Comments (52)
  1. Question: What is a manscaper?

  2. The Bachelor has both kinds of white woman – blonde AND brunette.

  3. They’re just sad because now they can’t go on Bridalplasty.

  4. Years in the future, Sociologists will use this picture in their writings on the downfall of Western Civilization.

  5. No one gets bees

  6. But if you can’t find love on a dressed-up gameshow on national television, where can you? Huh?

    • saladmatch?

    • Also, part of me wants to try to go on The Bachelor. On Rose Ceremony night, I would be trussed out to the max in my nice sweatpants and my gym tshirt from 7th grade (with only moderate mustard stains). I also imagine I would be very sad when people say that they are not there to make friends, because friends are a good thing to have, and you shouldn’t just say no, you know? Because that hurts, manscaper lady. That hurts a lot.

      • I always want to try to get on stuff like The Real Word (does that still exist?) by acting like some character they would want, then insist on acting like a parody of myself and refusing to go along with their reactions:

        Me: What did you do last night? I stayed in and read The Man without Qualities, then watched Star Trek.
        Someone: Threesome!
        Me: Did you learn anything?

        • I approve of this plan. My plan, if I was to go on the real world, would be to scream at people for being filthy filthy barnyard animais, and was it really necessary to leave love puddles in the shower, and that I hope they know that their mothers will be watching this someday.

    • These ladies are just sad that they’re going to be missing out on some sweet hand jobs under the hand job blanket.


  7. I’ve watched some of this season of the Bachelor, only because it’s on every time I go to the Laundromat (“YEAH RIGHT” – other Monsters). This dude is not good looking and dumber than a pile of bricks, but these women still get all crazy over him. As a fun sociological experiment, I think they should just keep making the Bachelor uglier and dumber every season, just to see if the women on the show will keep reacting this way to him. My guess is yes, because the types of women that go on this show are blinded by competition.

  8. At first I was like:

    But then I was like

  9. While paging through I tried to remind myself that these are PEOPLE, and even though they’re on The Bachelor they probably still have legitimate feelings and I should try to, I don’t know, sympathize? Is that what I should be doing?

    • But are they legitimate feelings? Or have they either manufactured the emotions out of delusions of fame, or even out of aspirations of delusions of fame?

      • aspirations of delusions of fame + well vodka + DDs + vacant eyes = feelings. right? do i have that math right?

      • UGH. I do not feel bad for them AT ALL! This is season…what? 27 of the Bachelor already. Have they NEVER seen it before? Why are they all surprised when they have to share the man with all the other girls, when he’s kissing everyone else too, when there’s a crazy b* in the house, etc etc etc. If they haven’t figured it out by now they deserve some humiliation.

  10. Dear Internet. Thank you.

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