all the windows during a rape storm? I can never remember. (Thanks for the tip, DS3M.)

Comments (75)
  1. A day of sunshine usually does not follow a day of rape. Just sayin’.

  2. Chance of Yikes: 100%

  3. That’s it. Into the bathtub I go, with a dining room table on top of me.

  4. You know, I think I’m just going to back out of this post slowly and quietly. Eeep.

  5. Hiding in a corner. Let me know when it’s safe to come out:

  6. Chances of rape, but the sun’ll come out, tomorrow. This Annie remake is shaping up to be pretty weird, you guys.

  7. The other 30% chance is Nutella, though, and Nutella is delicious. I’ll take my chances.

  8. Something something something rape something punchline.

  9. I dunno, in some places in the world (I’m looking at you, Africa) this forecast is pretty accurate. #sadgum

  10. Am I the only one who hears about a rape storm only after I left the house without bringing my combination umbrella/rape whistle?

  11. They meant a 70% chance of rap, guys! Check out Willow in Annie!

  12. Well they do have a pretty reliable weatherman:

  13. Wear your rape coats, you guys!

  14. So you’re saying there’s a 30% chance of NOT getting raped? Awh man!

  15. Its just a 70% chnace of Rape not Rape Rape, so its fine carry on your daily business.

  16. Just to be safe, you should probably just spray everyone you come in contact with in the face with mace.

  17. Know your rapists, people. Beware calls that start like this-
    “Hi! Larry’s the name, insurance is my game. Raping was another game of mine-hello?”

  18. All of your comments are really funny, and I never thought I would say this, but I wish I had a rape joke right now.

  19. Wait, is this a 70% chance of being raped, or of raping. Either way, I am staying home.

  20. Autocomplete strikes again.

  21. But it’s not rape if it’s consensual, right? So I might go out and have myself a nice day.

  22. Rape can be funny!

  23. TRIPLE TEAM

  24. I think that most of you are thoughtful and caring people, so it is hard for me to understand the appeal to you of jokes like this. Is it that hard to understand that maybe there are things that we shouldn’t turn into off-the-cuff jokes and running gags?

    I believe that words have meaning and power and can hurt. I believe that there are somethings that we shouldn’t casually joke about. I believe that the negative effect that this has on people that we care about outweighs our brief giggles. It is not wrong to want to err on the side of not perpetuating people’s pain.

    If I am uptight or not cool, that is fine with me.

  25. Well, at least the sun will be out the day after we are raped. That’ll cheer anybody up.

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