As you almost certainly have heard, Anne Hathaway has been cast in the latest Christopher Nolan Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, as Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman. Cool? We have to rely on our faith in Christopher Nolan at this point that the movie will still be good because it IS called The Dark Knight Rises, which is not a good name, and it WILL feature Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, which sounds bad, too. Oh well! Let’s just sit here in silence until 2014 or whenever the hell this movie even comes out and worry about it like a bunch of fucking nerds. ANYWAY, obviously the new Catwoman is going to need a cool new catch-phrase. What should it be? Here are a few very carefully thought out suggestions that are very good and very realistic and will probably end up in the movie unless you can do better.

  • “Have you ever danced with the devil wears Prada in the pale moonlight?”
  • “Where does he get such wonderful love and other drugs?”
  • “Kitty likes to scratch. Her innermost thoughts. Into her the princess diaries 2.”
  • “This means bride wars.”
  • “Brokeback MEOWntain.”

You know what, don’t make any other suggestions in the comments because these are all perfect so Christopher Nolan should just pick one of these. Thanks.

Comments (120)
  1. Rachel Getting Spay(rri)ed

  2. I like you; you remind me of my Paw.

    • If I could give you a nickel for all the upvotes I wish I could give this, you’d have all the nickels.

      Also, for the record, I remember back in ’06 some people wondering how Heath Ledger as the Joker could possibly be any good, and look how that turned out.

  3. That Batman had better Get Smart or he’ll find himself on The Other Side of Heaven

  4. “Don’t Get Smart with me.”

  5. I’m going to steal the Crown Jewels from the Gotham Museum, just like my Italian real estate developer ex-boyfriend stole millions of dollars from investors in a scheme in which he posed as the Vatican’s point man on real estate investing.

  6. Want to see where I can lick myself?

  7. At this point, we have to assume Christopher Nolan is just trying to make the transition to porn parody as seamless as possible. The Dark Knight Rises, indeed.

  8. This is one pussy that can wreak Havoc!

  9. I’m so good, they ask for me by name. Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow….

  10. ICE to meet you!!! (did I win?)

  11. Don’t be such a pussy.

  12. “I love the smell of kitty litter in the morning!”

    (Am I doing this right? I don’t think I am doing this right.)

  13. “Welcome to Wonderland, Batman.”

  14. I am so fucking pretty it’s hard to buy me as a villain! Meow!

  15. Why is everybody assuming that she’s going to be Catwoman? The press release only mentions Selena Kyle. I can see Nolan just using Kyle to serve the rest of the story before forging some vague connection to the traditional character of Catwoman. I’m not saying I wouldn’t enjoy Anne Hathaway in skin-tight leather, but I’m not sure that’s what we’ll get.

    Thus ends the nerdiest comment I’ve ever made.

    • No, that’s a good nerd point, That One.
      The press release only says Selena Kyle, not Catwoman.

      At this point it’s pure speculation that she’ll be dawning a skintight suit and stealing jewels, or whatever.

    • True, but I can’t see Bane carrying a whole movie. Also, he would be stupid to not to use the Catwoman-Batman/Selina-Bruce dynamic. It works so well.

      • Also, they have yet to address the rumored second female role in the film. Speculation of it being Ra’s Al Ghul’s daughter Talia is rampant.

      • I’m just sad we won’t be seeing Poison Ivy with Bane, cause 1997 called and told me that shit was amazing.

      • Could Nolan be planning on killing Batman? Because in the comics Bane breaks Bruce Wayne’s back, so…

        • I’m nerding out for a second, be forewarned.
          Nolan said this film is about bringing everything ‘full circle’, which to me means Batman realizing that he’ll never stop being Batman. Remember in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight he still seems to think he’ll eventually be able to stop. If they did the back breaking, I think they would need Nightwing.
          I’m also pretty sure Anne will make a good Selina Kyle, no matter how cynical certain 87 year olds are about it. (They have these things called talkies now).

      • Bane isn’t always portrayed as a grunting monster with no real intelligence. My guess is Nolan will use the Bane that is an escaped convict from somewhere in South America where he was imprisoned at birth for crimes his father committed and has visions of himself as some sort of divine king. This one is also enhanced by some sort of steroid cocktail but is also capable of intelligent thought and planning. He figured out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Read Knightfall. Also, I think her catchphrase should be “I’m prettier than Maggie Gyllenhall.”

    • just like Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent in the Tim Burton Batman!

      Billy Dee Williams IS Bane! “I will not kill you, I will BREAK YOU! this deal gets worse all the time!”

      I had too much coffee.

  16. Hello, I am Catwoman.

  17. Did she get dunked in sun lard before this photo? Plaster of Jersey, maybe?

  18. “Where does he get such wonderful balls of string.”

  19. The Dark Knight and the White Queen, together at last. #interracialmoviereferences

  20. “I am PurrrrrrrrrrincESS of GENOVIA.”

  21. Where’s the Mad Hatter? He was right behind me a second ago… Oh bother.

  22. Just so we’re clear, Christopher Nolan. THIS, the Catwoman from the Hush arc, is the ONLY Catwoman suit that you should even consider.

    • I prefer Darwyn Cooke. (pushes up glasses)

    • I’m sorry, it was cool to see Jim Lee draw Batman and the whole villain gallery, but the writing in it was terrible!

      • I just started attending comic book art school when HUSH was coming out, and all my classmates were flipping out over Loeb’s cliffhangers. I never saw what the big deal was, not being a fan of Batman comics anyway.

        It was hilarious to see them all flip out when the masterminds of the whole story arc were revealed. NER SCORN! They were all so disappointed.

        • Could have pointed the main head bad guy a million miles away. What a bunch of garbage. His first Red Hulk story was trash, his Ultimates 3 made me cry, and he pretty much made the Ultimatum a big joke. Oh, and don’t get me started at him introducing Romulus and the whole canine family tree to Wolverine. What an asshole. This is coming from a nerd.

          • I am glad that I don’t know about most of what you are talking about.

            But I did buy 5 issues of Red Hulk for McGuinness’ art and all of Ultimates 3 for Madureira’s, and man— I should’ve saved my money.

          • I’ve learned that comic art can be found on the web and keeping a strict diet of Invincible & Deadpool MAX can save you a lot of money and keep a lot of happiness.

          • Jeph Loeb is the Joel Schumacher of comics. Buuuurrrrnnnnn!

          • @whoatom101 definitely a lesson learned. I touch and go on a lot of comics I read, usually content to follow artist/writer teams around on their various projects. Sometimes just an artist will pull me toward a book, but most of time the writers are integral to my enjoyment of the book, or if it’s a book where the artist is the writer, and it’s like a vanity project.

            I wasn’t was reading Loeb’s run on Batman/Superman because of McGuinness, and followed them over to Red Hulk, but my patience had worn paper-thin at that point. Mad! on Ultimates 3 was me humoring me from 12 years ago, being a huge fan of Madureira’s work back then. Not so much now. The guy can stick to making video games.

            I don’t check out scans of art online, but a lot fo comic artists are on deviantart and they regularly post pages and covers, so I get to check out a lot there.

            As far as books I buy though (usually 6-10/month), the writing has to be there first and foremost, and if the artist is fantastic, I’m a regular customer.

          • *I WAS reading Loeb’s run…

            Also.. man. Nerd alert.

      • I have to disagree. Loeb is fantastic. Hush was good, but Long Halloween was like holy shit good.

        • For All Seasons and Long Halloween were great. Marvel’s “color” books were fun to read as well. Hush was just an excuse to have Lee draw the entire cast. Sorry to disagree with you.

          • Also Loeb’s Superman For All Seasons was underrated and quite good for a Superman comic book.

            He also has too many bad ones to list, and helped run the TV show Heroes into the ground, so I have mixed feelings.

    • Best. Comment. String. EVER.

  23. Abortion is murder! Hisssssssssssss!

  24. Rachel Getting Meowied (annnnnnd hang head in shame)

  25. Why is every nerd movie always rising? Rise of the Machines, Rise of Cobra, Rise of the Silver Surfer. Can we please get some more creative, unleavened nerd movies? Thx.

  26. Julie Newmar was the purrfect Catwoman. I think it would be impussible for her to get in the cat suit now.

  27. “How about a little game of cat and bat, hisssss”

  28. “I am the cat, and I am here to steal!”

  29. “Now that I’m dressed as a cat, my transformation into an anime character is finally complete! With my loyal army of otaku, I will rule the world!”

  30. “I’m the goddamn Catwoman!”

    too soon?

  31. “Batman, this isn’t over. I’ll get you just as soon as I’m done dragging my ass all over this carpet.”

  32. “I hate Mondays!”

    What? She looks like Garfield in that picture.

  33. Everytime she says a line, she always has a long PAWS

  34. Something with catastrophe. So all the stupid girls in high school can say it.

  35. I’m not good with catchphrases, but here’s an early screen shot of Anne’s turn in the upcoming masterpiece…

  36. “Wait’ll they get a load of meOW!”

  37. Eddie Murphy as The Riddler, god damnit!

  38. Who cares about the slogan? Just get Prince to do “Catdance” and everything will be purrfect.

  39. Off topic….did you guys read about Jennifer Lopez “threaten” Ricky Gervais backstage @ the Golden Globes??? Bwahahah!

  40. Great, she’s just gonna princess diarys up the entire movie. You’re not a REAL princess, anne hathaway, you’re not a real princess. YOU’RE NOT A REAL PRINCESS.

  41. I know it’s not a big deal to anyone, and that people are capable of developing the exact same ideas independently (Hello, theory of evolution), but I must at least attempt to defend the honor of our Huckabeast and say that he totally tweeted “Brokeback Meowtain” before Gabe. That is all. Carry on.

  42. “Cat sound!”

  43. im just glad both my “bronson vs. batman” and “rachel getting married vss. dead rachel from batman” fanfics are going into production!

  44. barf*

    *is both my reaction to this news and the catchphrase i submit.

  45. “PLAY HIM OFF, KEYBOARD CATS!” *Cue Batman-versus-furries fight scene, scored to the keyboard cat video*

    Or: “I have come here to poop on kitty litter and scratch up furniture. And I’m all out of kitty litter.”

  46. “THIS CAT NEEDS AN ENEMA!”

  47. Tom Hardy is also starring in this movie, so if you’re a fan of Attractive People Doing Things, this will be right up your alley!

  48. “I Can Has Cheezburger.”

  49. My dark knight rises every time I see Anne Hathaway.

  50. “It’s my way ’til payday!”

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